Obviously
by Milly-It-Is
Summary: They really should have a guide book written on this: "How to Tell Really Embarrassing Stories to a Friend without Dying of Humiliation." Because her life wasn't exciting. Or romantic. It was messy and unplanned. It was them. And they'd just… happened.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, readers!

Thanks for taking a chance on me! I'm a long-time reader, first-time writer, blah,blah,blah… I just like to write! And I get ridiculously involved in what I read. Anyway…

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even my car.

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**Obviously**

Casey pulled her rain boots over her water-resistant socks. One can never be too careful about wet feet. The last time her feet got wet, she'd gotten bronchitis. But today was going to go well; no little slip-ups. She gathered her hair into her hood and checked her pockets again for her keys. They were still there. She blew out a breath, letting her bangs haphazardly rearrange themselves, and looked about the living room with her hands on her hips. This was going to be the most uncomfortable afternoon of her adult life. Except maybe her wedding. But that was different. Sort of.

Deciding that today was going to happen, no matter her stalling, she fished her keys out of her pockets, checked the lock on the front door, and stepped out into the rain.

She really should have planned better for today. Usually, she has a plan for everything, especially when there were so many ways for things to go wrong. Secrets tend to be that way; easy until everything goes wrong. Almost like a lie. But she didn't lie! Merely… didn't disclose the entire truth. Emily was mad nevertheless, and Casey completely understood her anger. The two women had managed to stay friends through college and after. They spoke all the time, through the occasional email and phone calls, and would usually catch up. Just not on everything. Casey really should have seen this coming.

Friday afternoons usually gave Casey an afternoon to herself. She usually wandered to a farmer's market to stock up for the week and Emily shouldn't have been anywhere in Ottawa. Casey had moved there for a reason. Not an anti-social reason, just… a good reason. And it wasn't as if Casey could pretend she wasn't there; Emily noticed everything. She'd screamed Casey's name and run up to her in excitement. Casey had frozen. Blind panic and the mantra of "what the hell is she doing her?" were the only things she was able to register the moment her high school friend launched herself into Casey's arms. She couldn't pull off the rude, "Who are you?" or pretend she only spoke French; this was Emily for Herman's sake! And she was genuinely excited to see Emily, it had been _years_.

Casey smiled warmly and hugged her friend, but her brain couldn't keep up with her mouth as the first words she said were not "Hello" or "How are you" but "Whaaaaaaaat are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Case, what are you doing here? You were in Kingston, last I heard!" Emily's parents had kept their old house in London and kept her up-to-date with the next-door neighbors. Or so she thought.

"And you were back in London," Emily's internship had brought her back home. Which was six and a half hours away. Or seven if one was being safe. Because speeding is a traffic violation.

"My fiancée lives in St. Catherines!" Emily flashed her left hand in Casey's face.

The biggest problem with newly engaged women is that they are very focused on rings. Who has what ring? Is mine better/bigger/shinier? So, the planner that she is, Casey stuffed her left hand into her coat pocket and began gushing over Emily's sparkly engagement ring, asking about size, carrot, the proposal and everything she could think of to keep Emily's focus on Emily and not on Casey. It worked for a while, too. Emily launched into a story about Niagara Falls and an overly cliché barrel while Casey calculated escape routes based on the amount of rudeness involved. She had started walking as Emily talked, the story-teller following utterly entranced by her own memory. Running was just silly; all of her Washington Apples would bruise and her knees would probably break. And in any case, half of Emily's gesticulations involved touching Casey's arm and shoulder. So Emily would probably notice if Casey all of a sudden disappeared. Sneakiness was not a learned trait. Or a Casey trait.

Eventually, Casey and Emily perched at a worn-looking wooden picnic table near the parking lot of the market as Emily told Casey how she and "Steven" had met, forgetting that she'd emailed Casey the story four months ago when it had actually happened. And his name had been "Stefan." Casey toyed with the offending circle on her left hand under the table and tried to fully involve herself in Emily's tale. Would someone report her missing if she were home late? That was mean, Emily didn't talk that much; she was just excited. In high school, Casey had had to rubber-band the phone to her head when Emily and Derek had started dating because all the blood in her arm was gone and her ear was bright red. This was nothing. And was better for her hair.

"Oh, my god!" Emily's outburst jolted Casey's though back to the present. It scared her for a second and she looked around before noticing Emily was looking at her watch. "Shit, I was supposed to meet Steve two minutes ago!" Casey couldn't help it as the relieved smile spread across her face. She made it! Emily maneuvered out from the bench and table and moved to hug Casey. Sure to keep her hand in her pocket until behind Emily's back, Casey hugged her back, truly glad to have seen her.

"I really missed seeing your face, Casey," she said, pulling back. Casey nodded.

"I could be sixteen again," Casey mused, adjusting her purse strap. They smiled at each other, breaching the awkward moment of departing without anything further to say to one another. They sighed, simultaneously and laughed. "Well, it was really nice talking to you." Casey pulled her keys out of her pocket.

"Jesus Christ!" Emily's face hardened slightly. Confused, Casey looked around again before eyeing her friend with a look that asked "What are you 'Jesus Christ'-ing about?" Emily looked back at her, not really joking. "Are you kidding me?" she asked, throwing her arms up in the air.

"What?" Casey asked, wondering if Emily had just now noticed that her attention had been less than undivided.

"You're married?"

What.

Oh, yeah.

Her keys had been in her left pocket. With her hand. And wedding ring. Which was now on display. That was just bad planning.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, all! Hope everyone had a lovely week! Here we go again!

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. But I did do my own taxes!

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Every little girl knows _exactly_ how her life is going to progress by the age of twelve. Casey knew where she wanted to live, what she wanted to do, and even what kind of flowers she wanted in her back-yard. She had binders of magazine pictures, yard maintenance articles, fabric swatches, and sample paint cards categorized and labeled. She knew precisely how she wanted her house to look, feel, and smell. She loved to plan. She calculated everything out; even retirement (Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, USA).

But not one magazine clipping, not one article showed two women, standing in the middle of a parking lot in Ottowa, one with hostile posture, blatantly angry, and the other with wide-eyed panic enveloping her entire form. Because magazine people were never blatantly attacked with eight years worth of guilt on their day off. They smiled (or grimaced, like in headache ads) and carried on perfectly blissful paper lives in two-dimensional perfection.

Unfortunately, Casey was very aware of the way Emily was looking at her; she'd worn a similar one this morning when—Emily's eye's narrowed. Casey winced. She wasn't going to get out of this easily. Emily's foot tapped, expectantly.

If Casey were a better liar, or really, any type of liar, she could brush it off as costume jewelry or some family heirloom that only fit that particular finger. Not that Emily would fall for that, even from an expert. And in any case, Casey's whole demeanor had changed at Emily's accusation; she sucked in a breath and froze. Which was the universal sign for "I am guilty."

"Yeah," she managed, swallowing hard. "I am." Emily arched an eyebrow. Her voice was too calm and made Casey's reply sound shakier than it had coming out.

"And you didn't tell me." It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. Casey bit the inside of her cheek. "What the hell, Casey?" Emily's hands flew to her hips. "Are you joking? Is this a really bad prank? Because it's not funny, and I'm actually a little offended."

Casey was taken slightly aback. "Offended? Why are you offended that—"

"We used to be friends, Case! You were like my sister!" Casey began to protest that they still _were_ friends, but Emily didn't let her. "I've told you every, single, minute detail of my _extremely_ boring life—"

"—minus the parts where you've moved in with your fiancée in St. Catherines—" Emily ignored her and carried on as if Casey hadn't spoken.

"—and you've gotten married and have been living this secret married life and didn't tell _anyone_—" Emily interrupted herself this time, sucking in a huge, loud breath, "Huuu! Casey, do your _parents_ know you're married?" The serious look on her face and her stage whisper made Casey laugh. It wasn't intentional, and she realized how rude it is to be laughing in someone's face when she is already mad.

"Of course they do, Em. They know."

"Then whyyyyy didn't you teeeeeelll meeeeeeeee?" Emily whined, stomping her foot.

"I didn't really tell anyone, Em. It wasn't like I didn't tell you on purpose, and I never lied about being _not_ married," Emily scoffed. "But I really didn't even think about it."

That was a lie. She thought about it all the time. She worried about what Emily would think of her, what everyone else thought of her. She thought about careful ways to weave her personal life out of context when she wrote to Emily. It was a constant worry, but, truthfully, she'd never thought of what she would tell her friend when this façade eventually collapsed.

"Yeah, right." Emily didn't buy it anymore than Casey did. "I refuse to believe that you didn't think about it. You're Casey, remember? You're addicted to thinking." Casey nodded in consent. That was absolutely true.

Which may have been a reason she hadn't told Emily. It had been irrational to get married like that. There was no planning, no pictures, nothing how Casey had imagined a wedding to go. And that was a little embarrassing. _Casey McDonald? Not plan every detail? No way!_ She didn't want to remember how unnerving it had been to stand there in that tiny crowded room, sweating from the heat and her nerves.

"So, why do you hate me so much?" Emily's voice interrupted Casey's memeory. She started for a minute. Where did she get that idea?

"I don't hate you at all! Oh, God, it was a stupid decision that I made _years_ ago that I just haven't reversed and—" Emily held up a hand to interrupt her.

"Years? YEARS? Holy hell, Casey, how long? When did you start your little web of delusions?" Casey flinched. That wasn't a very nice thing to say.

"Ouch," Casey blinked a couple of times trying to shake off Emily's comment. "I—we got married in '17?"

"Three years ago? Jesus Christ! That's a long time to lie."

"Hey! I didn't lie!"

"You're doing it right now, Casey. You're lying to yourself that this isn't a lie!" Emily was pissed. True, in all the years that they had been friends, Casey had told Emily just about everything. But they'd gone to university. And then began work in different cities. And just grew apart a little.

"It's not," Casey mumbled, quietly. Emily just looked at her, blankly, and Casey looked at her sneakers briefly. "Listen, Em, I know you're upset; I know I would be, too. But, I know you were supposed to meet Steven—"

"He can wait."

"—and I don't think I could explain what happened well enough in a parking lot." Casey took Emily's hand. "It was never, ever personal, Em. I just didn't want to cause trouble. And, for some reason, I'm really good at doing just that. I am so sorry."

Emily licked her lips and sighed, pulling her hand out of Casey's. "Fine. Don't explain here." She dug around in her own purse. "But you will explain why you cut me out." Casey wanted to scream at that; how many times did she have to tell Emily that it wasn't about her? "What happened to you that we couldn't be best friends who share everything?"

"Nothing like that, Emily, it just got," Casey sighed and ran a shaky hand through her bangs, "complicated."

"Complicated is your middle name, Casey," Emily said, smiling warmly for the first time since Casey's hand had come out of her pocket.

"I know, but I didn't want to screw up something that was so not supposed to happen and just fell together." She said all of this in a rush, hoping Emily would accept that answer. No such luck, given the puzzled look Emily sent back to her.

"I'm not following," she said, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'll explain, Em, just," she gestured around, "not in a parking lot."

"Too fancy?" Emily asked, sarcastically nodding along. Casey shook her head.

"It's not a fast story, Em, and I don't fancy standing here in the dark and rain to relay it to you."

"Okay, fine. When do you "fancy" telling me? Or are you just going to disappear again?"

"I didn't disappear!" Casey sighed and looked at her watch. She needed to get home or dinner would never be ready. "Let's go for coffee, okay? Tomorrow?"

"Fine," Emily said, pushing her hair off of her forehead. Casey sighed in relief. The two exchanged phone numbers and made to part ways.

"Just one last thing, Case," Emily said, almost quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Who is he?"

"What?"

"Who's your husband, Case? Who is he?"

"Really, Em, let's talk tomorrow."

"My parent's didn't know, no one I talked to has said anything, _you_ didn't tell me, Marti didn't tell Dimi—or else I'll have to kill him for not telling me—oh, my God." Emily looked up at Casey then, a weird spark in her eye. "It's someone I know." Her look was triumphant.

"What?" Casey's question came out like more of a squeak than it was supposed to .

"Ha!" She jabbed a finger in Casey's direction. "I knew it! It's someone I know! Who is he, Casey? Tell me!"

Casey swallowed. _Here goes nothing._

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___There's this cool little link somewhere down here that let's me know what you think... In case anyone is interested! :) _


	3. Chapter 3

What? More? On a Tuesday? I must have neglected my homework! (Because that's exactly what I did)

Thank you to all the beautiful people who have left me a little note (i.e. review) because those make my whole day!

Disclaimer: Yes, because neglecting homework means I miraculously am now able to own copyright information. Please...

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Casey was early, of course. She turned the ignition off and sat back against the seat. Her seat belt was still in place across her chest, but she didn't reach to remove it. This was going to be awkward. And miserable. Miserably awkward. Dammit. She groaned and leaned her head against the steering wheel. The rain seemed to have picked up the pace since she left her house and was pounding against the top of the car. It would have been soothing had her car not smelled strangely of breakfast cereal. And had she not felt the impending doom looming over her head.

Maybe she was overreacting. Her husband had laughed, loudly, for a full minute when she'd told him. He'd asked her if she wanted Emily to know, first, to see how he was supposed to react, but when she'd nodded, his caution was gone. He told her to stop looking like someone had killed her puppy. She didn't have a puppy, but that wasn't the point. When she pointed that out to him, he said "suck it up and stop whining." Lovely. He was braver than she was; he didn't have to bare his soul and beg forgiveness in the middle of a crowded café. Whatever. Casey adjusted her hair, pulling her hood on again, and grabbed for her purse.

It wasn't particularly cold out, but Casey shook her shoulders as she stepped inside, watering the front mat as she wiped her feet. She placed an order at the front counter and grabbed a table facing the door. She was impatient already and tapped her fingers on the table top. It was sticky. Casey dug in her purse and pulled out antibacterial wipes and a stack of 3-by-5 cards. She sanitized the table and settled in.

She straightened her note cards and flipped through them once more. She had laid out four different possibilities, hoping that feeling slightly prepared would help her breathe. Six other cards outlined worst-case scenarios, escape routes, and emergency contact information. The other five were a bulleted list of things she wanted to remember to tell Emily. Because if Emily felt like Casey couldn't trust her enough, Casey might lose her oldest friend. The server brought over her tea and she thanked him before taking a long sip. She closed her eyes, swallowed, and sighed. _Here we go,_ she told herself, cupping the mug in front of her. Her hand stole the heat from the ceramic.

If she thought about it, this really shouldn't be as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. But, she also knew why it _was _a bigger deal than it _should_ have been. It was difficult to fit the abnormal into the accepted categories. Which is why Casey fell into Emily's accepted "liar" category.

On Casey's second cup of tea, Emily came into the cafe. She shook water off of her umbrella and out of her curls before looking around for Casey. She waved, placed her order, and maneuvered her way to Casey's table.

"Sorry," she puffed, brushing her hair out of her eyes, "Steven and I went to brunch." She smiled broadly, hooked her purse around the back of her chair, and turned back to Casey. "And I got lost getting here."

"I did that for a while," Casey remembered. "Nothing was where I though it should be. Thank God for GPS." Emily nodded and gave Casey a once-over look.

"Note cards, Case?" she gestured to the pile under Casey's mug. "Really?" Casey shrugged, somewhat embarrassed.

"This is really hard for me, okay? Don't mock the cards."

Emily smirked and then folded her fingers together and propped her elbows up on the table. "Alright, missy," she said, cocking an eyebrow at Casey, "talk."

"Okay," Casey breathed.

"And don't skip the good parts."

"Right. Good parts." Emily moved her hands in a circle, motioning Casey to continue. "Well, first, I'm prefacing this with, 'I am so sorry we didn't tell you.' Because it just," Casey shook her head a little, searching for a word that didn't sound lame, "happened." That wasn't quite the word she'd wanted. Emily looked unconvinced. "And sometimes I don't think it's quite real. You know?"

"No."

"Like," Casey straightened, "when there is a great upset of information? Like when Pluto was dubbed a dwarf-planted instead of a real planet? Everyone in the science world went a little crazy?"

"Okay," Emily was trying unsuccessfully to keep up with Casey's train of thought. "You married a planet guy? Or got demoted to dwarf planet?" She took her coffee from the server standing next to the table. Emily was clearly not following.

"What? No, Em, that was an analogy."

"Right. Sorry."

"So, it's sometimes weird to think about, and I love to think about things. Just not this."

"Will you just tell me already? I know I know him because your face told me yesterday when I guessed. Who is it? Truman? That one guy from your ethics class? Who?"

Casey made a face. "Uglch, no. Em," she crossed her legs under the table and dropped her fingers to her lap, twisting them together. "Uhm. You knew him before I did."Emily looked confused.

"I met everyone in high school first, so that doesn't really help." Her eyes darted back and forth trying to remember who she'd met before Casey. Casey swallowed, waiting for it to hit Emily, hoping she didn't have to spell it out if Emily guessed wrong. Emily looked up at her expectantly, her eyebrows arched. Casey would have to think of better hints next time.

Casey swallowed and licked her lips. "Derek and I got married three years ago in March."

There. She said it. She told Emily and lived. Granted, she couldn't look at Emily when she said it and now Emily was looking at her with wide-open eyes. Kind of like a deer. And it was quiet. Where was the noise of the other eaters? Were her ears protesting her telling Emily?

"Oh, my God," Emily breathed. The noise in the room returned to the normal, comfortable buzz.

"Em?"

"Oh, my God," she repeated.

"Please don't freak out."

"Oh, my God." Emily blinked a couple of times. "Derek. Wow. Derek? Like Venturi, right?"A small smile started on her dazed expression. "Really? How the hell…?" She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "Woah. Derek got you to marry him before you were thirty?"

Casey was expecting a little more commotion than this. Yelling or throwing things. Something. Emily seemed more amused than anything else. "Yeah…"Casey hesitated a little in her answer.

"I think I need to lie down," Emily laughed.

"Well, the floor is really gross, but in my purse—"

"I am the worst best friend ever."

"What?" Casey definitely hadn't planned _that_ phrase on any of her note cards. "No, you're not."

"Yeah, sweetie, I should have seen this coming."

"What? Why? That wasn't your job! _We _didn't even know until," Casey changed directions, "Plus I didn't tell you anything about—"

"Up until I started that job a year ago, I just went on and on about him," she looked up at Casey. "I am so sorry. I should have known."

"But you didn't, Em."

"I feel like a horrible person." Casey snorted.

"Join the club."

"How did that even happen? My parents think Derek might be dead in New York City somewhere."

"Dead?"

"Your parents don't talk about him anymore." Casey closed her eyes.

"Yeah."

"Jesus Christ." Emily rubbed at her eyes with her hand.

After a pause, she laughed and smiled up at Casey. "You must have really beautiful kids."

"What?" Casey sputtered, a startled expression on her face. She dabbed at the tea she had upset onto her sweater and coughed to clear her throat.

"Oh, come on, Case, I dated him," she grimaced and shook a little, "Anyone married to Derek Venturi for more than six hours has kids." Casey laughed, outright. Derek wasn't exactly shy or patient with things he wanted. Or things he felt entitled to. Or things he's excited about. Or anything really.

"It was a year, actually," Casey smirked, pulling out her phone. Emily snatched at it, cooing over the two small children playing in the grass on the front screen. The boy stood in the yard, next to a pair of adult legs, covered in mud and holding a stick. His smile took up most of his face. His sister didn't look so happy. She sat on the other side of Derek, one leg balancing her on the ground, the other held slightly above the tickly grass, confusion and discomfort contorting her features.

"They look just like him! Well, and you obviously. What are their names?"

"Conor, who turned two in February, and Anna, who turned one in December," Casey pointed

"Woah," Emily commented, handing the phone back to Casey, "he didn't waste any time." Casey snorted. "And you're a trooper!"

"Or insane."

"Well, we already knew that bit." Casey nodded, rolling her eyes.

"My mom says they're called Irish twins," she told Emily, tucking her phone away. "Derek calls them a 'testament to his awesomeness.'"

"In public?"

Casey nodded, a tight, sarcastic smile etched in place. Emily could see the exact expression Casey wore when Derek presented his "testament."

"At least he's humble." Emily sipped at her cooling coffee. "So, Casey, what happened? Why couldn't you tell me? How did you guys, you know, become you guys? How is it that no one knows anything about you?"

"I'm sneaky?" Casey tried. Emily snorted, loudly. Casey was anything but sneaky. Even when she tried. "I dunno, it was kind of an accident." She took a deep breath. "Where to start," she mused, letting the air out all at once.

"Might I suggest the beginning?" Emily asked, blinking profusely at Casey. It would have been polite or sweet if Casey didn't know any better. "I'll be nice, I promise." Emily made an "x" over her heart with her index finger.

"Okay," Casey conceded, "This'll take a while, so, just," she held her hands out as if telling Emily to 'stay,' "sit tight." Casey tucked her bangs behind her ear and scooted her chair a little closer to the table. "Second year at Queens, I went out on the worst first date ever." Emily started to smile, and had to bite the inside of her bottom lip to keep from interrupting.

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Ta da! Not much longer than the last two but... these moments just play in my head like a movie so I have to sloooow doooown and put the words in.

Let me know what you think (or about your worst first date ever); click that little blue link right here. :) I'll make yummy cookies!


	4. Chapter 4

Ta da! Another chapter successfully punched out! Go, Milly! I _almost_ forgot what I wanted to say in this chapter, but I had fun writing it nonetheless!

A very excited and grateful thank you to those who've taken time out to review; look for treats in the mail! :)

There is a flashback in here, so that's why there is a loooot of italics. Which is the flashback part. But that's probably evident. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Still nothing. Nothing is mine. I am not creative or wealthy enough to own more than my Zune. Not even the charge cord. Which is actually my sister's.

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Casey pulled a hair pin out of her purse and secured her bangs out of her eyes. Emily stared expectantly at her over her coffee, biting her lip. This pause made Emily's eyes grow wider and wider with encouragement. She looked almost crazy.

"So," Casey started, "I started working for the student library during my second year at Queens. I loved being a part of that staff. The people who wanted to be around the books were amazing. Some of the students that needed to be there, however, were a different story.

"Because I started after the start of the semester, some students noticed someone else was asking for their student card. And at one point, being the "new girl" made for more attention than I'd expected. And after what happened over the summer, I responded to it. Nick Mortson seemed like a really nice guy; he had a great sense of humor and could carry on an intelligent conversation. He was pretty laid back and didn't seem to have any bite to him. So, when he asked if I'd go see a movie with him, I said yes. And it all went downhill from there."

_ Casey danced from foot to foot as the phone rang. _Please, please, let him answer the phone, _she pleaded with a higher power. She felt almost mean, but this was an emergency. It rang again.  
_

_ "Come on!" she encouraged, out loud. And finally, someone answered. There was muffled fumbling before he spoke._

_ "What?" he demanded. Casey frowned, even though he couldn't see her._

_ "Usually one answers phone calls with 'hello,' Derek."_

_ "Usually you don't call people past nine o'clock," he retorted. Which was true because calling between nine at night and nine in the morning was rude; everyone knew that. "What do you want?"_

_ "You could have been a little nicer about it."_

_ "Don't start with me, Princess. I'm not playing; it's late. What do you want?" He sounded impatient. He _had_ asked three times already._

_ "Will you come get me?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "On campus? Will you come pick me up?"_

_ He paused. It was a weird request. They hadn't actually seen each other for about ten months. That's what he got for living at school over the summer because of some girl. "Uhm, why?"_

_ "Because it's snowing, dark, late, and I'm alone and wearing a dress."_

_"Why are you wearing a dress in the snow?"_

_"That's not the point. I'm stuck on campus and you're the one with the car. Pleeeeease, Derek." He was really her only logical option. If he said no, or hung up like she thought he would, she was sunk. He let out a long sigh that was almost a moan of annoyance. _

_ "Fine, where are you?"_

_ "On campus."_

_ "Thanks, genius. Campus is a large area and I'm not going to search around for you."_

_ "Library. Hurry, it's cold and I might be dying from heat deprivation."_

_ "No, you're—" he cut himself off. "Fine," he said again, after a breath, and hung up before saying 'goodbye.' He really needed to work on his phone manners. Was it so hard to be polite? _

_ She hugged herself against the cold, pulling her scarf closer to her ears. It made her nervous to be on campus when it was dark. Who knew what type of people creeped around when it was late? She shuffled her feet in the snow, trying to encourage movements in order to prevent freezing. How long did frostbite take to set in?_

_ Her teeth were chattering when she finally saw headlights. She moved away from the doorway and the car slowed. It was his sad, beat-up, little car; he saw her. _

_She pulled open the passenger door and slid into the icy seat. She rubbed her hands together for the friction and held them up to the vents that were spewing warm air. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she didn't say anything. Eventually, he started moving again, no longer expecting an explanation._

_ Even though her residence was only five minutes away, the roads were icy and it was snowing, so the drive seemed to take forever. _

_ "Stop it," she commanded. Derek looked at her, surprised at the sound of her voice. The car drifted a little. _

_ "Stop what?" he asked, eyes on the road. There was a quiet moment before she spoke again._

_ "Stop it!" her tone was a little harder and she shoved his arm._

_ "Stop what?" he looked at her like she was crazy. _

_ "_That_! Looking at me like that."_

_ "Like what?"_

_ "Like I'm gonna start crying and you have to get away."_

_ "So," he chanced looking at her, "you're not going to start crying?"_

_ "No, Mr. Sensitive, I'm fine. You'd just laugh anyway; it was simply awful." He smirked over at her. _

_"That doesn't sound like 'fine' to me," he commented. She'd brought a hand up to cover her eyes. And he could tell she was uncomfortable. "Well, now I gotta know, Case." She peeked at him through her fingers, not amused. "You know you want to tell me," he encouraged. "Because Kelsey will be asleep when you get there and calling Emily after nine would just ruin her REM cycle."_

_ "You are the last person I want to tell about a bad date," she grumbled, pouting again. He laughed, the sound coming out in one sharp, short sound. _

_ "A date? Is that why you're in a dress in the snow? And you were on campus? What, a library picnic?"_

_ "You can't eat in the library, Derek," she reminded him. "It's messy and not allowed." He wasn't listening to her, but continued to composite scenarios that he found very amusing. _

_ "So, he got bored with your explanation of the Dewey Decimal system and ducked out? He didn't know that the date was serious? Oh, wait! He didn't show up and you got stuck in the snow?"_

_ "That may have made for a better evening," Casey muttered, more to herself than to him. But in the close quarters of the car, he heard._

_ "Why?" Derek frowned. "Did he touch you?" His knuckles were white on the wheel and they fish-tailed as he turned the corner to get to her residence._

_ "No, I'd probably be sobbing in the event he did that," she made a face, "but it wasn't for lack of attempting to convince me to let him." She shuddered and pushed her hair off of her face. "I mean, who talks to a girl like that on a first date?"_

_ "Not a smooth operator, Case? Or were you being a prude again?"_

_ "I am not a prude!" He cocked a brow at her, "all of the time," she finished, lamely. He still didn't look convinced._

_ "What actually happened then, Princess?" She considered telling him to mind his own business, but he had come at nearly midnight to pick her up._

_ "We went to see that end of the world movie, you know, with all of the explosions," she paused and he interrupted._

_ "_You_ sat through that movie?"_

_ "Yes. Because he picked the movie for me. Just bought the tickets without asking my opinion. And I didn't know what it was."_

_ "You'd have talked his ear off with your opinions though, Case. Saved himself some reconstructive surgery."_

_ "Shut up," she made to shove him again but he yelled "I'm the driver!" at her, so she rolled her eyes at him and continued. "And who doesn't let the girl choose on a first date?" She didn't let him answer her rhetorical question. "Anyway, so, we go get coffee before the movie starts and I spilled a little on my dress—"_

_ "Because you're Casey."_

_ "—and he tells me I could just take it off and he wouldn't mind. Which I let slide because I figured he was trying to be funny. But in the movie he put his hand on my leg, with which I was not okay in the first place! So this guy, this character, is using the world coming to an end to, like, _get it on _with this girl and he leans over and tells me that that is probably what he would do at the end of the world." Derek laughed so much he had to put the breaks on and stop before the lot to her building. _

_"The look," he gasped, "on your face... Must have been priceless!"_

_When he was quiet, she spoke again. "I'm not done. So, we go out to his car and I'm trying to make small talk about something other than the horrible movie, because it was so not for girls. I mean, almost everyone ends up dead, and it's just depressing. __ And he's petting my shin because I put my purse on my lap to stop him from putting his hand back on my leg. _But I'm saying how my knees are the first thing to get cold and he leans over and goes 'you know, there's a way to fix that.' I'm in the passenger seat thinking 'yeah, knee-high socks,' and he says, 'it's called getting naked in a sleeping bag.'"

_ Casey was glad Derek had put the car in park because he was laughing so hard and so loud that the entire vehicle was shaking. Casey was regretting telling him. He didn't understand how traumatized she was. Really, who thinks talking to a girl like that is a good idea? She sat there, watching Derek wipe tears from the corners of his eyes._

_ "Oh, my God, that's fantastic!"He was still chuckling, but had gotten quieter._

_ "What? Fantastic? Derek, I was mortified!"_

_ "Why were _you_ mortified? He was the one saying that stuff. This kid obviously didn't know what he was getting into, or didn't realize women are usually smarter than that. Who took you out, anyways?"_

_ "Nick Mortson?"_

_ "What?" he looked stricken._

_ "What?"Casey was confused. "Do you know him?"_

_ "No, but I think his mom, maybe grandmother, is my Business Management professor." Casey groaned and covered her face._

_ "Oh, God, why? I have to take that class!" Derek shrugged._

_ "Take it from a different prof, Case. You'll be fine. He's just a douche."_

_ "Don't use that word, Derek."_

_ "And he probably won't get laid until he learns to talk to girls."_

_ "Ew." _

_ "How'd you get back on campus? If he was driving…?"_

_ "He was not coming _anywhere _near my residence hall!" Casey stated, seriously. "I told him Kelsey was on campus and didn't want to walk alone." _

_ "And then you called me."_

_ "And then I called you." It was quiet for a minute except for the sound the heater made. Finally, Casey sighed. She just wanted to forget the whole thing. She reached for her purse and the door handle._

_ "Well, it was lovely to see you, Case," Derek said, holding out his hand like she was supposed to shake it. "You just need a better person to first date __next time." He smirked and shook his head. "What a loser." _

_ "I'm starting to doubt the college male's ability to speak to a female," she told him, stepping out of the car._

_ "Hey, I am an excellent first date," Derek protested, pointing a finger. She smiled a little, tired and glad to be close to her room._

_ "I'm sure," she conceded. "Thanks for coming to get me."_

_ "Thanks for the fantastic story that I will share with everyone."Casey moaned._

_ "God, please don't, I'll never get another date again." Derek laughed, good naturedly then, and gave her a rare, legitimate smile that reached all the way up to his eyes. _

_ "It'll get better, Princess." He pointed his finger at her again. She gave him another small smile, nodded, and made to push the door shut. "Goodnight, prude," he called, smirking again._

_ "Goodnight, jerk," she retorted, slamming the door. He waved and she turned toward her building. He waited until she was safely in the door before sliding the emergency brake off with a squeak and driving away. Casey climbed the stairs to the third floor and let herself into her room._

_ Kelsey was asleep, her head under the pillow and her leg off of the mattress. Casey pulled out her phone, set her morning alarm, and changed for bed. _

"Oh, my God," Emily said, still giggling. "That story was fantastic, though, Case. Who else has a creeper like that take them to a horrid movie and still try to get some?"

"Probably a lot of people, tragically," Casey reasoned. "Some boys are dumb." But she smiled. It was funnier in hindsight than it had been as it happened.

"So, tell me again how this is telling me about you and Derek? I mean, yes, you were both there, but nothing remotely exciting happened, apart from hypothermia guy."

"I told you it would take awhile, Em," Casey reminded her. She was looking at the table and twisting her ring around. "But that's where it started."

"He took you home after a bad date?"

"Yeah."

"And drove away."

"Yes."

"Without you."

"Yes…?"

"And you didn't jump his bones or anything?"

"What? No, I didn't—wouldn't have—jump his bones?—Jesus, Em!" Emily held her hands up. "Do people still say 'jump his bones'?"

"I do! It still works. And I'm just saying, he's hot. I would have jumped him right there in the car." Casey covered her red face with her hands while Emily laughed.

"God, Emily, that's because he _liked_ you. We still didn't get along. I didn't like him, I just needed his car." Emily wiggled her eyebrows.

"Riiight," she smirked, "his _car_. That's what they're calling it now."

"Oh, God," Casey's face got impossible redder and she could feel the heat radiating off of her ears. "No, we weren't even friends, Em. He was sort of my last resort. But it did start us talking again."

"What do you mean again?"

"We just," Casey shrugged, "stopped talking when he didn't come home that first summer. It was a nice break, two months of no Derek. And when school started, neither of us even thought to contact the other. So, we didn't talk for a while, most of the year actually, until that January. And I didn't realize how much I missed it."

"So, you started talking?"

"Not face to face, but we'd text and, you know, get along, which was weirdly easy."

"Because it takes too long to fight via text message?"

"Well, yeah, and because we could be friendly, we could share what we wanted about ourselves and not be forced to get along.

When we lived in that house all together, we were two selfish, attention-seeking teenagers who didn't _want_ to get along. So, we really didn't want to get to know each other as un-selfish people. And we actually were pretty compatible."

"When did that change?" Emily asked, a weird "I-just-watched-a-chick-flick" look on her face.

"What?"

"When was it more than compatibility?"

"Not for a long time, Em, because it took me a while to figure out that we _were_ getting along. And that was a long night."

"Why? What did you do?" Emily smiled at her, deviously.

"Oh, typical me," Casey sighed, "freaked out for hours, before confronting the problem head-on and making it worse."

"Oh, no."

Casey nodded. "I was super fun."

* * *

What do you think?

Who's first date story tops this? I would share mine, but I didn't know I was on a date until later... :/ oops.

Anyway! Look for me again soon! And sooner if you hit that lovely blue little link down here because that makes me happy all day long!


	5. Chapter 5

Hello, warriors of testing season! (Finals, Midterms, AP, etc.)

Anyone abandon ship yet?

I know it has been a while, as I have been battling tests myself, but I am very proud of this one!

Thank you to those who reviewed and shared the worst first date experiences!

Disclaimer: I still, still do not own anything.

* * *

Casey bit the side of her thumb. It was a horrid habit she'd developed in college that took her three years to break. Dammit. Finals were forever haunting to her. She kicked at the side of her shoe as she waited, and glanced back to her table where Emily sat. She was typing away at her phone, trying to disguise her impatience. She'd loudly protested when Casey had gotten up for a second tea. But Casey reasoned that she needed something to do with her hands because chewing them to bits was just disgusting. Everyone knows that nail beds are breeding ground for bacteria, and not even the good kind. She was just asking to get sick.

Casey turned back to the counter as her order was called and tucked her thumb into her fist. She carefully grabbed the cup and two pieces of lemon from the dish before making her way back to the table. Emily cocked an eyebrow at her but didn't interrupt as Casey dug for her hand-sanitizer, cleaned her hands, put the lemon and an artificial sweetener into her tea, and sat back against the chair.

"Finished?" she asked, mocking Casey's process.

"Yes, Ms. Impatience."

"Okay. So, why did you freak out?"

"I freak out a lot, Em. I'm kind of good at it."

"Yes, this I know. But what made you freak out about getting along with Derek?"

"The core concept, obviously. To me, Derek couldn't be nice. Nice just wasn't in his programming and when he did nice things, there was always an ulterior motive that fueled them. So, because of historical data, I thought I knew enough to logically conclude that Derek would continue to be selfish and hurtful."

"Was he?"

"I couldn't tell. Things he did… he wasn't being normal."

_Casey was fed up with the wind. She took pride in her appearance and when the wind decided to yank her hair out it was just upsetting. She and Allison hurried out of their last lecture with ducked heads and huddled shoulders. They made their way quickly toward the Student Building for lunch. Casey grabbed at her collar as Allison held her hood on with her whole arm. Casey turned sharply, thinking she'd heard her name, but her hair obstructed her vision, so she ducked inside after Allison. They stomped their feet to free the snow inside the first set double doors._

_ "Brrr," Allison shook her curls out of her hat, "I can stand just about every weather condition, except wind. I hate wind!"_

_ "Arg, me too," Casey agreed, trying to smooth down her hair. She pulled the second door open and the girls shuffled in. Derek was sitting at a table just inside the door, surrounded by other students. He mock saluted Casey as she and Allison passed. Casey grinned and shook her head._

_ The eatery was noisy and full of students. The girls have to carefully maneuver through people to pick their lunch. Casey debated on what she wanted as Allison went to find something warm._

_ "Oh, Casey, look," Allison pointed as she left. "'Warm chicken Caesar salad in a spinach wrap.' That sounds tasty."It did and had sparked Casey's appetite. She meandered over to examine the wraps and had selected one in a sundried tomato wrap when she heard her name again. Nick Mortson entered through the same door she and Allison had moments before. Casey felt her face redden, her hair holding in the heat from her ears. She dropped the sandwich and looked around quickly. She wanted to be anywhere but here. Nick caught up with her as she rounded the fountain drink dispenser._

_ "Jeez, Casey, I mist have called your name like six times." He didn't seem to notice that he had basically chased her around the sandwich corner._

_ "Oh, hey, Nick," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. She wanted the tile grout to suck her up. Or to become invisible. She couldn't look at him._

_ "I had a great time on Friday," he commented, running the back of his fingers down her arm. She twitched involuntarily."Did you get home alright?"_

_ "Yes, thanks, I did, thank you." Great. Now she sounded like an idiot, too. She grabbed a bottle of water and one of the wraps as Nick recounted the evening to her. From the date she'd been on. With him. _

_ "We should hang out again, whenever you're free. I can show you where I make all my music." '_Really?' _she thought, '_Does he think it had gone that well?'_ Casey could see that he was trying to play it smooth. He'd already told her that he made electronic music in his bedroom in his brother's house. _

_ "Oh, gosh, Nick, I don't think-" she started, but cut herself off as Derek loudly called her name and advanced on her with open arms. He gave her a big theatrical hug as she stood there, holding her lunch to the side in shock. He never hugged her. Ever. Not once. Her eyebrows furrowed as he twisted her back and forth. The zipper on his leather jacket was cold against her throat and his scarf was itchy._

_ "How are you?" he gushed, releasing her. She looked at him like he was an alien object._

_ "Uh," she started, flicking her eyes from the ernest and overly enthusiastic smile on Derek's face to the confused and upset expression on Nick's, "spectacular, D, how are you?" Her cadence made it sound like these were rehearsed lines; not at all natural. _

_ "Oh, just peachy, Case," he slung his arm around her shoulders and grinned at her before turning to Nick. He jumped a little, as if he hadn't seen Nick standing there. "Oh, hey dude, I'm Derek." He held out a hand to Nick._

_ "Yeah," Nick said, slowly. "I know." There was silence. "How do you know Casey?" Nick didn't look like he knew what was going on. _

_ "Oh! Case and I go waaaaay back, don't we, Princess?" He nearly put his nose in her ear as he squeezed her shoulder closer to his chest and looked intently at her. Nick's brows narrowed. _

_ "Sure, Der," she agreed, moving her face away a little. They all stood there for a minute, Derek smiling at everyone. _

_ "Well," he finally said, loudly, "This is lovely, but I gotta steal the Princess, bro." And Derek turned Casey out of the sandwich corner, stopping only to let her pay for her lunch. _

_ "What the hell, Derek?" Casey whispered at him as he steered her towards Allison. _

_ "That poor bastard didn't know when to stop!"_

_ "Don't use that word, Derek."_

_ "Plus, I don't think your face could have been any redder without bursting into flame, so really, I just saved humanity."_

_ "Yeah, thanks, Der," Casey plopped down next to Allison, expecting Derek to leave, but he pulled out a chair and sat, too. _

_ "Here, Casey, they had that really good creamy chicken and rice soup," Allison said, quietly, sliding Casey a cup and spoon. _

_ "Really, Derek, what was that?"_

_ "Eh," he shrugged, "thought I'd get you out of a second date you were blushing yourself into." Casey went to stab him with the plastic spoon. "You just looked like you needed an out, so I was being generous, Case. Enjoy it." Casey's phone vibrated from her pocket against her chair. Derek fished it out before Casey could and read her text. "Mission Accomplished," he stated, slapping the phone down on the table. _

_ "Careful!" Casey warned, rescuing her phone. _

_Derek scooted his chair back and stood up. "Oh, you should call Nora."_

_ "I do all the time."_

_ "Yeah, well, mention that you've seen me alive and doing good things would you? She's got some weird concept of what it is I do at college and it's screwing with her subconscious." He backed away smirking, grabbed his bag from the now abandoned table by the door, and left._

_ "That was weird," Allison commented. Casey looked at her text. Nick had sent a long message stating that they probably shouldn't hang out if Derek had any interest in her because Derek could kick his ass._

_ "Extremely," Casey agreed. '_What the hell _was_ that?'

"Aww, your first hug!" Emily cooed.

"Are you kidding?" Casey looked at Emily, incredulously. "He basically let someone think we had a thing. On purpose. For my benefit."

"I guess that's out of character. But, why was that worth freaking out?"

"Because that wasn't the only nice thing."

_ Casey could hear her cell ringing on the other side of the door as she struggled with the key. Her fingers were still wet and slippery, but she managed to twist the lock open to her empty dorm room._

_ "Hello?" she puffed into the receiver, hoping the caller was still on the line._

_ "What took you so long?" He was. Casey rolled her eyes._

_ "I'm not under contract to answer your calls, Derek."_

_ "You have a psychologically unhealthy attachment to your phone, Princess. What are you doing?"_

_ "I had to shower. I went with Kelsey to the gym before her volleyball intramural game and-"_

_ "No, I asked what you were doing _now,_ genius." He paused. "Oh, gross, did you answer the phone in a towel?" Casey blushed, unseen. _

_ "Is there a dress code or something for telephone conversations of which I was unaware?"_

_ "Oh, god, I did _not_ need _that_ visual, Casey."_

_ "Shut up," she chided, pulling on a Queen's hooded sweatshirt. Which was silly because he couldn't see her anyway."What do you want?"_

_ "Well, for the fortieth time, what are you doing?"_

_ "I'm going to review my Accounting homework and work on my Microeconomics paper. Why? What are you doing?"_

_ "Killer Friday night, Case. Way to really get involved outside the classroom." She could hear his smirk from her room._

_ "I have club meetings all week-"_

_ "Have you heard of the Toronto Symphony?" She ignored his rudeness in interrupting her. She'd scold him later._

_ "Of course, Derek. They're playing down at-"_

_ "Yeah, well, do you wanna go?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "To the symphony?"_

_ "The symphony?"_

_ "Yeah, the place with all the classical music you love so much."_

_ "I hadn't planned on going but-"_

_ "I have to go for a class."_

_ "What?"_

_ "That week I had mono I missed a bunch of my Media Arts 212 assignments and I can get credit if I go to the symphony, and I thought since you like it so much…" he trailed off. Casey's eyebrows rose. He'd had mono?  
_

_ "I'm not doing your assignment for you, Der."_

_ "Nah, you can't. My prof knows the conductor and the theater director. I have to get them to sign something and vouch for me. And you can't pull me off; we're just not even near the same level."_

_ "Gee, thanks, that's a nice thing to say when you're trying to ask a favor."_

_ "I'm just saying, Case, that I don't want to feel even more like a dork and be the only one in the place under sixty." _

_ "A lot of people enjoy the symphony, Derek."_

_ "Name five at Queens." He had her there. She wasn't sure she could even count Kelsey. There might be a boy in her World Classics lecture, but he frightened her a little because he was perpetually trying to grow a mustache with little success. "And anyway," Derek continued, arrogance flooding the phone line, "I need someone to stop me from snoring through Chekov."_

_ "It's Tchaikovsky, Derek. He's very famous."_

_ "Yeah, whatever. Are you coming?"_

_ "I don't know. I do have a lot of homework. And can your fragile ego handle music without a bass boost? Can your reputation stand being out with your evil stepsister?"_

_ "As long as you don't make me clean the flagstone again, I'll make an effort." She rolled her eyes again.  
_

_ "Why don't you take what's-her-name? Jolee?"_

_ "Because she has a life. And I'd like to see her again and taking her to the symphony is not the way to do that."_

_ "How do you know she wouldn't like it?" Derek was silent. Casey could picture him, his eyebrows near his hairline and his face incredulous. "Yeah, okay, dumb question," Casey conceded. Jolee had three or four visible tattoos, several piercings, and never wore long pants or close-toed shoes. She probably would have laughed at Derek if he'd asked her to the symphony._

_ "So, are you coming?"_

_ "Are you buying my ticket?"_

_ "You know, you could just stay and marinate in your own nerd. Just don't let Kelsey choke on it when she gets back; murder by nerd is a pathetic story to tell your future inmates. I just thought it was something you might enjoy. Forget I asked." Casey was taken aback. He'd gotten impatient and angry rather quickly. She weighed her options. She did owe him for picking her up at midnight last month. _

_ The line was silent, but the dial tone hadn't started. Derek must have been stewing._

_ "Can you pick me up?" she asked, quietly._

_ "I'll be there in twenty." And the line went dead._

_ "Bye," Casey exaggerated, and snapped her own phone closed. _

Emily held her coffee cup inches from her lips. "The symphony?" she asked. "You freaked out because he asked you to go to the symphony?" She sounded disappointed.

"And he paid. And he drove. And didn't sing along." Which he'd done before when he was bored. It didn't matter if he knew the song or not, or even if the song had words. It was how he'd gotten Casey to change the radio station when they drove together in high school. "It was weird. And I thought something was up. We couldn't hang out, that's just not what we did."

"So, what happened?"

"I was convinced he was planning something, so I called him out on it."

_There was an urgent pounding on the door to her room. Kelsey looked up, startled. One of her earphones had fallen out when she'd jumped. Casey pushed away from her desk, pulled out her own headphones, and unlocked the door._

_ "Com'mon, Case, let's go!" Derek burst into the room and made a beeline for her wardrobe, rubbing his hands together._

_ "Jeez, Derek, I thought it was an emergency evacuation or something. You could knock like a normal person."_

_ "Why? Where are all your normal-people clothes? And why do you have like fifty sweaters?" He flicked through her hangers. She quickly tried to push him out of the way. These were _her_ clothes, around which Derek was usually dangerous. _

_ "Get out of my closet, Derek." She shoved his shoulder again and he barely budged. "Der-rek!" _

_ "Ah, didn't ya miss me, Princess?" He laughed. Kelsey just watched them from her bed with wide eyes. _

_ "God!" Casey huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"_

_ "You've got a date. So, let's go! Bust out that blue eye shadow!"_

_ "What?" _

_ "Yeah, get a move on!"_

_ "Derek, I don't have a date." _

_ "Yeah, you do. The hockey banquet's a couple's thing and you told Kels that Landon was hot." Casey felt her face burn as she turned to glare at her roommate. Kelsey looked immediately immersed in her psyc paper, hyper focused on her notebook. Casey had made it to _one_ of Derek's home games and only went because _Kelsey_ had said one of the players was very attractive. _

_ "I am _not_ going on a date, Derek." Casey seethed. _

_ "Oh, come on, Case. He's a nice guy."_

_ "He has the most penalties in your league!" She felt ready to wring his neck. Why would he set her up and _not_ tell her? Did he not recall the last date she went on?_

_ "He's a cool kid. Hey, and plus, I said you needed to have a better person first date." He pointed his finger at her and grabbed her sweater dress. "Put this on." _

_ "No, that's horrible when it's April and raining. I'm not wearing that. I'm not going." _

_Kelsey made a funny noise and hopped off her bed. She skidded to her own closet and pulled out a cocktail dress she'd used during the Greek Rush in the fall. She held out the dress to Casey._

_ "You like red, right?" she asked around the pencil between her lips._

_ "Perfect!" Derek boomed, clapping his hands together. _

_ "No, no, I'm not going."_

_ "Stop being a worry-wart, Case; you only have 20 minutes."_

_ "No, Derek, no, I'm _not_ going! It's probably some mean trick that will just have me feeling stupid or looking like an idiot."_

_ "Good God, I'm not pure evil. I thought I'd help a buddy out. And, you know," he swallowed and grimaced as he gestured at her, "you." Casey arched her eyebrow and tapped her foot._

_ "What's the catch, Derek? Are you paying him? Did he lose a bet? Is it actually your assistant coach who's missing teeth?"_

_ "What? Can I not do nice things?"_

_ "No! You're Derek! There's always an agenda; you always have your little spin on it. I doubt very much that you've had an elation and decided to change your ways." Derek's face hardened. "What is it? If you're saving up brownie points, I'm not doing any of your final essays! And if you're pranking me, just do it already." He looked angry and confused._

_ "That's what you think? You think I can't do something nice for someone else? Unless it helps me? I'm completely selfish?"_

_ "Yeah," she answered, giving a little shrug. She felt like she was missing something. He stepped away from her very quickly and clenched his jaw. She tried to ignore the hurt and anger on his face. "What?" He shook his head, opening the door._

_ "Landon'll be here at seven," he said. And was gone. _

"Oh, my god." Emily's eyes were wide. "Oh, my god."

"Yeah," Casey agreed, sadly. "That was… not a good night."

"What happened?"

"Well, Landon showed up and I wore Kelsey's dress to the hockey banquet. And Derek didn't show up all night. You remember me telling you about Landon, right? Hockey player, really tall, kinda cute? We dated for almost a year."

Emily shook her head and waved a hand at Casey. "No, I meant with Derek. What happened with that?"

"Well, he was offended and angry; I was upset and confused. So, we didn't talk. We'd throw insults if we were made to interact, but we weren't speaking."

"For a year?"

"Yeah, I'd see him, obviously, but he was always so mad…" Casey trailed off and ran a finger around the lip of her cup. "He had a rough junior season, too. He'd gotten meaner or..." She shook her head. "We didn't really talk again until the night Landon and I exploded."

"Really? The couch thing?" Casey nodded. She supposed Emily remembered her phone call, sobbing hysterically at one in the morning.

"For some reason, catastrophic events seemed to bring us together."

* * *

That's five! Still with me?

Sooooo... what'd you think? :)

Let me know!

(Was the thing about the mail too creepy?)


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, readers! Happy June! I hope some happy summer weather is on its way!

Rating change is for language.

I apologize for the wait and hope a lot of words make it a little better? Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I had the money to own this, I'd probably hire a private jet to be at my beck-and-call instead... that sounds like more fun...

* * *

Emily had promised to call the next morning. Her emergency exit the evening before to save Steven from dinner alone with his parents had allowed Casey some room to breathe. Emily didn't hate her and they still enjoyed each other's company. Granted, Emily had threatened hell on Earth if Casey disappeared again, and she was overly enthusiastic about Casey's life. They really should have a guide book written on this: "How to Tell Really Embarrassing Stories to a Friend without Dying of Humiliation." Because her life wasn't exciting. Or romantic. It was messy and unplanned. It was them. And they'd just…happened.

Emily had asked her to lunch over a message and Casey had to sneak away during naptime before her husband noticed that she'd left and had clipped the baby monitor to his shirt as he fiddled with the television. She hoped the loving note and container of lunch in the fridge would help her when she returned. She was pretty sure bacon and pasta fixed everything.

Casey decided to walk to the little bistro Emily had suggested. It wasn't far from her house, maybe two or three miles, and the rain had let up. And the garage was noisy. She didn't need to advertise that she was abandoning her husband with two sleeping children for a couple of hours. She could be sneaky.

When she arrived, Casey could see Emily at a little wooden table near a wall of windows. She picked her way through other patrons and could hear the wicker chairs squeak as people rearranged themselves. It was an odd background sound and Casey wondered how Emily had managed to take a phone call with all of the noise. She removed her coat and sat as Emily made to end the conversation.

"Yeah, she just got here. Uh-huh, I know. I'll check tomorrow. Yep. Okay, mom," she smiled apologetically at Casey, who had frozen. "Yes. Yep. I got it. Okay, mom, bye!" Emily clicked her phone off and settled it back in her purse. "Sorry, Casey, my mom has this habit of being a teeny bit chatty about everything." She put a napkin in her lap and stared at Casey. "Hello?" Casey was in a daze. Emily's mother. Who lived next to _her_ mother. Had been on the phone. With Emily. As she'd walked in.

"Your mom?" Casey hesitated. She wasn't sure how Emily's relationship with her mother functioned, but if it was anything like her own experiences, her world would end right now.

"Yeah, I told her I'm meeting a planner for lunch," Emily smirked, lacing her fingers together. "I didn't specify what _type_ of planner."

Yes. Plans. Those were nice; Casey liked plans. They made sense, they were organized, they had pretty colors, they didn't scare you half to death with unexpected phone calls. They didn't care if you told them about other plans or not. They were not heavily invested in your personal life.

Emily, on the other hand, was. Extremely. She needed to start watching Days of Our Lives if she was this starved for entertainment. Really, with the way she was eyeing Casey now, it would seem as if everything Emily had heard yesterday simply festered overnight and increase her need for Casey's life story to continue. Which was just silly because Emily knew exactly what happened next before she left to meet Steve. Casey had _called_ her as it_ happened_ in the _first_ place. So, Emily tapping on the table as water glasses were brought over was unnecessary. And also bad manners. As Casey perused the menu, Emily broke.

"Okay," she said, almost too loud. "So, from what you told me a million years ago, you and Landon were both high strung, right?"

"We're just jumping right in there, then," Casey mumbled, putting the menu back down.

"Yes, we are. We are talking and sharing because we are friends, and dammit! Your little secret life won't stop us!" It was a little dramatic, but the corner of Emily's mouth twitched at the end as she tried to keep her face upset. Casey smiled, too.

"Yes, well, at least I can sound like a spy or something." She straightened as the wicker protested. "Yes, Landon and I had similar ways of dealing with stress. Outwardly. Which, to someone who runs on high stress, just fuels the fire. He would stress out and I would stress that he was stressing and, in turn, he would stress out that I was stressing because he was stressed. It was a vicious cycle.

We had a great time while we were dating. He was polite, opened doors, asked my opinion, studied, had a diverse field of interests, and he was great company. Really friendly. But, he was graduating, and I was staying put. I still had a year left in my college career, and he wanted to move to the States and get married. We'd talked about it before and I said no, but I guess he'd thought I'd change my mind.

Whenever we fought about it after I had turned him down, it was loud and violent."

Emily interrupted. "Woah, woah, woah! Violent? What, did he hit you?"

"Oh, god, no. I knew he wouldn't hit me. He wasn't a hitter, except on skates. But sometimes, when he got really angry that I was winning, I had a sneaky suspicion that if I'd been male and pushed just a little bit more, he would have taken a swing at me."

"Winning?"

"The argument. And I know that arguing at all is statistically a lose-lose situation, but he could just _do_ things that seemed designed to _hurt_ me."

"So, how was that violent?"

"Someone always won. Someone always had hurt the other person more. That was winning. After a while, I knew it was bad. And I couldn't stand it."

_The party was really loud. As they pulled up to the house, Casey could feel the bass resonating in her chest cavity. She guessed they were late by more than half an hour because the more alcohol consumed at a hockey party, the louder the music went. Landon's conception of time was definitely skewed. _

_But he'd been really sweet to remember their year anniversary. He didn't have much to work with because his stove top and oven had burnt out, but he'd made an effort to create a picnic for them. Granted, it had rained and they were forced to eat in the back seat of his little Civic which made the car smell like garlic in addition to old hockey sweat, but it was still sweet._

_He used their clasped hands to pop the gear shift into neutral and gave her fingers a little squeeze._

_ "I should just make your hand a gear shift, sweetie," he told her, shaking the skull head that was there now. "That would be so nice to just hold your hand to change gears." Casey didn't know what to make of that. She guessed it was cute, in a creepy way. She detached their hands and cranked her window shut. The music still reverberated through the glass. Landon yanked the emergency break up and hurried out of the car to open her door. _

_ "It's almost like dinner and a movie, sweetie," he told her, taking her hand again. He pushed the front door of the house open for her and guided her inside. It was nearly deafening. She could almost see the beat pulse in the limited space between people. She was going to damage an ear drum. She used to bring earplugs to protect them, but Landon had put his foot down against them months ago. Even though it would save his __tympanum. Whatever. _

_They weaved between people dancing, drinking, and having a good time. Casey's head already hurt. She knew a bunch of the girls some of the other hockey players brought around and chatted for awhile as Landon made his rounds. The girls asked about the classes she had, commenting on this assignment or that professor, and even asked if she'd been to any good parties lately. Since she only went to the ones Landon brought her to, she felt a little trapped when they began talking about a drunken farce that had taken place the day before spring break ended. _

_Casey made her polite excuse and made her own way through the house. The dining room in the back of the house was the source of the thumping music; the table creaked under several large speakers and a stereo system. Casey had difficulty pulling the door closed behind her, and went in search of any other room. She pushed open a saloon door to the kitchen on the opposite side of the house. _

_ "Ah! Casey!" Kelsey launched herself off of the island countertop and hugged Casey's around her shoulders. It took Casey a minute to respond; Kelsey hadn't mentioned the party and had been nearly asleep when Landon had come to pick Casey up for their date. _

_ "What are you doing here? I thought you were calling it a night!" Kelsey made a pouty face and patted Casey on the forehead. _

_ "Gotta power nap for a night out, Case!" she exclaimed, her hands shooting up in the air. Casey rolled her eyes, grinning._

_ "Of course," she replied, "That is essential in party-going etiquette. How could I forget?" Kelsey handed her a soda and they chatted for a while. Apparently, Kelsey went to high school with the girlfriend of the owner of the house and was memorable enough to warrant an invitation. _

_They wandered the house together and found a cluster of girls in the basement playing a game with a movie playing in the background. _

_ "So," one of the girls explained, standing on the coffee table, "If they mention something to do with your major, it's a shot. If someone says 'what?' it's a sip of beer. If they use a word you don't know, it's 10 push-ups. If someone leaves this room to pee, we all have to drink until they get back. Okay? And when comic books are mentioned, we have to all get to that couch," she pointed to the love seat near the door, "in forty seconds. And the floor is lava." _

_Kelsey clapped her hands at the mention of the lava floor. "We are soooooo playing this game, Casey." _

_ "Okay," Casey conceded, knowing no one would rescue her, "but if I crack my head open, call someone sober to drive me to the ER, okay?"_

_ "Same goes for you, missy!" Kelsey squealed and dragged Casey to the coffee table. _

_At the end of the first episode, Kelsey was throwing cushions on the floor to float in the "lava" because the alcohol made the couch extremely far away. Three girls were encouraging others to 'keep going' from atop the pool table. Casey stood, panting on the coffee table gauging her jump from her perch to the bar. It was really unfair that she was double majoring. A shot later, everyone was clambering toward the couch at the mention of the Amazing Spiderman, first edition._

_ "Come on, Casey!" Kelsey jumped up and down on the naked couch and caught one of the girls as she made it to "safety." Casey had thirty seconds to leap over the pool table and two cushions to make it to the couch. _

_The room was alive with energy. Girls were shouting encouragement and orders to drink more. Some had abandoned jackets and scarves, jewelry and cell phones. Casey's hair was disheveled and falling out of her clip into her eyes, she was pretty sure she was sweating in front of a couple of complete strangers, she had consumed more alcohol than she had the past two semesters combined, and she was having an amazing time. _

_She managed to vault onto the green felt, barley feeling the slight burn the table gave her knee. She bounded to the cushions below without any balance issue, and had just made it to the couch when Landon burst into the basement. Seven girls were bouncing up and down on a pillow-free couch, clutching at each other to remain upright, and laughing nearly uncontrollably. _

_Landon tugged at Casey's shirt. "Hey, we're gonna go now." He turned to leave but Casey was confused. Landon didn't leave parties when it was still a double digit time of night. He was usually one of the last to leave. He was a senior hockey player and the life of any social event. "Let's go," he said again. _

_ "What? You're leaving? Landon, I'll take her home, we're having a blast here! She can't leave now." A girl that Casey was pretty sure was named Elizabeth clutched at her and was joined by a chorus of protestations from the other girls. _

_ "No, I brought her here, so I'm taking her back." He turned to Casey. "Com'mon."_

_ "What happened?" Casey finally managed to push the question out. _

_ "Meecham told me there was no parking on the street from 2:30am until 8am, so we have to leave. I'm not paying another $400 ticket."_

_ "Oh, Landon, it's like 12:30am, you're fine," Kelsey piped up, resting an elbow on Casey's head. _

_ "You don't know that," Landon counted, a little harshly. Casey's brow furrowed. "You don't live here."_

_ "I went to school right—"_

_ "You don't know, Kelsey! You do not live here." He was mad. Casey was confused and growing steadily more upset. _

_He was usually friendly with Kelsey and had only ever said 'butt out' in a polite malice before. Kelsey had a strong personality and she had stood up for Casey in one of the epic arguments that had been staged in the Residence hall. She'd told Landon to back off and come back later when things had settled. She was just trying to help. _

_ "But I've been here before and parked overnight on the street, Landon. I just had to move my car before 8. You can stay, just relax."_

_ "Don't tell me what to do, Kelsey," Landon reprimanded her in a clipped tone. He made to walk out again and Kelsey followed him._

_ "Hold on," she said, shutting the basement door behind her._

_ "Wow," a girl next to Elizabeth commented, pulling her hair off her neck. "Landon was _pissed_." The rest of them mumbled some agreement as they hopped off the couch and began fixing the room. Casey felt like she was stuck in slow motion, but grabbed a pillow to help clean up when she heard the shouting. Through the door. Landon and Kelsey. Yelling at each other. About her. Great. He was going to make her lose every friend she had here at Queens._

_God, and _he_ was barley willing to be her friend! He'd take her places and lose her when a gang of his buddies showed up. She'd mentioned that those situations made her uncomfortable, but had struck a nerve because Landon had thrown an apology that he had friends and she didn't as he left her room. That was nice talk coming from someone who is supposed to love you. _

_Casey could feel the heat and anger well up. She was going to stop this before it got any worse. She wrenched the basement door open and stomped up the stairs. _

_The rest of the house had gotten quieter; someone had turned down the music to better hear the fight developing. Everyone else seemed to be waiting, too. _

_ '_Good, God_,' Casey thought, '_People need to invest in healthier forms of entertainment._' She pushed her way towards Landon and Kelsey. They were loud and mean._

_ "So, just butt-the-fuck-out, Kelsey!" Landon bellowed. _

_ "No, ass-hat, listen, she can hang out without you! You've yelled at her like a dog-master all week, so just leave her ALONE and jerk-off somewhere else!"_

_ "Thanks, Kelsey, for the life advice but I don't need it from a bitch like you." _

_ "Oh, I'm a bitch? That's a great insult, Landon. Can't you see you're making her miserable?"_

_ "Fuck off, Kelsey. This isn't your relationship! This is between Casey and me! So, go be a crazy whore and leave _us _alone."_

_Casey seethed. Kelsey was abrasive, but she was not a bitch. Or a whore. That was the final straw. _

_ "What the hell?" Casey yelled over the two of them. Some people turned. "Oh, my God! Just knock it off! I'm an adult, I can make my own choices. Landon, she's trying to _help_ you, if you'd shut up and _listen_ to someone else for once in your life!" She was speaking so forcefully that she'd spat a little. _

_ "God, is she poisoning you with her garbage, too, Casey? Jesus Christ! Come on, let's go." Casey crossed her arms over her chest._

_ "No," she said as calmly as she could._

_ "Casey," he said, louder. "Let's go."_

_ "See? You're not even listening to me! I am not leaving with you." Landon made a face and Casey watched his fists ball. And then he rounded on Kelsey._

_ "Why are you trying to control her?" he screamed at her. _

_ "Me?" Kelsey shrieked, incredulously. _

_ Casey took his arm, "Landon, I make my own decisions. I'm not a baby and I'm not your property."_

_ "I know you're not my—"_

_ "And Kelsey was being nice. She was trying to help you stay here longer. With your friends. She was offering advice!"_

_ "I don't need her fucking advice!" Landon was nearly pink in the face. "She's pushing you further away from me! She's making you hate me! She's—"_

_ "My friend? Landon? Am I allowed to _have _friend?" Landon made to walk away, but someone had pushed another couch against the wall and it was blocking the front door. "I don't hate you! I hate how you're _acting_!" He moved away again and people gave him a wide berth. Casey moved after him, determined to make him listen. "You can't just walk away from this and hope that everything is going to be alright, Landon! This is bigger that the two of us screaming at each other." _

_He wasn't listening. He motioned for the guy sitting on the couch to get up so he could exit this argument. He wasn't getting away that easy. This was a big problem, and Casey was going to make him see. She pulled his arm away from the base of the couch and stood on it. The seat brought her eyelevel with him. _

_ "You're not listening to me, Landon! You have your head so far up your own ass that you can't see around you! You _can't_ treat people like that!"_

_ "Casey get off the couch."_

_ "You can't treat people like they are dirt and you can walk all over them!"_

_ "Casey," he pulled her elbow a little, "move."_

_ "No, Landon, listen to me! We're not going to fix this if you think this is okay! You're just screaming at people trying to help! She's my friend!"_

_ "Casey get off the fucking couch!"_

_ "No!"_

_Casey drew breath to finish her argument, but Landon was too far gone. He picked up a corner of the couch and tipped it over. Casey tumbled off of the couch as Landon flipped it over and Kelsey screamed a stream of profanities at him. He helped Casey up by tugging her arm. Casey jerked away from him._

_ "Don't you touch me." Her voice was even and biting. "I am so finished. I am done with the fighting and done with this drama. I am done with you." And Landon punched the wall next to the door on the way out. _

_Kelsey rushed over to Casey and looked at her bleeding elbow. _

_ "We gotta call someone, make sure nothing is broken."_

_ "No, Kels, I'm fine. Can we just leave?"_

_ "Yeah, let's just," she looked around at the people immersed in the new gossip, "find someone sober and get you a Band-Aid."_

_And suddenly he was there. He assessed her elbow and gave her face a once over. _

_ "I thought you hated me still," Casey said, as he picked up her purse and discarded shoes. _

_ "Yeah, well," he didn't look at her directly, "you kinda need me, Princess." Derek gave her a flash of a smirk._

_ "Oh, yeah?" Kelsey retorted, her own shoes now at hand. Casey cocked an eyebrow. "How do you figure?"_

_ "I'm the only not-drunk driver here," he smiled jingling his keys. "I think Miss Priss had more than I did." He looked Casey over again and shook his head, hanging it in sadness "I'm slightly ashamed of myself."_

_Casey finally cracked a smile. "Maybe I can just take it better than you."_

_ "Yeah, sure. Dream on, Princess." He kicked the upturned couch out of the way and ushered the two girls out of the front door._

"Wow." Emily's eyes were wide. Casey was slightly pink in the face. She'd cleaned up the language considerably, but she was pretty sure that other patrons had heard her story and she was a little embarrassed. "Is that when you called me?"

Casey nodded. The second she got back into her room, she burst into tears, called Emily, and sobbed over the phone for hours as Kelsey rubbed her back.

"So," Emily smiled a little. "Derek's back."

"Yeah," Casey bit her bottom lip. "He was there."

"Did you guys talk about it?"

"Do you think Derek would ever sit down with me and talk about something?"

"No," Emily acknowledged after a moment of thought.

"Yeah," Casey nodded. "But he was back. And that was it."

"It?"

"We were friends. I knew he actually had feelings for a person other than himself. And he knew that I was willing to trust him."

"Okay."

"He became a real person; someone with a soul and a mind instead of just my jerk stepbrother."

"So, what happened next?"

* * *

So? What'cha think? :)

Let me know, and feel free to share your own relationship explosions!

...did anyone else notice how GIGANTIC the 'review' buttons got? ... they must be hinting at something, I just can't put my finger on it...


	7. Chapter 7

Hello, again! It's June! I've been getting my traveling in early this year, but still made time to write! So, Happy Reading!

Thank you to all the beautiful and wonderous reviewers! (yes, I know that's not a real word) It really does make my day to know that people are enjoying what I write! :) I really have fun with this. Anyway...

Disclaimer: Nada. No monies. Sorry.

* * *

Casey's ear felt like it would melt at any minute. She kept her cell pressed between her shoulder and her left ear while she sorted through the papers on her bed. She had a file case open at her feet and several pen s stuck in her hair and behind her ears. She bent over her legs to tap on her computer and murmur into the telephone. She was going to have to switch ears soon. She shifted pages of her report into the organized fashion she wanted and pulled a sticky note tab from the line-up on her headboard and tagged each section. She couldn't just reach the binder from her perch on the bed; that would have to wait until after she was off the phone.

"No, Em, I'm listening." She adjusted the phone against her shoulder and shifted her papers in order to cross her legs. She stretched, popping her back.

Working from home on Mondays usually gave her an opportunity to clean her house after the hurricane her family created in the mornings but today she was buried in paperwork. And Emily's insistent questions. Emily was impatient. She'd called once while Casey was in the shower and again when Casey was returning from dropping her children off. Emily had texted that she wasn't trying to be annoying, but wanted Casey's opinion on a couple of center piece arrangements. And for her to spill the rest of her secrets. Casey so desperately wanted to keep Emily as a friend; she had felt quite alone for a long time. Some people…never mind.

Casey called Emily back during a short break and they'd chatted about Emily's job and other nonsense topics while Casey finished up some loose ends of a final budget report and fired off a few emails.

"Hey," Emily said after a moment's pause. "D'you want to meet for a coffee?"

Casey interest was caught. Coffee? She translated Emily's invitation to _'I'll buy you coffee if you tell me more about Derek.' _Casey didn't like that she felt tethered to her past; she had lived it the first time and it hadn't been something she felt ready to relive. But Emily had been her greatest friend. And that was something she hadn't been able to say about anyone else. For a long time.

But she liked the idea of coffee. Her daughter had needed her to kill a spider in the bathroom at 4:50 this morning. And she'd been awake ever since. Casey tipped her laptop closed and ran a hair through her hair. She needed a shower.

"Sure, Emily," Casey sighed, "I could really use some coffee." _And a break, _she thought. She tossed her phone on the bed and pushed her reading glasses back up her nose.

Casey felt more human as she blow dried her hair and shimmied into a pair of jeans. She grabbed her list of things to get done, her grocery list, and the list of activities her family had the rest of the day. She stuffed her feet into her boots and grabbed her keys. She paused at the front door and looked around. She sighed. This pattern was not one she'd ever imagined continuously repeating.

Emily made a face as the Americano sloshed over the side of the cup. She set it delicately in front of Casey and pressed a wet napkin to her wrist and the spilt coffee.

"Espresso is hot!" she exclaimed, smiling too brightly. She shook her wrist and stared up at Casey.

Casey wrapped her hands around her paper cup and breathed in. It had been a busy morning. But Emily wasn't patient enough to wait for Casey to erase the beginning of her day and tapped her foot against the table stem. "So, Ms. Casey, now that Landon is off pouting in his fit of rage…" Emily trailed off, biting her lip as she smiled. Her eyebrows were nearly kissing her hairline.

Casey evaluated Emily's face for a moment. "You know, Em, I'm getting the impression that you think Derek and I were eager to jump into bed together, but that's just not true. Sure, we were able to keep civil conversation, but to me, he was still very obnoxious. And he thought I was still very uptight."

"Even after you screamed at someone in public?"

"Yes."

"At a party?"

"Yes. We could keep a texting conversation friendly, but Derek was the root of many of my existing problems, and continued to create new ones for me at an alarming rate. No one was safe."

"You're making this sound like an abusive relationship," Emily said, sounding concerned.

"I was only abusing myself , Em. He was blissfully ignorant that he was chiseling away at my carefully constructed universe."

_There must be something psychologically wrong with her. Casey missed him. They'd had an extremely public break up and she still felt worse off than before. She threw her bag down on her bed in her Resident's Assistant room and flopped onto the carpet next to it. Kelsey had brought her a stuffed monkey and a card during her library shift. She'd pressed the money to Casey's neck and told her that she was sorry that Casey was sad, but she was so much better off. Minus the crying and feeling like her soul was a little squished. _

_Casey dug the monkey and the card out of her bag and tore open the envelope. It was meant to be a 'Get Well Soon' card, but Kelsey had added an encouraging note and her gay resident director had added that she had great hair. And Derek had signed it. He'd stated that Liz told him that since she never met the guy, the whole relationship didn't really count. Casey snorted. Her sister truly had a way with words. _

_Her room was dark by the time her shift was over, but she opened the blinds on her window anyway. Logically, she knew being sad over another human being that was still living was silly. She knew that relationships ended for a reason. But Landon's texts of '_I'm sorry,_' and _'It was a stupid fight,_' and '_I still love you,_' made it harder to think of that reason. She missed him. She felt like she was floating slightly above ground, without a tether. _

_There was a soft tentative knock on her door just before she pulled her blankets over her fully-clothed body. The intruder knocked again. Dammit. Casey rolled herself off of her mattress and answered the door. _

_ "Hey," Kelsey said, kindly. She held a gift bag and a loofah on a stick. "How are you doing?" Casey curled into a chair as Kelsey entered the room. _

_ "I'm okay. I'll be okay. I'm still just," she paused looking for words, "blech." _

_ "But at least you've retained your intelligent vocabulary, Princess," Derek mocked, coming in behind Kelsey. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket and he looked slightly uncomfortable. "Your phone just buzzed." Casey snatched her cell off of the small table it sat on before Derek could. _

_Landon again. '_Sweetie, I don't know who's telling you what, but we really need to talk. I think we can work this out and still have everything we wanted._' What? What was 'everything we wanted' supposed to be? Who is supposed to be telling her things?_

_ "What does that mean?" she asked, tossing her phone to Kelsey. Kelsey shrugged and passed it on to Derek before Casey could stop her._

_ "Oh, he doesn't want you to know about the girl he took home last night," Derek informed them, handing Casey back her phone. _

_Ouch. The girl he took home last night. They'd only broken up the night before last! What kind of person _does_ that?_

_Casey chucked her phone into her wardrobe out of frustration. She felt like crying again. She buried her head in her arms. This sucked. _

_ "Oh, Case," Kelsey flew over to Casey's side. "He's an asshole. And you are better than that." She glared at Derek because he indirectly caused the tears. _

_Derek looked _extremely_ uncomfortable. "Uh, do you want a hug, or...something?" _

_ "What?" Derek did not just offer hugs. Especially to Casey, and especially not in front of a witness that wasn't going to pay him._

_ "I hear I give really fantastic hugs, and if it gets you to stop crying, I'd give you a hug."_

_ "God, you make it sound almost poisonous," Kelsey scoffed. She pet Casey's head. "But it might do you good. Lots of hugs? Here, stand up." Casey was pulled into a standing position and Kelsey engulfed her in a boney hug. That girl was all elbows. _

_She pulled away and pushed Casey at Derek, who seemed to reconsider his offer because the tears hadn't gone away. But he pulled her close nonetheless. _

_He smelled great. Like soap and leather and something spicy and outside. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and squeezed. Casey closed her eyes and felt rooted. She was back on the ground. _

_ "He's a dick, Case," Derek said, loosening his grip. Casey nodded her agreement. She pulled away and used her fingers to wipe her eyes. She already had a headache. _

_ "Plus," Kelsey chirped, "now you can be less sad and more angry!" She grinned and nearly kicked over her gift bag and she moved toward the chair. "Oh!" She scooped up the contents and handed the whole thing to Casey. "I got you some goodies."_

_Casey pulled out a bottle of aspirin, a pack of tissues, a lotion and body scrub set, a bar of dark chocolate, really soft mittens, an iced tea, and a coupon for student night at a bar off campus. _

_ "A post-breakup kit," Kelsey beamed. "There's nail polish and face masks in there, too."_

_ "And this is where it gets girly," Derek groaned, moving to the door. "Let me know if anything exciting happens at the bar," he waved. "Later."_

Emily cooed at Casey over their table. "That's so sweet!" she said, in an admiring tone. "I can't believe he acknowledged a breakup where he wasn't a participating party!"

"I was more shocked at the hug," Casey stated, amused at how Emily must have been interpreting the scene.

"Well, yeah! That's fantastic! Did he go to the bar with you? Did you guys hug more?"

Casey laughed. Emily was on the outside looking in on this life event. But for Casey, it had been a shock of a onetime event, and that was about it.

"No," she told Emily, who went very still. "He did whatever it was that he did and I picked up my world and carried on. Kelsey and I were moving house and I swore off men."

"Again?"

"I was tired and didn't want the stress of a boy while I tried to graduate. It was all very logical. And Derek stayed out of the way. For the most part."

"What does that mean?"

_There were boxes everywhere. Normally, Casey would have made an effort to unpack everything immediately and put it in its proper place, but the end of April brought the end of term. She was throwing herself into her finals. Because that's where she belonged. She could organize her notes and testlets and nothing would yell at her. _I'm fine, _she assured herself. _I can do this.

_The moving boxes that littered the floor and surfaces of the new basement she and Kelsey had rented would have to wait. While Casey was going to miss her Residence and being an authority in the Residence Halls, she felt like it was time to have a grown-up place to live. It was perfect; within walking distance to her summer internship and not too far from campus. It was a fresh slate where she wasn't reminded of how angry and hurt she was. Over a boy. Who seemed to be doing just fine without her. _

_She drowned herself in the piano compositions of the Romantic era as she highlighted the important formulas in her book. And she chose to ignore the tapping on the other side of her bedroom door. Everyone knew it was finals. Everyone knew she had to study! The tapping continued despite her telepathic message to cease and desist. _

_ "I'm in a zone , here" she called, not bothering to switch her music off. Her door pushed a box out of the way as it opened. She groaned. "Sure, just come in anyway," she mumbled._

_ "Well, now I know it's a zone," Derek laughed, moving more boxes without her permission. "The _Twilight Zone._ How is Rod Serling, by the way?"He flopped down on her bed._

_ "Wow, a classic pop culture reference. I'm impressed." She swiveled her chair to face him. "And here I was convinced you knew of nothing before Technicolor."_

_ "Oh, I am full of information," he assured her as he stretched out._

_ "You're full of something," Casey muttered, turning back to her Financial Management textbook. "Keep your shoes off of my duvet." Derek smirked at her and tugged his sneakers off. _

_ "Nice place. You'd mentioned the boxes; I'm surprised you have this much shit." _

_ "Don't use that word, Derek." He threw a shoe near the door. _

_ "Kinda dark," he threw the second, "but I guess that comes with the whole basement things, eh?"_

_ "What do you want, Derek? I'm really busy. I have a final on Thursday and I really need to study."_

_ "Yeah, and I really hate to harsh your groove, Princess." He leaned back against her pillows and folded his hands behind his head. She knew he was lying. He _lived _for 'harshing her groove' and went out of his way to do so._

_ "I swear, if my pillow smells like your hockey bag later, I'm going to kill you."_

_ "And that's what we call premeditated murder, ladies and gentlemen." Casey rolled her eyes and popped the top off of her highlighter. "Kelsey's changing."_

_ "And in your language, that means 'come interrupt Casey's study session?'"_

_ "Nah, that was on the agenda anyway," he smirked up at her again. She held his gazed for a second before twisting back to her desk._

_ "Why is Kelsey changing?"_

_ "Oh, this band I want to see is at a bar near the freeway, so we're going to go see them play."_

_ "Oh, cool." Casey wasn't exactly sure if it was cool or not. She was pretty overwhelmed with different types of ratios. _

_ "Ready?" Kelsey asked, leaning against Casey's door frame. She'd borrowed a sun dress of Casey's and paired it with a leather bomber jacket and gladiator sandals. Not exactly what one would call practical bar clothing. _

_ "Yep," Derek said, messing up the pillows as he got off the bed. "Later, Princess," he called, grabbing his shoes as he went. Kelsey gave a little wave._

_ "Good luck on your test."_

_Yeah. The test. Because she was really going to be able to concentrate now. Great._

"He dated your roommate?" Emily looked slightly shell shocked. "Good God. First me and then your roommate? He's like a puppy circling around before laying down!" Emily had gotten quite loud. Casey knew she was expecting something huge and romantic to blossom from her explosive breakup. But that was not how life worked. It wasn't hugely romantic.

"Sort of. They just 'hung out' according to both of them, but it always made me feel awkward."

"So, what did you do?"

"Avoided them when they were together, mostly. I really enjoyed Kelsey as a roommate, and Derek was Derek, but there was something that made me queasy when they hung out in her room."

"In her room?"

"That's where the TV was."

"Sure." Emily rolled her eyes. "How did that end? What happened?" Casey smiled a little.

"My brain played catch-up."

* * *

Hmmm! What do you think?

What do you think about the cool new format with pictures? I think that's pretty neat and wish I were more creative...

Let me know what you think! Or about an unexpected change of events in your life! Or about how frustrating Finance is! The blue box is hard to miss! :)


	8. Chapter 8

I can't believe it's the middle of July already! How time flies...

Anywho. I had a _really_ long chapter at first, but decided it would sit better as two, so another update may be in the near future! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope. Still nothing. Not even my education.

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Casey's office was quiet. The florescent light hummed and her desk fan made a pleasant white noise as it whirred. It was peaceful. People usually didn't start trickling in until around eight thirty, so Casey had her desk pod to herself for an hour. She kept her laptop awake and propped her chin up on her hand.

She could tell that she was going to have to search for motivation today. Financial statements and economic projections were not going to be easy. She spun a little in her chair before shaking her head and adjusting her second and third screen monitors to the precise place she wanted them. She remembered why she came to the office early. Some of the reasons had still been unconscious when she'd locked the front door behind her.

Friendship was something that came naturally to some people. Her husband, for one, could find something in common with just about anyone and could strike up a conversation that would last for years. Casey was not blessed with this ability. She cared about people; their thoughts, their opinions. She wanted to be liked. Derek said this was her biggest problem. Which is exactly what she wanted to hear whenever he mentioned it. Ass.

The reappearance of Emily in her life was a godsend. An unexpected little moment where it felt like a higher power was cheering for her team for once. A friendship forming all over again. With all that she'd gone through —no. Casey shook her head again. No. That didn't belong here.

By four thirty, Casey had been at her desk for over nine hours, including a working lunch where she got to learn the new software that automatically calculated the interest for both the accounting and tax basis of an asset with the simple click of a button. It was really very exciting. It would cut down on time spent in different software and would allow her to produce projects much more efficiently. Derek pretended to snore when he phoned to check in on her. He was just jealous that she got to play with computers and he didn't. Casey stuffed her laptop and a folder of things to do at home into her purse and made her way to the elevator. She hoped she had left with enough time to get lost.

Emily stood outside of her office next to a giant, rolling suitcase. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet and waved excitedly when she saw Casey.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for being able to do this!" Emily gushed, shoving her bag in to the trunk. "I don't really know many people here, apart from Steven, so I am soooooo glad that you could take me." Casey smiled as Emily climbed into the passenger seat next to her.

"Of course! I'm always willing to help out," she adjusted the route on her GPS and pulled away from the building. "So where are you going again?"

"My mom and my grandma want to help me find my dress! They both promised to be there to help me decide on the perfect one, once it was clear that both of their dressed were not going to work. And since grandma's got seniority, we're flying to her. I'm really excited, but have no idea what I want." Emily was happily distracted for a while, and the two women discussed trains and veils and shoes. It was happy, lighthearted conversation in which Casey was enthralled to participate.

Closer to the airport Emily sobered. Casey really should have seen it coming.

"Okay, so, Derek and Kelsey?" Emily was in desperate need of a hobby. Or a television.

"Em, you're about to go wedding dress shopping and you want _me_ to be the one talking now?"

"Yes. Puh-leeeaase, Casey, I'm spending two days alone with my mother and _her_ mother. One little anecdote?" She pouted. "Please? What's next?" Casey's resolve cracked. Emily grinned, hugely.

"Let's see, what's next? Well, I started an internship that summer, which was part of the reason we'd moved. And Derek went back to London."

_Casey pushed the straps of her purse back into place and hit the elevator button again. It was difficult to juggle the file she needed and scan her badge for access to her floor, but she managed without dropping a thing. Because she was a professional. She got to wear high-heels and everything. _

_When the right floor dinged, she shifted the file and went to drop her load at her desk. She had a desk! A real, proper, grown-up desk! That file was the last thing she needed before she went to lunch. She locked it in her drawer (because her desk had drawers that locked!) and went out to the break room, enjoying the sound her shoes made against the linoleum._

_Kelsey had made her lunch like it was a child's first day at school. She's missed Casey's first few weeks at the office when she was home and on vacation with her parents, but had been very sweet to leave a brown paper lunch for Casey to take to work. Kelsey had even written her a little note. It was a hastily written poem about being an adult and crying or something to that extent. It was lovely. Her phone had several messages as well. Her mother had wished her a happy Wednesday and Kelsey had asked if she could get a few items on the way back from work. And Derek._

_He'd sent a picture of George's attempt at a Crockpot dinner; something grey and lumpy. The picture was captioned '_He learned something new. We might not last the night.' _Casey laughed and sent back, 'First Aid kit is in the utility closet.'_

_His response was immediate. 'How do band-aids help me if i'm poisoned?'_

'_Anti-nausea medication?'_

'_So at least i'll die peacefully.'_

'_I doubt you can do anything peacefully.'_

'_Arent you supposed to be working?'_

'_I'm eating lunch.'_

'_God i'm starving.'_

'_Go eat lunch.'_

'_Nah, then i'd have to move. I'm supposed to be watching simon eat something.'_

'_What are you actually doing?'_

'_Watching simon hide parts of his lunch around the house.'_

'_Who's cleaning that up?'_

'_You?'_

_Casey rolled her eyes. He was easier to get along with over the phone. It required less energy to type words at him than it did to pull a civil conversation out of him. If she didn't dislike him so much, she might have enjoyed their correspondence. _

_It turned out to be the longest work day of her life, to date. She'd had the opportunity to attend a couple of training seminars and had still needed to finish correcting the financial statements she'd prepared earlier. When she finally made it back to her little basement apartment, she was ready to pass out. _

_Kelsey sat at the table near the little kitchen in sweatpants. She looked as rumpled as Casey felt. She pushed her glasses into place as Casey flopped onto the sofa. _

_ "Long day?" she asked. Casey muttered something into the cushions and groaned. "Come again?" Kelsey clearly didn't speak couch. _

_ "I think I'll just stay a student forever; work is hard." Casey rolled over and contemplated changing out of her pencil skirt and blouse before she wrinkled them too much more. _

_ "I hear that," Kelsey agreed, thumping her book closed. "I think law school should keep m e from the real world for a little longer." Casey nodded and heaved herself off of her seat in the direction of her bedroom as Kelsey pulled open the freezer to look at dinners. "My mom sent me with lasagna." Casey sent her a thumbs up and shut her door._

_She kicked off her heels and pulled skinny jeans on under her skirt. She stood and looked around her room for a second, as if confused on what to do next. Her phone buzzed. Derek sent her a picture of the grey pudding that had been decorated with parsley. '_he "fixed" it.' _ Fixed was a delicate word. She sent back that Kelsey was heating up Italian food and he told her he was moving in. _

_ "Derek says he's moving in," Casey informed her roommate, reemerging to eat dinner._

_ "Really? You've heard from him?" Casey nodded, her mouth full. "I texed him a couple times, but never heard anything."_

_ "He's really horrible at communicating like a regular human being. It's usually grunts and hand gestures which can be difficult to text." Kelsey shrugged. _

_So, they hadn't been talking. That was strange. When Kelsey got up to throw away their plates, Casey sent him a message. 'Kelsey thinks you're dead."_

'_why?'_

'_Because you were hanging out before you left and now you're ignoring her.'_

'_I just dont have anything good to say?'_

'_Since when does that stop you?'_

'_why is this a big deal? I though me seeing your friends freaked you out.'_

_Casey shrugged. She had yelled at him about Emily. And had threatened him about Kelsey. But ignoring her was rather rude._

'_I didn't mean you should throw her out.'_

'_make up your mind princess. I dont know what you want.'_

_Casey paused. Neither did she. It was too weird when he was dating her friends, but his manners when handling the situation left something to be desired. And why was it her choice, anyway?_

'_Just play nice, Derek.'_

_She could practically feel his smirk oozing through his next message. 'I always play nice princess.' It worried her a little. _

_Kelsey popped her head into Casey's room before either went to sleep to tell Casey that Derek was taking her to dinner next week. Casey did not understand that boy. _

"So, they were still dating?" Emily interrupted. They pulled up to the curb at Emily's terminal. "What did you tell me that part for?"

"Because it's important."

"Why? Was Kelsey his first wife or something?" Casey snorted. Emily locked her door. "I am not leaving this car until you tell me something good."

"But you have a flight."

"Years of lies to make up for here, lady! Get talking!"

_It was eight thirty. Casey contemplated going to bed. She didn't want it to seem like she was waiting up for Kelsey to get back. Because she wasn't. She was just bored. And alone. And, frankly, weirded out by the whole situation. _

_But sleep didn't come and diffuse the situation. She lay in bed staring up at her ceiling. It wasn't nearly as interesting as she wanted it to be. It wasn't long after that she heard Kelsey's sandals clicking on the steps down to their apartment. She closed her eyes and rolled to her side at the light knock on her door. _

_ "Case? Are you awake?"_

_ "Yes?" Kelsey came in, sat on Casey's bed and tucked her feet up under her. Casey sat up, too. "How'd it go?"_

_Kelsey shrugged and picked at Casey's quilt. "It was fine. We went and got glorified sandwiches at that coffee place."_

_ "You seem less than enthused." _

_ "Well, it was just kinda weird, you know?" Casey was puzzled. "Like, I felt like he thought of me as a guy. Does that make sense? Like I was a seat filler; someone he'd be able to eat with or something." She shrugged again. "He kinda felt that, too." Casey's eyebrows were halfway up her forehead. Derek telling a girl how he felt made this conversation seem scripted and surreal. _

_ "Did he just drop you off?"_

_ "Yeah, well, Marti called him, so he was on the phone when I left." Kelsey heaved a sigh. "Whatever, he was really nice about it."She clambered off of Casey's bed. "See you in the morning."_

_Casey sat there still puzzled. Then she threw off her comforter and grabbed a hooded sweatshirt before padding up the steps._

_She peeked out the front door. His car was still parked. The ground was wet under her bare feet, it must have rained. He was still on the phone when she slid into the car._

_ "Because I'm an adult, Smarti, and am allowed to drive up to Casey's by myself. I'll bring you next time. I didn't know you would be so upset that I missed movie night." He paused. "What if we go out to see a movie one night I'm not working? Yes, you can pick the movie. Okay, Smarts, a wild, rabid beaver has found its way into my car, ow!" Casey punched him, "so we'll talk when I get home. You, too. Bye." He hung up and looked at Casey. "Can I help you?"_

_ "You broke up?"_

_ "No, Marti still loves me." Casey glared at him. "What? Kelsey?" She nodded. "We…we weren't dating."_

_ "Well, what was tonight?"_

_ "Eating?"_

_ "Don't play stupid, Derek."_

_ "It's a gift." He sounded bitter. _

_ "Why did you dump her?"_

_ "I didn't. We've had to have been dating." Casey glared at him. "Why aren't you wearing shoes?"_

_ "Don't change the subject."_

_ "Why does it matter?" he threw his arms up. He was frustrated. " I thought you'd've been off my back about this."_

_ "So, this is my fault?"_

_ "Yeah, kinda," he shrugged._

_ "What kind of crap logic is that?"_

_ "I don't do logic, Princess. I have to leave now; else a very angry Marti will also be your fault." _

_ "That's stupid."_

_ "Yeah, well, that happens." They sat there in a crowded silence for a minute. He eventually made a shooing motion with his hand. Casey groaned and pulled the handle to the door a little too hard. "If you're done yelling at me for doing something you told me to do, do you want to help me go photograph a vegetable market on Friday?"_

_ "What? Why?"_

_ "I'm building a portfolio for that summer class I need."_

_ "I meant why me?"_

_ "Well, you keep cutting me off from my other friends so…" he trailed off. _

_ "But you have a lot of friends."_

_ "Are you calling me popular?"_

_ "Uh, if you want to take it like that."_

_ "You just said it like that."_

_ "So, I'm your rebound friend?"_

_ "Are you up for it or not?"_

_Casey thought for a minute. He'd extended an olive branch of friendship. Willingly. She could ignore it and they could carry on, business as usual. Or she could be the bigger person and accept. "Sure. I'll be your substitute friend." He rolled his eyes._

_ "Thanks for that great sacrifice, Princess."_

_ "Drive safe." He waved at her as she shut the door. She ran back to the porch and wiped her wet feet on the mat. This was going to be an interesting experiment. She tiptoed back down the stairs. They'd never had an amicable relationship before. She pulled on a pair of warm socks. This was unfamiliar territory._

Emily's entire bottom lip had disappeared between her teeth. Her eyes were wide.

"Oh, my god!" she finally burst. "This is going to be the _longest_ trip of my whole life!" She pushed the door open and stomped around to get her bag. Casey was slightly amused as she unbuckled her seatbelt to help. "Oh, yeah, you can smirk, missy, because you know what happens after!" Casey shook her head and pushed the trunk hatch back into place.

"It was one for the road, in case you decide you don't want to be friends after your trip."

"Oh, I'm getting the rest of this story whether you like it or not!"

"Okay, but promise me that you'll wait to hear it from me?" Casey swallowed hard. "Please don't go ask your mom about anything." Emily saluted, not taking Casey's request as seriously as it had been given.

"I promise."

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Whatcha think? Any opinions? Leave me a little note and let me know!

P.S. What d'you think of the new format? It's crazy awesome!


	9. Chapter 9

Hello, lovely readers! This July has just breezed on by!

Here is a little aforementioned August present! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... I found two quarters and three pennies in my purse today though...

* * *

Casey knew exactly how this conversation was going to go the second she answered her phone. She should have known better. She had caller ID for a reason. Call screening was very important for safety and security reasons. She almost regretted picking up the call. Almost. But it was a genre of call she'd not had in years.

"I'm still waiting for an explanation here, Miss Secretive-ness." Emily was impatient.

"I have been explaining."

"Well, it's not answering my questions very quickly."

"I'm being efficient ," Casey countered, "so you won't have questions later."

"Oh, I'll have later questions, you can count on it. Now, get yapping."

"Aren't you with your mother looking at dresses?"

"We _were_ until I found an old year book and got all nostalgic over our really dorky outfits. Then my mom goes 'whatever happened to Miss Casey? Last I heard she was running the finance world. Come to think of it, last I heard from next door was that one Christmas and Marti said Derek might be dead somewhere in New York' so I pointed out my excellent choice in prom dresses to distract her and then grandma needed a nap. So, is Derek dead in New York?" She gasped suddenly." Did he abandon you to raise two small children on your own?"

Casey was developing a headache from the velocity at which Emily raced around a conversation. She remembered Emily mentioning New York the first day they ran into each other. "No, Emily, he's not dead in New York."

"And I'm supposed to believe you. I spent years thinking I knew you until your secret life started seeping in. How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Believe me, I'd let you talk to him if he weren't," Casey smiled at the irony, "in New York."

"What!"

"Business trip. Not death."

"Jesus, will you just tell me what happened that Christmas? Why was Marti saying Derek was dead?"

"I promise I'm telling you. Three very important things happened that you need to know before Christmas."

"Great. Three things. What were they?"

"The first time we hung out alone together on purpose, our first kiss, and the fighting that followed."

_Casey moaned, loudly. She'd better have amazing abdomen muscles after all this coughing. She rounded a row of beans. They'd been standing in the muddy market, for over an hour, in the rain._

_ "Hey, I didn't ask you to run out and play in puddles without shoes on, Princess."_

_ "I didn't play in puddles," she croaked out. _

_ "That's right," he said, pausing to line up a shot of a little squash with raindrops on it. "You came out to yell at me." Casey coughed at a tickle in her throat and sniffed. "Was it worth it, Case? Was it worth three doctor's visits and two weeks of coughing?" She glared but was enveloped in another coughing fit that she tried to muffle in the elbow of her coat. He smirked at her. _

_ "If you would just communicate like a normal person, I wouldn't have had to go out and interrogate you." Her voice was gravely. She cleared her throat but it didn't make the sound any better. "So, you should be nicer to me." He laughed. So had her work. Once they knew she wasn't contagious, they set her up in a back room and didn't let her answer the phone. _

_ "Oh, yes, because everything is big, bad Derek's fault, right?"_

_ "You're finally catching on," she mused at him. He smirked again and rolled his eyes. She smiled, too, and immediately had to cough. It hurt to cough now after two weeks of it. _

_ "Come on, tough guy. We can go now before you bust a bronchial tube." Casey looked at him as he unscrewed his lens cap and put the camera away in its little bag. "Yes, I know what a bronchial tube is." He steered her out of the market with his hands stuffed into his jeans. _

_They walked next to each other down the sidewalk . He would bump her with his camera bag to nudge her closer to the street. She just moved closer so he couldn't hit her. She crossed her arms over her chest to hold her lungs together. She sniffed again; she was cold and coughing. In the rain. Derek shook his head at her and herded her toward a deli that sold soup. _

_ "Chicken or beef, Princess?" He shook rain off of his hair and checked the sandwich board again. "Or tomato?"_

_ "Well, I don't like basil, so the tomato is out, and you're allergic to mushrooms so you can't have the beef." She stomped her feet and rubbed her arms for the friction. _

_ "That just ruins all the fun of guessing."_

_ "If you want to die, I'm not stopping you." Casey arched a brow and fought to keep her coughing at bay._

_Derek paid for two bowls of the creamy chicken soup, grabbed spoons, and walked out to his car. Casey followed after composing herself. Derek had paid for her. Without being asked. She stopped coughing outside the restaurant and ran to the car. The rain had picked up and it was getting darker. _

_ "I hope you remembered napkins," she told him, digging through the bag. _

_ "Napkins?"_

_ "Yeah, the things that keep fingers clean? I guess boys don't use them. You and Landon always use your jeans. Or mine." Derek snapped his jaw shut. Casey looked over at him and he was very fixated on the road. "So, no napkins?"_

_ "Why would I remember those?"_

_ "Because you're messy."_

_ "'Gee, thanks, Derek for buying me sustenance and letting me cough up phlegm in your car all evening,'" he mocked her._

_ "You're using a lot of big words today."_

_ "I'm not a complete idiot." He sounded offended. Casey was a little surprised at his harsh tone. The rest of the drive was silent. _

_ "You can come eat inside before you leave, so you don't spill all over your car."_

_ "Because I'm so messy?" he shot back at her, not moving. _

_ "No," Casey coughed twice, "because it's dark and soup is hot." A muscle near his jaw was working hard. "I'll be nice and give you some of the bread Kelsey brought back. And then I'll stop bugging you."_

_ "Fine," he snapped, letting his seatbelt retract violently. _

_Casey eyed him as she sat curled up in her computer chair across the coffee table from him. She had two blankets wrapped around her and her soup in her lap. The warmth of her dinner felt good on her raw throat. Derek ate quickly and angrily from the couch opposite her. She tried small talking at him, but he was unresponsive._

_ "Thanks for feeding me, Derek," she tried. "And for putting up with my coughing." He started at her without really seeing her. His gaze was icy. She went for the more direct method. "Why are you pissed? I was joking about the big word thing."_

_ "Yeah, and I loved hearing how similar your exboyfriend and I are. It's really spirit-lifting." _That's_ what he'd fixated on? "He was an ass to you and treated you like shit. I'm so glad you think we're twins."_

_ "Woah, I was just talking. I don't think you and he are alike at all."_

_ "We just go together so well in sentences?"_

_ "No, I just," she coughed. "You do some things the same, but—"_

_ "He looks like a penis!" Casey wasn't prepared for that outburst and stammered "wwwh" for a few seconds. "Yeah. He looks like a fucking penis." _

_ "Don't use that word. And what? Why do you even think that?"_

_ "He's scrawny and his face, the shape of his perverted head sitting on the rest of him."_

_ "How do you notice something like that?"_

_ "Are you gonna defend him now, Case?"_

_ "No, I just—"_

_ "Think about it. He resembles it just a little too closely." _

_Casey rolled her eyes but humored him. And was disgusted that Derek seemed to be right. "Oh, my God."_

_ "Right?"_

_ "Ew!"_

_ "I am nothing like that dickhead." He was mad again. Casey sighed. _

_ "Derek, I used to think you were similar because of hockey and some of the disagreements, but then the fighting got mean. He eventually was trying to hurt me. You just try to get under my skin and annoy me. You've never been blatantly cruel, Derek. You're nicer." She paused, hoping he was listening to her. "I wasn't grouping you together for any reason other than your gender. Although, with his temper, his species might have altered."_

_She was trying to make him laugh. It didn't work, but when he looked up at her, she shot him an overly sunny smile and he granted her a genuine grin that warmed his eyes. He snorted like he thought she was ridiculous and shook his head. _

_ "Well, I think I'll leave while you're in a good mood," he said, finally, getting to his feet. "Where's Kels?"_

_ "I bribed her into going home. I didn't want her to get sick, too."_

_ "You know you aren't contagious right?"_

_ "You never know," she said, also standing._

_ "So, why am I allowed to be here?"_

_ "I don't care if you get sick."_

_ "Gee, thanks. And we'd had such a nice day." He pulled his jacket back on and ascended the stair with Casey right behind him. _

_ "We did, illness included," she insisted._

_ "Oh, great, so when I get bronchitis, you'll come hang out with me?" _

_Casey pulled a face. "I dunno, Der, you're pretty whiney and gross when you're sick." _

_He laughed at that. It made her feel good to make him laugh. Lighter, in a way. He stepped out onto the porch, the laugh slowly leaving his eyes._

_ "Sorry, I was pissed earlier. I can't fucking stand Landon."_

_ "Don't use that word, Derek."_

_ "Yeah, whatever, Princess." He stomped down the steps._

_ "But I don't like him very much either," Casey finished from the doorway. _

_ "And yet you reference him." Derek turned as he stepped onto the front walkway._

_ "I don't have much more data of normal male behavior," she protested. Derek held out his arms, offended. "You and Ed don't count. I did say 'normal' behavior."_

_ "You wouldn't know normal if it danced naked in front of you, Case," he turned back to his car, shaking his head._

_ "That is the exact opposite of normal, Derek," Casey called after him._

_ "So they would have you believe."_

_ "Drive safe, Der, don't die."_

_ "Yeah, yeah, yeah, fun-sucker." He shut his door and started the engine. _

Emily was quiet for a second.

"And he left? Wow. Nothing like 'the soup was eight bucks and you owe me money for taking you home' at all?"

"Nope."

"Wow," Emily said, after another pause.

"What?" Casey asked.

"You guys were stupid."

"Thank you?"

"You didn't even know you were friends until you isolated each other."

"We were two very selfish kids. And very determined to not get along. So for us, it took extremes."

"Okay, move on, next item."

"Well, I finished my internship a week before school started and went home for a week of summer. And Derek had something to share with the whole house."

_Casey was pissed. They talked all the time and he never mentioned a _thing_. Really, he couldn't have taken the two seconds it takes to slip that into a text? That wasn't the kind of news you just drop on someone. It was also not the type of news you say around a mouthful of masticated pork over dinner._

_She stopped at his door, thought for a minute, and decided to throw caution to the wind. She was mad! She hammered on his bedroom door with a fist until he answered. _

_ "Yes, oh, very loud one?"_

_ "New York? Really?"_

_ "Yeah, the City That Never Sleeps, I'm stoked."_

_ "No, you're stupid." Casey wanted to smack the smirk right off his head. _

_ "Excuse me?" His expression hardened, like he hadn't heard her correctly. _

_ "Dropping out three semesters away from finishing? That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard, Derek! Who told you that this was a good idea?"_

_ "Hey, no one asked you, Princess!" His eyes narrowed. "This is a great opportunity for me, I could have a job doing something I enjoy right now!"_

_ "What happens in three years when they need someone with a degree, with higher credentials than a high school diploma?"_

_ "They want me, now. They know I'm not done with school yet, and they still want me."_

_She squinted at him "Is this about opportunity or being wanted?"_

_ "This has both. That's why it's good. A once-in- a-lifetime type of good."_

_ "It will get you nowhere!" She threw her arms up in frustration._

_ "Because I'm an idiot?" His voice was cool but softer. _

_ "Yes! If you drop out now you are definitely an idiot!"_

_ "I've thought this through, Miss Number Queen, okay? And it makes a lot of fiscal sense right now." Casey's eyebrows rose. "I do listen when you talk sometimes."_

_ "Well, no, you don't because you'd see that in the long run, you'd make so much more with a college—" He cut her off shaking his head. He looked like he wanted to punch something. _

_ "I don't have time for a 'long run,' Case, this is a now or never situation."_

_ "That will screw you over for _life_!" She slapped one hand down on the other for emphasis. "What part about that are you not getting?"_

_ "I'm not a school guy, I can't just hide in a classroom for years while chance like this are begging for me."_

_ "They need a filler at the bottom of their totem pole, Derek. That's how the world works."_

_ "Oh," he was nearly laughing with mirth, "because you know so much about the outside world."_

_ "Don't turn this around on me," she crossed her arms, " you took business courses. You know how it works."_

_ "You know what, that class on taking good risks is coming back a little more clear," he snarled. _

_ "This isn't a good risk! It's just dumb!" She wanted to shake him! Why was he being so blind?_

_ "Well, it's something I gotta do."_

_ "God!" she shrieked. "What are you running from?" She prodded him in the chest. " Do you hate us all that much? I mean, Ed's annoying if you let him get going, and Lizzie's pretty intense. And we just started getting along, but hell, let's throw that out the window, too!"_

_ "I thought this wasn't about you?"_

_ "It's not!" She stomped and clenched her fists. "Arg! Why do you insist on being so stupid?"_

_ "Why? Why do you care?" he roared. "How would this even affect your perfect world? Why would you give a fuck about what I do with my life?"_

_Casey paused, panting, trying to think of her next point. Then 'why' sunk in. She swallowed, hard. Each word slammed into her like a bullet. His eyes blazed, still angry. _

_ "Oh, my god." The words slipped out in the shock of her realization. "I like Derek." It was barely a whisper, but she'd said it out loud. Seconds too late, her hand covered her lips. _

_ "What?" His body language had immediately changed. The furious reverberations his posture had emulated vanished. Casey looked back at his face._

_ "Nothing, I just," she started, lowering her fingers. Her palms were sweaty and she hastily tried to dry them on her jeans. This was not normal. She should have thought about this, but it was already hanging in the air above them. She swallowed again. "I think," she hesitated and then exhaled sharply. "I think I like you," she whispered. This seemed to confuse him further. _

_ "What? What d'you mean? What does that mean?"_

_ "That I like you?"_

_ "Yeah, what is that?" _

_Casey couldn't make her mouth respond. It had other plans; for no reason at all Casey stepped into him and pressed her lips to his. Her stomach jumped into her throat and her feet cemented to his bedroom floor. She pulled back almost immediately, scared as to what would happen next. _

_Derek looked like he had been slapped. His eyes were open wide and his mouth retained an "o," expression. Casey twisted her fingers together. He was going to laugh at her or throw up or something. She heard him draw in a long slow breath and she turned bright red. He looked at her as the silence pressed against them both. _

_ "I'm sorry," she began. "I just- I like you." He didn't move. "And I don't know what you're supposed to do with that information, but…" She trailed off in defeat. She already felt silly enough. She took a step back toward the door and Derek's throat made a weird strangled noise. His facial expression hadn't changed much, apart from his narrowed brows. _

_ "You," he managed, drawing the word out like he was struggling with their structure, "like me?" He looked at her face again as she nodded. He nodded with her but didn't speak again. _

_ "Do you," she squeaked, as he looked around his room in thought, "Do you like me?" She bit her lip, wishing she didn't ask that question. _ Way to put him on the spot, genius,_ she scolded herself. _

_ "Well, yeah, obviously," he said, crossing his arms. It took Casey a second to realize that that meant yes. _

_ "Re-yeah?" Derek chewed his tongue and nodded again. She relaxed and they both looked away, laughing a little."So, uhm, what now?" He gave her a slow, genuine smile and shrugged. _

"What? What was 'now?'" Emily whined.

"We were like kids; we'd hold hands and blush. He'd tease me and get on my nerves, but let himself be sweet, too. It was precious."

"Then you fought."

"Of course we did. It's what we do."

"When? Why?"

"I got scarred. Terrified. And stupid."

* * *

What's gonna happen? 5,000 points to whoever guesses correctly!

Reviews are much appreciated. I love hearing thoughts (preferably others')

Does anyone else do stupid things when their scared? Anyone ever think they are too smart for their own good, analytically speaking? Does anyone else actually read these? I have often found amusing anecdotes in the A/Ns... :)


	10. Chapter 10

Hellooo happy readers! Fall is upon us! How fast has this summer gone?

5,000 points to Sunshine-Midnight123 and LoveMeant2BE! Guessing is exciting!

Here is 10! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I disclaim! I don't own anything televised or even cliffnotes... it's a sad day...

* * *

Casey felt very accomplished. She'd done laundry, stuck dough in her bread maker, unloaded a dishwasher, found her son's missing stuffed zebra, and planned meals for the week with color coded recipe cards that organized the preparation and cooking times in accordance with how much time she would have after work. It was very efficient. And this was all done while coddling a delicate friendship.

Casey could tell Emily was impatient. She was trying to absorb everything and fight how offended she was that Casey hadn't told her. She wanted the whole story, but was having a hard time hearing the whole thing, because maybe their significance wasn't apparent. Maybe she should have given Emily some Cliffnotes or a general synopsis. Casey wanted Emily to understand her. Needed her desperately to get why it was this way. Because friendship was a valuable thing that she had a harder time convincing herself she deserved.

Even sitting quietly as Emily picked through her house to a new private spot to chat, Casey felt elated and relieved that Emily hadn't written her off as insane yet. As some people in her life were wont to do. Casey shook her head of that and waited. Finally settling on a solid question, Emily interrupted the silence that had enveloped the phone line.

"Okay, so, if everything was coming up roses, what made you fight?"

"Oh, everything! We were still the same people; the fighting would never be over for good. God, we still fight! We had just added in sporadic kissing moments to our habitual interactions."

"Okay, so, why didn't you tell anyone?" Casey gave Emily a look, even if she couldn't see her. Casey would have thought that this was the question that most explained itself.

"It's not exactly the type of thing one boasts about. He was very off-limits. And I'm a limit type of girl. But it was an addiction. I didn't try to think about anything outside the two of us, and instead thought of how to keep more of him to myself." Emily made a noise that sounded both confused and sympathetic. Years of crushing on Derek must have familiarized her with the feeling.

"I feel so stupid. I should have seen this coming. Instead I went on and on about him."

"No, it's okay!" Casey assured her. "I worried that all of my stories suddenly involved him."

"You just never said anything."

"We didn't say anything to anyone. And it wasn't like we were lying to people about it," Emily pulled a face, "we just didn't say anything. We didn't not tell people, if that makes sense." Casey listened as Emily was quiet for a second, making only small tutting noises. Casey didn't voice her own suspicion, in the event that Emily took it as a lie as well. For a while, she thought that maybe neither of them said anything because they both knew that their relationship had potential. A sort of kinetic energy that could create a physical element in their affair somewhere down the line. .

She swallowed that thought, but shared another. The reason she'd fed herself when her conscience would send up red flags. "I thought it wouldn't matter. In the long run. I wasn't the type of girl he usually went for, and he had a track record. He'd date someone for a while, and then get bored or annoyed, and move on. I'd taken this as evidence and drew the conclusion that this was a phase; something we had to get out of our systems. It eventually wouldn't matter."

"And how did that work out?"

"Not well."

"Did you yell at him?"

"Yes. But I didn't know how much of it was anger directed at him and how much was anger at myself."

"Wow. It must have been a really bad fight to be this important."

"My logic caught up with my hormones. I thought about it. And kept thinking. And then started to feel guilty."

"Guilty? All of a sudden? I don't buy that. What happened?"

"My mother asked about my personal life. She wanted to set me up with someone."

"Uh-oh."

"So, I took the guilt of not saying anything to her out on him."

_Casey shoved past Derek into the living room of his apartment. It smelled like boys; food, hockey, cologne. But luck was on her side, and it didn't look like his roommate was home. Derek looked confused as he shut the door and turned to her. _

_ "Are we dating?" she asked, her hands on her hips, too caught up to use the customary greeting. She stood in the middle of the rug, between Derek and a coffee table, waiting. _

_ "What?" Derek looked taken aback by the subject, obviously not expecting that type of question._

_ "Are we dating? Is that what we're doing?" She gestured between them. _

_ "Why? Did Kelsey let you have your label-maker back?" He crossed his arms over his chest as his eyebrows narrowed. _

_He didn't like labels and definitions. He'd told Casey they were what they were. Which really didn't mean anything. She wasn't putting up with that nonsense any longer. _

_ "No, but I want to know." He looked at her for a long moment, but she didn't break his gaze. She was poised to do battle. Then he shrugged._

_ "I dunno." _

_ "You don't know?"_

_ "Nah," he shook his head, his arms still crossed, "never really thought about it."_

_ "You haven't thought about it?"_

_ "Not really. Is there an echo in here, or something?" _

_ "Derek," she started, not really sure where she wanted to go with her thought. She knew she was freaking out. Her mother was obviously trying to help her, but had nearly given her a myocardial infarction when she mentioned her dating life. Or apparent lack thereof. _

_It was what she couldn't tell her mother that about killed her. The stolen kisses and date nights seemed harmless, except when they collided with the big picture and Casey saw how selfish they had been. _

_But her one week of summer and the first month of the term had been surreal. They made time for each other and he'd held her hand on campus. It had been weeks of making out then fighting, or going to a movie then fighting and then making out, or studying then making out then taking a walk and then fighting. It was weirdly comfortable and she thoroughly enjoyed his company. Craved it, really. _

_She looked around his apartment. Boxes were stacked up near the door to his bedroom. He was packing. He was going to New York anyway. So this conversation didn't even matter. He was leaving. And she was an adult; she could do what she wanted. _

_She ran a hand through her hair, and Derek stepped closer._

_ "What's up?" He put his hands on her arms and looked at her. _

_ "It's just my mom and-"_

_ "Can I distract you?"_

_ "What?" Derek stepped into her and, before she could protest, he had pressed his mouth to hers. He was a fabulous kisser. Every time, she felt lightheaded and rooted to the spot; she couldn't have moved if she wanted to. And she didn't. She wanted to stay put and not think. Her body moved into his without her permission. Then she heard her mother in her mind and immediately moved away. Derek looked more confused than anything else as he watched her plop onto the couch._

_ "Okay, now what's up?" He walked toward her._

_ "I can't. I can't do this anymore."_

_ "What? B&Es? I'd say that is a solid career move, Princess. You're a tad chatty." _

_ "No, God, Derek. This. With you? I can't keep," she shoved her hair out of her face. This was not going to go well. "Doing this. We're lying. We're lying to each other, I'm lying to my mother, to our family, and you're still leaving, Der." She looked up at him and immediately wished she hadn't. He looked perplexed and pained as he sat next to her, trying to follow her line of thought. _

_ "Case, we knew I was leaving from the beginning."_

_ "So, what have we been doing then? Just biding our time? Waiting for the next thrill to come along?" Derek flinched. She knew she was being unfair. But she was terrified. What if her infatuation with him was more than that? If their relationship got any more serious, they would probably have to start telling people. And this wasn't a relationship where that would be easy. It was more like something to hide away and pretend never happened. "Are we just messing around for something to do?" Derek vaulted off the couch._

_ "No, Casey, God! I'm not biding my time with you, or using you because I'm bored, Jesus Christ! Is that what you're doing with me? Because then maybe New York isn't far enough away!"_

_Casey stood, too. He didn't get to yell down at her. "Then what are we doing, Derek?" She jabbed a finger into his chest. "My mom keeps trying to set me up and I can't exactly tell her why I feel like I can't go because we're supposed to be related—"_

_ "We're not related—"_

_ "I'm not saying that's how it turned out, but we are _supposed_ to be related according to normal society—"_

_ "Fuck society—" He moved around the table so they were yelling over it. _

_ "Don't _use_ that word, Derek," she scolded. He wasn't listening to her. And they were getting louder. Casey prayed the neighbors were out. _

_ "I don't give a fuck about 'supposed to be's,' Case." His voice was softer, but no warmer. _

_ "Derek," she reprimanded again, almost a warning._

_ "I like being happy, and, right now, that kind of involves you."_

_ "Right now?" she shrieked. _

_ "Seriously? That's what you pick out of what I said?" _

_ "Yes! Derek, I can't do this for a 'right now' kind of ending. There's too much as stake between us. Our family, our friends—" She blinked back angry tears._

_ "I don't care about—"_

_ "But I do, Derek." Tears escaped her eyelashes. "I still need that kind of comfort, that kind of support. We need to give this up. We can't," she struggled to find the right word, "see each other. Socially. Anymore."_

_ "Fuck me," Derek mumbled, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "So, you're just going to leave it there?"_

_ "We have to," she said, keeping her voice solid. She used her fingers to wipe at her cheeks. _

_ "If this is one of your games, Princess, I'm not playing. I'm not Sam or Max or whoever else you ran with in high school. This is it."_

_Casey took a deep, steadying breath. She was offended, but was going to win. She was going to be the bigger person and do what was right. "I know."_

_He stepped away from her, his posture defeated. "Fine, Casey. You'll feel like shit later, but go do what you want." _

_ "I plan on it," she bit back, angry that he appeared so calm. "Knowing you, you'll do the same," she pulled the door open, "good luck in the States, Der," and slammed it closed behind her. The idea that he could easily replace her overwhelmed her for a moment. It stung; a sharp, hot pain. A loud crash brought her back to the hallway. She heard Derek yell behind the door, and practically ran from his apartment. _

"Holy crap," Emily breathed.

"Yeah," Casey winced, "I was mean."

"No kidding, I mean, this explains Christmas more than you telling me about Christmas ever could. God, he was such an asshole that night."

"Yeah, he does that."

"The asshole thing?"

"No, the 'take my feelings out on everyone' thing."

"You weren't much better, missy."

"What?"

"Oh, come on, the screaming and the crying. Drama, drama, drama! That night had more going on than a bad assassin movie!"

"Yes. Yes, I remember well. I hadn't seen how much we'd adapted to each other."

"What, like in your 'natural habitats?'" Casey rolled her eyes.

"The boy took me to see film festival movies, for goodness sake!"

"Okay, yeah, that's a little," there was a pause over the line, "unexpected."

"As was the realization that he might have been right. Which was hard enough to fathom, so his behavior didn't help."

"God, he was horrible, but now we know why." Emily was quiet. "You broke his heart."

* * *

And there you have it, folks! We're into double digits! Let me know what you think!

Let's say 1,000 points to guessers about Christmas? Who doesn't love the holidays!? :)


	11. Chapter 11

Helloooo readers! Happy September! I hope everyone is having a lovely fall!

I had oodles of fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy it!

Shout out to LoveMeant2BE for partaking in my guessing game! 1,000 points!

Disclaimer: Hahahah. I just paid tuition. I literally can't afford coffee.

* * *

Casey blushed. She never had thought of herself as a heartbreaker. At the time, she'd believed she was doing the right thing. For both of them. She'd been hurt, too. Cut off from the source of her addiction before she was ready.

Emily was quite on the line for a moment. "It just all makes sense," she muttered, more to herself. Casey bit the inside of her bottom lip.

"I didn't break his heart," she tried. Emily made a noise conveying she didn't buy it . "I didn't!"

"Honey, you stomped all over that thing." Casey winced. She agreed that she could have been more delicate, but Derek wasn't the only one who had gotten hurt.

"Okay," she conceded, "maybe I wasn't as sensitive as I should have been, but Derek was harsh on me, too."

"You two are impossible."

"That's exactly what I thought."

Emily was quiet again. "Hmm," she mused. "So, what made Christmas so dramatic?" Casey smiled. "I know I was there for about six minutes of it, but that is the last anyone ever heard of you."

"We tried to clear the air." Emily squeaked.

"Yes, I do hear that screaming the air clean is quite effective."

_Canadian winters are relaxing. The snow makes everything more quiet and cozy. And winter brings Christmas. Good food, good conversation, and quality time with family and friends; happiness._

_Derek coming home for Christmas was not her version of happiness. He'd stayed away all fall and didn't even come home for Thanksgiving. Which, her mother reminded her, was a month later in the states. Whatever. While she and Derek had managed one civil conversation via text message, she really didn't want to spend "happy family time" with him. And knowing where to ship his snow boots may not have qualified as a conversation anyway. He still made her angry. She had planned much of her time out of the house for the holiday. It wasn't avoiding, it was being busy. If she didn't have to see him at all that was a bonus. _

_ Unfortunately, Emily wasn't keen on the "avoid people" plan. Casey knew the only reason she was even at this party was for Emily and her nostalgia. They could have gone to that movie, but Emily had begged. Casey had conceded, but was having no fun at all. Zero. Zero fun. Sure, she'd thought seeing some people from high school would be fun, but jocks knew how to drink. By the time she and Emily had graced the scene, it was a mellow affair of people crowding to find seats, reminiscing over this event or that, and arguing over what to eat. The din of the music and chatter was perfect background noise. And then she had spotted Derek. Perfect. _

_ He'd made a couple comments about school and how New York was amazing. He spoke at length about the people he was meeting and places he was experiencing. And he was extremely rude to Casey. She wasn't sure who he was punishing; her or himself. He looked like he was drinking too fast for his own good, but he sneered at her when she suggested a glass of water instead of another beer, so she gave up. _

_ "Are you fighting?" Emily asked by way of greeting, as she joined Casey at the bar later. She must have had enough mingling. Casey looked around her for someone she might be fighting with. _

_ "I haven't spoken to anyone here but you, Em."_

_ "No, not here, God. Derek. He's been in a rotten mood all night and you're over here pouting at the bar." She eyed Casey. "What're you fighting about? He didn't put pudding in your bra drawer or something, did he?"_

_ "God, I hope not," Casey grumbled. "Although, maybe mom and George would let me kill him if he did." _

_ "What? Are you okay?"_

_Casey rubbed her forehead. "Yeah, just a rough holiday season."_

_ "Tell me about it. My parents were all 'so, when do you get a job and move out?' like people are just handing out jobs like free t-shirts. Anyway-" Emily cut herself off as Casey clutched her arm tightly. "What?" _

_Casey didn't answer directly. She held onto Emily and stared toward the entrance of the bar. "Shit." Of course he was here. Of course. Truman French wouldn't pass up an opportunity to feel superior with the reward of mostly free alcoholic beverages. Casey felt the urge to cuss more, but she fought it. She wasn't Derek and she didn't use that word._

_ "Oh, Jesus," Emily groaned. "Is every asshat showing up tonight?" _

_Casey downed the rest of her drink and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. This was not her week. _

_She planned on escaping by means of the washroom, but Truman spotted her standing next to Emily and her extremely sparkly top. He gave her a nod, said something to the groupies behind him that made them laugh, and sauntered over. _

_ "Hey, baby," he said in what Casey guessed was his intoxicated version of a sultry voice. _

_ "Really?" she cocked an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. Emily snorted and patted Casey's arm as she walked away. Casey could take him._

_ "Miss me?"_

_Casey laughed once. "You have no idea, do you?"_

_ "Told you I still got it," he threw over his shoulder. His entourage snorted and chortled. _

_ "Right. Nice to see you, Tru," she flashed him a tight, fake smile and walked off. _

_ "Was she the one that purred or the one that let you take it in a hot tub?" _

_Casey froze. He couldn't possibly be that cruel. Truman's group spoke in what was meant to be conceived as a private tone, but it was loud enough to be heard over the dim of the music and chatter. _

_ "Hot tub, man. It was a fan-fucking-tastic."_

_Truman was even more of a monster than Casey could handle. He was really going share their former sex life with a full bar? God, and he had told his circle already. Casey had never come to terms with that night. And it was haunting her now. _

_ "She seems too uptight to let you have it in a hot tub."_

_ "Well, she can be a real bitch, but I got there first. It was a fucking miracle," Truman looked right at Casey, "but I owned that." _

_ "You know what, French, you are really pissing me off." Derek stood up from a booth behind Truman. Casey had taken a step toward the bar but stalled again when she heard Derek. She hadn't known he was that close. _

_ "Yeah, Venturi? Because that's a really big concern of mine."_

_ "It should be, you asshole." Derek's jaw was clenched, but his voice was eerily calm._

_ "Nice smack talk, D, you learn that in your fancy college classes?" Truman got to his feet as well and crossed his arms over his chest. _

_ "Now, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? No school let you in." _

_ "No, my mommy and daddy couldn't buy me a degree like your happy family." _

_ "Aw, Tru, you forget that just because you don't have any talents, doesn't mean that other people can't." _

_ "Is that what they call dropping out, now?"_

_ "I wouldn't know, I've never dropped out." Casey didn't understand why Derek would bother lying. She had watched him drop out. Drop out and move away. "I do have talents and am smart enough to get what I want." He looked pointedly at thug-looking kid near the wall. "There are Universities in the States, too. But that involves a bunch of technical crap that you probably couldn't follow anyway."_

_ "Did you want something, Venturi? Or are you just here to be an ass?" _

_ "Oh, yeah," Derek said, as if he just remembered, "I came to tell you what happens when people piss me off."_

_ "I'm all ears." _

_ "Well, now I'm all talked out, so maybe I'll just show you." And Derek punched him right in the face; hard enough to send him reeling back into the table behind him. There was a chorus of 'oh my god' and 'woah' and 'what the hell, man' from the table before they started moving in defense. "That's why you're supposed to be nice to women, ass-wipe," Derek shouted at Truman, flexing his punching fist. Before Casey could convince her feet to move, a full on fight broke._

_Derek ducked Truman's attempt to clock him without really moving but took one to the side of the head from a Truman thug. A rather large kid in a baseball cap sided with Derek and pinned the puncher's arms and pulled him away. A few others scuffled with the groupies, making quite a scene. Casey dodged an elbow and ducked out of the way. Truman kicked Derek in the stomach. Derek doubled over, but managed to push Truman to the ground. Casey came to her senses when she saw Derek raise his fist again and the barkeep pick up the phone. She launched herself off the wall she was leaning against, and put her hand on Derek's other arm._

_ "Derek, don't hit him." _

_ "Why not? He wants to put people down, let's see how tough he is when they fight back!" _

_ "Derek," she tugged on his arm again as the manager walked towards them. "Come on." _

_He pointed threateningly at Truman, who looked bewildered by the exchange he just witnessed as he bled profusely from his nose and lip. _

_Derek let Casey drag him out of the bar, into the cold, and down the street to avoid any further confrontation._

_ "Jesus, Case, pull my arm off, why don't you?"_

_ "Shut up, Derek," she ordered, releasing his arm. He rubbed his hand and looked up at her. Their breath hung in misty clouds over them. "What the hell was that?" she demanded._

_ "He was being a dick." _

_ "I know that. What made it your personal mission to rectify that?"_

_ "Because the little fucker was being a dick to you!" _

_ "Derek."_

_ "Sorry! About the fucker word." He sat down on the curb in the snow and shook his hand out. His knuckles were going to bruise. Casey huffed. She didn't even care that she was freezing. At least she'd had the good sense to keep her scarf._

_ "I can handle myself."_

_ "Yeah, you were doing a great job, Princess."_

_ "I still don't think you had to hit him," she grumbled, crossing her arms. She wished she'd remembered her jacket._

_ "Well, sorry I didn't run that by you, Casey."_

_He propped his elbows up on his knees and pushed his palms through his hair. She shifted her weight and the snow crunched under her boots. There was quite for a minute and Casey considered leaving. _

_ "I kissed Emily." Derek pushed the words out, like he thought she'd hit him. But she didn't move. Couldn't. A sluggish, hot pain developed in her throat and lodged itself tightly behind her right lung. She swallowed._

_ "Okay." She kept her voice even and neutral. _

_ "Just so you don't scream at me for not telling you."_

_ "Okay," she said again. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. He dropped his arms over his knees. _

_ "I don't-" he started, and stopped. Casey was wishing she'd left earlier. She didn't need him parading how easily she was replaced. She was already miserably cold. "She's probably pissed at me and will complain to you, so I thought you should hear it from me."_

_ "How considerate of you," she managed, biting back her sarcasm. She fought the urge to shiver or cross her arms. She wracked her brain for a graceful exit that wouldn't make her feel even more stupid. "Speaking of which, I should collect my designated drivees." _

_ "Yeah," he agreed, standing up. "Responsibility rears its ugly head." He brushed off of his jeans. _

_Casey sighed and shook snow out of her bangs. She just wanted to be home. No. Not home. Just not here. " Have a good night, Derek. Don't die." She turned, fished out her cell, and adjusted the strap of her purse._

_ "Yeah." His voice was quiet, but she could hear him just before Emily answered her call. _

_ "Oh, my God, Casey, I'm standing out on a curb in the middle of winter!" Emily's voice came out too loud. "That was crazy!"_

_ "I know, Em, I'm sorry."_

_ "What? Why? That was epic; I mean Nolan's date got punched in the back which was unfortunate, but that was crazy! We got kicked out."_

_ "Yeah, I had a feeling." _

_ "They were saying Derek beat up three guys."_

_ "No, just Truman."_

_ "Dammit. Well, I'm telling people it was three."_

_ "He won't stop you."_

_ "Where did he go anyway? He was such a grouch, I didn't think he'd pull himself out of that bottle."_

_ "He did," Casey said, looking back at him sitting on the curb again. He probably didn't notice that he was sitting in half frozen snow. "He's out behind the bar."_

_ "Oh, gross. Okay, well, I'm ready when you are!" she chirped, waving as Casey rounded the building. "I got the coats."_

"Oh, my god," Emily whispered. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"Yeah, I might have been able to guess from the casual way you were babbling about him in the car." Casey smirked a little.

"I was trying to be subtle. It would have gone better if you'd been as inhibited by alcohol as I was," Emily pouted. "Did that start the screaming?"

"No, Derek was completely in charge of that."

_ "I think gin makes people a little friendly," Emily said, happily from the passenger seat. Casey nodded. "Or maybe it's just drinking in general."_

_ "That's probably true. I think Amy pet me three different times."_

_ "Oh, yeah! That's who that was! I was all 'woah, babe' when she did it to me."_

_ "She did it to everyone."_

_ "Well, no, because Derek about took her head off when she tried. He ended up shoving some guy. Which was weird because he was social before that. I mean, not petting friendly, obviously, but just a normal Derek-party friendly." Casey smiled at Emily's rambling. "You know, minus that whole punching thing. And the hour long pout. What do you think that was up with that?" Casey shook her head. "Because when we first got there, he chatted and held my hand and put his arm around me and hugged that one chick from Civics. He even shook Max's hand." She pulled the mirror down and checked her eyeliner._

_Casey's chest was tight. It had tightened with every mention of Derek touching Emily. And she was embarrassed that it was killing her. Because this was her fault. And he could touch whomever he wanted. _

_ "Did you know he has abs? Like real ones? I mean, he wasn't fat or anything in high school, but that boy's built some muscle," Emily continued as she flipped the mirror away. "It's kinda sad we decided not to try though college. Queens or New York did him some good. Except for, you know, what he was born with. Like his freakishly lovely long eyelashes. Is he even allowed to have those?"_

_Casey couldn't answer. Her throat was thick and she quickly brushed at her left cheek. She didn't want to cry now. But Emily wasn't helping. She took a slow breath in, held it for a second, and slowly let it out. She wiped her right cheek with her knuckle as she pulled up in front of their houses._

_ "Thanks for the ride, Case. I'm so glad you came with me," Emily pushed her door open and let the cold winter air sweep the car. "Love you. Merry Christmas." Casey waved and shot her a quick smile. The door closed and Casey waited for the heater to battle December in Canada. Emily blew her a kiss as her let herself into her house. And Casey broke down. _

_She hunched over, her forehead on her mother's steering wheel. Her body was wracked with huge silent sobs. She couldn't hold back. The hole in her chest caved in and she cried. She'd ruined it. Everything. Sure, they'd said nasty thing to each other before, but this was different. She knew it was her fault. And even if it was the right thing to do, it hurt. More than she could have ever expected. _

_Finally, she sucked in a few, halting breaths and put the car back in drive. She hiccupped as she parked and gathered her purse. _

_ "How was the party, Case?" Lizzie perked up as Casey entered the house. She sat cross-legged on the couch under her laptop and a few text books. _

_ "Oh, you know," she shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. Liz gave her a weird look as she headed for the stairs. Edwin came out with a plate of toast and also gave her a funny look. He and Liz exchanged a stare before Lizzie shrugged. Casey ignored them and climbed the steps, away from their chatter._

_She shut and locked her bedroom door. She leaned against her dresser, willing her heart to beat normally. Her cheeks and nose were blotchy. She wiped her face with her hands. Why was she still crying? It wasn't like he or Emily did this _to_ her. She unwound her scarf and shimmied out of her coat. This was stupid. She rubbed her smudged makeup off with her fingers. So what, he kissed Emily? He'd done it before. She was still uncomfortable then, but this was worse. She knew both logically and conceptually that he wasn't property, hers or otherwise. But her addiction to him made her sick at the thought of him with anyone else. Before or after her. _

_She nearly jumped out of her skin when her bedroom door slammed against her wall. Derek tumbled in and steadied himself with her bed._

_ "Oh, you are crying," he said, straightening. _

_ "What was that?" she yelled at him. _

_ "It was locked," he shrugged, as if that was a reason enough._

_ "For a reason, Derek!"she knew she was too loud._

_ "Jesus, Princess, Liz told me that you were upset and already yelled at me!"_

_ "Great, you've hit you're quota, I guess you can go to bed." _

_"This is what I get for trying to be nice!"  
_

_"So, why even bother, right?"  
_

_ "What's your problem?"_

_ "My problem? You, Derek," she yelled, poking him in the chest. "You are my problem!" Tears began to blur her vision._

_"Woah, hold on, how is this already _my _fault?"_

_"Who said you got to be right over me?"  
_

_ "What the hell, Casey?" he backed away. "What are you taking about?" She sat heavily on her mattress and let the tears fall._

_ "I don't know what you did, but you were right."_

_ "What?" he dropped his hands and sounded calmer._

_ "You told me I'd regret what I said to you. And," she choked as she tried to inhale and coughed. "And, your ego will be happy to know, you were right. I am miserable. And can't believe you were right."_

_ "What? Case," he looked extremely confused and sat next to her on the bed."I didn't even-I thought you changed your mind."_

_ "What?" It was Casey's turn to be confused. "Changed my mind?"_

_ "I thought you didn't care anymore."_

_ "Of course, I care Derek! I care that you were so calm! I care that you moved to New York! I care that you kissed Emily!" She sniffed. Her nose was starting to run. "I care that I might be half in love with someone who seems so ready to forget me!" She dropped her head into her hands. _

_ "Case," his voice was soft and he put a hand on her back. "Casey, I didn't know." He leaned closer to her. "I just needed you to still care. I just wanted a chance, Princess."_

_ "It wasn't a game, I swear. I'm not playing." She clutched at his arm, needing him to believe her. _

_ "I don't care, Case, I don't care." He brushed a tear away with his thumb. "I just care that you came back." She looked up at him._

_ "You're the one that left; I didn't go anywhere."_

_He rolled his eyes and cupped her face. "To me, Princess. That you came back to me." And then he kissed her. _

"Wow," Emily moaned out. "I had no idea. I so should have seen this coming!"

Casey switched ears again. "It just happened. I was sure I destroyed anything we had. And he took a chance on me."

"I'm so embarrassed about that night. Thanks for explaining the shouting, though."

Casey laughed. Emily had called making sure everything was okay. She'd heard them from her room.

"We forget other people can hear shouting even if we can't hear them." Emily laughed.

"So, what happened?" Emily asked, eagerly. Casey smiled.

"We decided to try to be together. We knew it was going to be hard. Especially when he went back to the states."

"What? He was going back?" Casey heard someone call Emily's name on her end of the call. "Oh, grandma's awake!" Emily informed Casey. "Off to more dresses!"

"Let me know when you're back!"

"I will. I expect to know why no one knows anything about you."

* * *

Like Casey could pull off super spy.

And we're in to the "tween" chapters! Hooray!

And any guesses about what's to come? I mean, how well does long-distance work? Reward of 2,000 points! :)


	12. Chapter 12

Finally! Phewf! That took a jillion years.

Thank you to my AMAZING reviewers! I love hearing from people, it makes my whole day! Especially when sound effects are substituted for words! :)

Anyway, Happy October! It's raining like it's monsoon season or something already. It has made for excellent writing weather. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. And Christmas is two and a bit months away. Dear Santa...

* * *

Casey snatched her purse off of her passenger seat. She was late. It wasn't even a lateness that she could control, but it still made her panic as she clicked across the parking lot in heels. She hated being late.

Emily was at a small table, reading a book. Small headphone wires draped over the table and into her pocket. Casey handed a bill behind the counter and hurried over.

"I am so sorry," she gushed, pulling out a chair and sitting. "I got out ten minutes ago, and I thought we were getting out an hour before that, so my buffer time was gone," Casey trailed off, trying to gather her thoughts. Emily smiled as she wrapped up her headphones.

"Don't even worry about it," she said, waving a hand. "I am in the middle of a really good book so I was happy to have a moment to indulge."

Casey relaxed slightly, still feeling anxious that she was so late. The barista brought over her tea and took Emily's empty mug. Casey brushed her bangs out of her eyes and fixed her drink.

"You're rather dressed up today," Emily noted, nodding toward Casey's heels.

"What? Oh," Casey looked herself over. She'd kept on the smart, black pencil-skirt suit and the white blouse in addition to her heels. She plucked at her small pearl necklace; she had been going for professional and sophisticated. "Yeah, we were at court this morning and I didn't have time to run home and change."

"Court?" Emily arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, just downtown," Casey nodded, sipping her tea, trying to sound relaxed. She hadn't meant to mention that. "Very time consuming. Like waiting for a license through MTO."

Emily laughed. "That would be a hard feat to accomplish," she chuckled, accepting another coffee from the server.

"How was your dress hunting?" Casey inquired, hastily changing the subject.

"Also a feat hard to accomplish," Emily smiled, stirring artificial sweetener into her mug. "My mother and I don't agree on anything, style-wise, and my grandmother hated waiting for me to try the different dresses on and would doze off every once in a while. It was all very exciting." Emily rolled her eyes.

"Any success?" Emily's smile brightened. She giggled a little bit and Casey grinned.

"Oh, the perfect success! My mother was tough to convince, but it is so beautiful. You have to come see it when it comes. I love it. It," she beamed, "it is so perfect."

"I'm so happy for you!" Emily's smiling was contagious. Casey giggled as Emily gushed and mimicked exactly how her dress looked and felt.

Finally, Emily sighed, still smiling brightly. She gave a little, happy shake of her shoulders and took a sip of coffee, looking directly at Casey. Casey's eyes widened in confusion at the weird gesture and she raised her eyebrows at Emily.

"Yes?"

"What was your dress like?" Emily asked in a rush, biting her bottom lip between her teeth. Casey sighed. They were back on her. Great. For a bride-to-be, Emily was remarkably interested in other people. Mainly Casey.

"Nothing like yours, Em," Casey told her, hoping that that would suffice as an answer and would get Emily to focus back on her own wedding.

"How so? What was it? Did it have straps? A really long train? Oh! Sequins? You always liked sparkly things in high school." Emily scooted closer to the table.

"It wasn't anything special," Casey insisted, waving her hand. Emily groaned.

"Caaaaseeeeeyyyy," she whined heavily. "Why are you so secretive? We've been over this. I _will_ know everything, whether you tell me or not. I'll ask and poke and prod and annoy until I get why you cut me out."

"I didn't cut—" Casey started, but Emily plowed ahead.

"Because I told you every detail and thought we were going to be friends for the rest of our lives and then I find out I know nothing. Nothing! So, keep talking, missy; we're not done here."

Casey stared at Emily for a second; trying to gauge how serious her threat was about bringing it up to other people. If she were mad enough, she probably would carry that out, which Casey couldn't endure. Not now. Not again.

"Okay," Casey sighed, giving up, "Where were we?"

"Christmas. Yelling. Well, and kissing, apparently." Emily cocked an eyebrow at Casey with a little crooked smile.

"Okay," Casey said again. "Well, we were both still home for the holiday break, but we also were still both in school. We had a limited amount of time to spend together, so we got creative."

_She huddled closer to Derek's side. It was snowing again, but she didn't care. He still wanted her. And he was here, holding her hand. He pressed his lips against her temple. He'd promised they would work something out. Anything she wanted, just so they could be together. Even though he was leaving again. Soon. _

_ "What?" he asked, when she stiffened. She sniffed at the cold and shook her head. "Come on, Princess. What?"_

_ "Why are you going back?"_

_ "Back?"_

_ "To New York."_

_ "To New York," he repeated. "Because that's where my stuff is." He smiled at her. She pursed her lips. Sure, he could joke. She tried not to smile and pressed the issue. "That's where I have a job, Case," he reasoned. A job and a lot of people she didn't know. It wasn't like at school where they knew a couple of the same people; he was in a different country. Then she remembered something and sat up._

_ "Der?"_

_ "Hm?"_

_ "Why did you tell Truman that you've never dropped out?"_

_ "Why are you worrying about that shit-head?"_

_ "Don't use that word."_

_ "It's just his personal adjective," he smirked, amused._

_ "Derek," Casey urged. He pushed a breath out._

_ "Fine," he looked at her, "Because I haven't."_

_ "What are you talking about? I was there; I witnessed it; I watched you turn in your paperwork." He smirked at her again. "What?"_

_ "You're just all-knowing, eh, Princess?"_

_ "What do you mean?" she smacked his chest and his coat puffed air at his face. _

_ "Okay! Remember Coach Brian?"_

_ "Who?"_

_ "My coach at Queens? Remember how he left about this time last season?"_

_ "No," Casey said slowly, trying to draw relevance. For all she knew, the same man with his scrunched little face was still yelling at the hockey team, with or without Derek._

_ "Not the main guy, but the play coordinator?" Casey was not following him. She had no idea there was more than one coach. "Anyway, he had a paying position and wanted to know if I'd come down and help him run his first team. So, I did."_

_ "What?"_

_ "He offered me a job where he's teaching."_

_ "How does you getting a job equal you not dropping out?"_

_ "I transferred, Casey."_

_ "What do you mean?"_

_ "I transferred. I was able to get a bunch of my credits to count at the school down there and I already needed an extra semester, I figured I might as well take the whole fifth year."_

_ "And you're getting paid?"_

_ "Yeah, and since I work for the school, tuition isn't that bad."_

_Casey stared at him blankly for a second before flinging her arms around him, nearly knocking them both into the snow._

_ "You are so smart," she exclaimed into his cheek. _

_ "I keep telling you but you never listen," he shook his head at her._

_ "Why didn't you tell me?"_

_ "Tell you what?"_

_ "That you weren't just dropping out? You let me yell at you."_

_ "Yeah," he shrugged. "I dunno. I just had to make sure it wasn't too good to be true. I wanted it to work. I needed to prove to myself that I could make good decisions and things got," he made a flashing gesture with his fingers, "loud." She nodded, conceded to that. They were very good at being loud. Except right now. _

_They knew their time was fleeting . He had to leave, but Casey didn't want him to leave _her_. Even if he was leaving the country. They took to stealing moments together out of the house as often as they could, hoping no one was watching or wondering where they were. _

_ "Wanna go in?" Derek asked, bumping her shoulder with his. "I'm freezing my ass off out here." She arched a brow at him. The wooded park they'd chosen today was mostly abandoned because of the snow and the wind. They had the place to themselves. They had given up on walking around and retired to a bench after nearly stepping on a very dead, mostly frozen squirrel. Nature._

_ "Yeah," Casey decided, rubbing her legs, "Let's go back. Your lips are purple."_

_ "That's because you're doing a bad job of warming them up," he pouted. Casey rolled her eyes but leaned over and pushed her cold lips to his. Her stomach fluttered as his frozen fingers brushed her face and hair. He was enthusiastic and nearly pushed her down into the slush. She yelped and pulled away before she became a part of a snow bank. He smiled at her and pulled her to her feet before kissing her again, grinning against her mouth. She put her palms against his chest to steady herself as he moved back. He was smirking again._

_ "What?" Casey adjusted her hat. She knew that look. Derek shook his head, but his lips twitched. "What is it?" she whined. _

_ "That's just how I know I'm doing a good job," he said, slinging his arm around her shoulders as they walked slowly out of the park._

_ "What is?"_

_ "That noise."_

_ "What noise?"_

_ "That noise you just made."_

_ "What?"_

_ "That little sigh you gave me," he smiled; his entire face lighting up, "It means I am awesome." He was gloating; feeling extremely proud of himself. Casey shook her head, returning his smile._

_ "Yes, because one never sighs for any other reason." They neared the road back to their street._

_ "Not when one is kissing me! You don't have to be shy, Casey, I know the truth," he dramatized, moving away from her but taking her hand. "It's okay to be overwhelmed by my superior kissing skills. You just need practice. And I am willing to make that sacrifice. I am willing to devote my time to help you, the less fortunate, out."_

_ "Gee, how generous and selfless you are," Casey deadpanned, holding in a smile._

_ "I'm a giver," he shrugged. He was ridiculous. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and walked more quickly towards the house. "Come, grasshopper," he called back to her, walking backward, "You can make sock balls while I pack."_

_Casey shook her head again, still sporting a wide smile. Right now, she didn't even care that he was leaving again. At least not yet. Four days. He was hers for four more days._

"And then he left," Casey sighed, wrapping her fingers around her cooling beverage.

"How did that go?"

"Better than it had the first time," Casey grinned, "We were actually speaking this time and we made an effort to keep talking, even if we didn't see each other."

"Did you get to visit each other?"

"Not really," Casey said, sitting up. "It was hard to align schedules, and I was focused on graduating. He had another year and a half to go in New York, so it was difficult."

"You guys did long distance?" Emily sounded unconvinced. "Derek. He did a long distance relationship? Voluntarily?" Casey laughed once.

"Yeah, it was almost natural."

"Natural? How? He fought me on going to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving when we were dating."

"I'm not sure. But it worked. I wasn't ready to give him up again and we never brought the subject up."

"How does that never come up?" Emily arched an eyebrow. Casey shrugged. She knew that she had purposely avoided the subject for fear that he might have thought of it as encouragement. That he might have found someone better for him than her.

"We wanted it to work so badly," she answered.

"So, did you go visit when you graduated? Did he come up?"

"His term was two weeks longer than mine, so he missed graduation. He sent flowers and a card that said he hoped I was allergic to them so I could be as miserable as he was that day." Emily made a face, a smile on her lips, but confused concern on the rest of her face.

"That's," she struggled for the proper words, "thoughtful? Sort of." Casey smile.

"I think it was his version of poetic. It was just very Derek. In a sweet-ish way."

"Did you go see him?"

"We had two weeks over the summer together, but that was it."

"Why only two weeks?"

"He started hockey and summer school and I was sent to training for my job. So, we clung to those two weeks."

"How did you manage to spend them together?"

"I said I was visiting my dad and Kelsey and whoever else I could think of. And he was just staying at school."

"Did you have to wait for him to get out of class?"

"No, a friend from work and I were moving together, so Morgan and I used that time to pack and ship and move."

"So," Emily wiggled her eyebrows at Casey. "What did you and Derek do?" Casey gave her a small smile.

"He took me around his campus, around the northern part of New York that is mostly like here. Not what I was expecting at all. And then we went into the city and walked around, trying to take everything in all at once."

"Just walked around?"

"We got to be a couple. We got to be dating without being anything else. Walking around New York holding his hand was one of the most freeing sensations I've ever had." Casey sighed. "It was us being whoever we wanted to be." Emily smiled at her.

_Casey rubbed her eyes under her glasses. She was exhausted. Derek's friend was really very sweet to let them crash at his apartment; they're tour of Time Square and Broadway had taken longer than they had planned and Derek was not so sure they should brave the public transportation at eleven o'clock at night. Especially because he'd already yelled at someone on the subway for groping her. And threatened a couple of awkward gawkers. _

_She shook her head, smiling, and stretched. Derek was in the other room with Blake talking about something while Casey washed her face and brushed her teeth. She pulled her hair out of its band and it fell in a mess around her shoulders. She wished she had a comb. She pulled on a pair of leggings and let a shirt of Derek's fall over her shoulders. It looked more like a dress, but that didn't matter. She didn't have to impress anyone here._

_Derek had claimed his spot in the room they were to share. Blake had offered them his spare room for the night, warning them that it would be a tight squeeze._

_ "Do you even fit?" Casey asked, as his limbs flopped over the sides of the single bed. She dug around in her bag when he merely responded with a grunt. His feet hung over the end of the mattress. She looked up at him, slightly amused. He pouted and kicked his feet, flipping over onto his back as he whined._

_ "This has to be the smallest bed in the entire country." He stopped moving and looked up at her, his face serious. "It's gonna be torture."_

_ "I asked if you wanted to go home, Der," she reminded him. He stuck his bottom lip out at her and she rolled her eyes. "It's one night." _

_ "Yeah," he agreed, sitting up. He watched her pull what she had been looking for out of her bag and started shaking his head the second he recognized it. "Nope, nope, nope, nope."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Nope, nope, don't even think about it."_

_ "About what?"_

_ "That thing. That's not coming into bed." He pointed at her fist. He meant her mouth guard. _

_ "I need it, Der. I haven't worn it in four days!" Her dentist had told her to wear it every night, and she was already breaking that rule. She wanted to still have teeth when she was fifty._

_ "Yeah, there is a reason for that." He crossed his arms. "Me. I put up with a lot. But not that weird, mangy, plastic thing. You don't need it."_

_ "Der-rek," she complained, "I'm supposed to wear it every night."_

_ "Not with me you're not," he reasoned, reaching out for her. _

_ "I grind my teeth when I'm stressed."_

_ "Oh, do I know it," he smirked and snaked his hands around her waist. "You don't need to be stressed. You're on vacation." She smiled. That was true. She was on vacation. With him. For fourteen days. Two weeks to themselves. _

_ "Fine." She dropped the bit of plastic back into its case on her bag. He smiled, too, his eyelashes closing prettily over his eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. She laced her arms around his neck, feeling utterly rooted to the floor. He pulled away, brushing her messy hair away from her eyes._

_ "Okay, Princess," he said, his voice low and soft. He tucked a few mangled curls behind her ear. "It's a good thing you're small, because single beds were not made for people like me." He pecked her on the cheek and slipped her glasses off her face. Casey laughed, climbing between the sheets, as Derek proceeded to stretch, as if he were preparing for an athletic event. _

_She pressed herself against the wall, trying to take up less room. She didn't care that it was a small, twin bed. They were there together. Sharing a room; sharing ninety-five centimeters of mattress space. And no one looked at them strangely. No one cared that they held hands or kissed in public or shared a single bed. He crawled in next to her and looped his arms around her so they would both fit. He kissed her cheek and nuzzled her ear with his nose. Her heart soared. He was being perfect. And they were together. Nothing else mattered. _

"You guys are sweet," Emily muttered. "Sweet and boring." Casey laughed.

"We were busy. And not used to having time to ourselves. Anything we were going to have together had to happen in that two weeks. We were soaking up all we could of each other." Emily's lips curved into a smirk. "I was so addicted to that feeling of closeness and togetherness; I chased it and never wanted to be free of that thrill."

"Thrill, eh?"

"Yes. New York is thrilling. Anyway," Casey paused and waited for Emily to stop giggling. "_Anyway_, going back home was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I knew it would be hard to see him again, so I mourned him even though he was still perfectly alive. And close. He was so close to me in Kingston. He was closer than going home."

"So, did you visit him when you started working?"

"The first time I went back down to New York was when he had lived there a little over a year; around January or February. It was then I knew that if the day ever came when he didn't want me anymore, I would be very lost without him."

"Why? What happened?"

_Casey threw her shoulder against the door. She was convinced Derek had given her a key that stuck on purpose. Which was rather rude, because, really, she could have dislocated her shoulder or something. And then he would have to take her to the emergency room. So, if he thought about it, he was just creating more of a hazard for himself. _

_She finally tumbled into his apartment and called out to him._

_ "I'm right here, Case," his voice came from his bedroom, "I'm here." He emerged and kissed her in greeting. "How's it going?"_

_ "Your door hates me." She hung her coat on the hook she'd gotten him and forced him to put up. "Do you have some water or something? It was a long drive." She flopped onto his couch._

_ "Yeah, this commuting thing sucks." He walked over to the kitchen alcove and filled a glass with water._

_ "I know. I'm usually the one doing the commuting part."_

_ "Not my fault you don't work weekends," he shrugged, handing her the glass. "And don't believe anything that door says, it's all vicious lies."_

_ "God," she gasped, pulling away from the water to breathe. "That's better. Now I need a nap."Derek's eyebrows rose. _

_ "You have me all to yourself and you want to take a nap?" She smiled. _

_ "Yes. Did you drive three hours in the snow after working all day?"_

_ "Even if I did, I would have driven it to be with you, not to sleep." He sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He nuzzled her cheek with his nose and it tickled. She squirmed to get away from him, giggling. He made her feel like a kid sometimes; more free than she usually allowed._

_ "Der-rek," she chided, batting at him. "You're giving me beard-burn." He pulled back and rubbed at his chin. Her hands joined his on his face, rubbing at the rough beginnings of a beard along his cheeks and jaw line. _

_ "Yeah, I didn't shave yet. I was busy."_

_ "Busy not shaving?" she quipped, smiling a little. _

_ "No," he growled playfully at her, "cleaning. Because my girlfriend is a neat freak and would have killed me." _

_ "She sounds quite reasonable and hygienic, even. You know-" Derek cut her off with a finger to her lips as he moved closer to her._

_ "Shhh, we have to be quite or she'll hear us. She should be here any minute," he whispered against her lips before closing the space between them. Casey rolled her eyes, but let herself be consumed in his kisses. This is why she drove for hours. Him. She didn't care that he was being ridiculous or that his fingers climbing up under her shirt were frozen. He had cleaned for her. And was here kissing her. He pushed her against the seat of the couch, looming over her, and they lost track of time. _

_ "Hey," he said, gently pulling back. Her brain had gone slightly fuzzy, probably from oxygen deprivation, and she had to blink a couple of times to focus. Derek was smiling at her. "Steady," he cautioned._

_ "I'm fine," she reasoned, "What's up?"_

_ "I'm glad you're here," his voice was soft. "It was a shitty week." Casey smiled hugely and pulled him down to kiss her again. He liked her a lot. _

_It was grey outside when they took a much needed break. They lay together on the sofa, panting a little. _

_ "Hey, Case?"Derek breathed._

_ "Yeah?"Her voice was equally as soft._

_ "I think I love you." Her stomach flipped over. _

_ "What?"_

_ "Nothing," he said, quickly kissing her again._

_ "You love me?"_

_ "No?" His features were harder to make out in the dark, but she thought he looked slightly puzzled. Casey's heart had flopped all the way through the couch. He loved her. She couldn't stop grinning._

_ "You love me," she said again, less of a question. He smiled a little._

_ "So?"_

_ "It's okay, I won't tell," she assured him, placing her hands on either side of his face._

_ "Oh, thanks," he mused, louder. Casey pulled him closer._

_ "I might love you, too," she breathed against his lips. _

_They kissed again, more enthusiastically. Until Derek's stomach rumbled. Casey laughed and pushed him gently away. _

_ "Yeah," she agreed, "You should feed me, too." She shot him a sunny smile as he rolled his eyes and stomped to his kitchen. _

"Who would have thought that he would be the first to say it," Emily mused, biting a nail. "It was pulling teeth to get that out of him." She smiled slightly and played with her ring. Casey watched her from across the table. "Not that I knew what that meant in high school, it was just what you were supposed to say to each other." Emily put her elbows on the table. "How did no one notice that you'd sneak off to New York on weekends?"

"I didn't go every weekend," Casey explained. "It wasn't plausible for me to be driving that much, and Derek wasn't always free. We were both working."

"Okay, but how did no one notice?"

"I wasn't being monitored or anything, I was an adult. I was free to do as I pleased. It made it harder to go home after, though. I was so elated to be with him that leaving got harder and harder."

"Wouldn't your mooning love-sickness have tipped people off?"

"Oh, people in my office knew about Derek. They understood the distance thing and were very kind."

"It still must have been rough going back to work."

"Only a little. I was actually commended for having a great balance between my work and my personal life."

"Yeah, a weird, lopsided balance," Emily was looking at her like she was a lost puppy. Casey smiled. That was exactly how she had felt. Like a small, lost animal.

"But it was something I had the freedom to choose, all the same. And we worked hard; we wanted to stay together. I kept thinking of it as a loan; if the expiration date came close, more borrowing would push back the inevitable due date."

"You still thought you were going to expire?"

"I was very convinced that he was going to realize that he could do so much better than bickering with me.

"Why? He loved you."

"And I loved him. But I was young, I was twenty-two. Nothing lasted forever. Love wasn't something tangible or something measurable. I couldn't put numbers to it and calculate it; there was no right answer, so I wasn't willing to rely solely on that. I didn't think we had any sort of permanence in each other's long-term future.""

"So, what happened?"

"Derek thought differently."

* * *

Boys always see it differently. Any guesses as to what's different? 1,000 points to the best answer!

Anyone else have that feeling where something might be too good to be true?

P.S. The giant thing down here is so handy for reviews, no? :)


	13. Chapter 13

Merry Christmas everyone! Here is the next installment!

Thank you to my amazing reviewers! The words that are really sound effects are my favorite! Shout out to those that procrastinated and read instead of doing whatever else was on the agenda. I'm glad I'm not alone! LoveMeant2B and thecanadian13 earn 500 points each for being mostly half right! Congrats! I have a prize in mind...

Next time, I know the wait won't be as long! :)I can't believe I missed November. But I hope that I am forgiven because this is a longer chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Santa has not come yet. I am still waiting, but the prospect is not looking good.

* * *

Casey flexed her pinched toes as she adjusted her shoe. If she hadn't been so late she would have been able to grab the emergency pair of flats from her glove box. But she had been late and was stuck with her heels.

"What?" Emily asked, staring slightly. Casey had lost the conversation entirely.

"Hm?" she asked, needing clarification.

"How did he think differently? Like, how differently?"

"I'm not completely sure. He didn't think the same way I did. Still doesn't, even." Emily rolled her eyes.

"No one can, Case. It'd be impossible to think the way you do. We'd all explode." Casey raised an eyebrow, but nodded in consent. Some days her husband pantomimed his head exploding more often than she thought would be statistically accurate. If there was such thing as spontaneous combustion. Which science had yet to prove.

"I know. I meant that from the evidence I had, Derek was on a different _planet_ when it came to relationships. He had gone through them like flavored chewing gum." Emily made a face. "Not like, 'I need to bite you' or I'm done with you, so stick to the underside of this plastic table' type," Casey hastily corrected herself. "I meant like 'oh, this has no flavor left; time for a new one' type. You know what he was like in high school. He was worse at Queen's and then he was gone. I had only seen him interact with people in New York for two weeks. So, I was on my toes while he was really relaxed."

"So," Emily prompted, rubbing at a spot on the table. Casey fought back a wince, There were certainly more bacteria and germs on that table than she would have liked. She swallowed her comment and dragged her focus back to the woman sitting opposite her. "What happened next?"

Casey smiled a little. She should have seen that coming by now. She twisted her ring around her finger out of habit, and sighed. "Let's see," she mused, "Derek graduated the spring after I did."

"Did you go see him?"

"I missed the ceremony because of work, but our entire family went to dinner to celebrate when I flew in."

"Oh, God." Emily's eyes widened.

_Derek rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. New York was alive with glowing lights and bustling people. The cab was stuffy and had a weird smell, but that was only a small matter._

_ "Thanks for coming to get me," she said, turning to face him. The streetlights lit up his face periodically. He threw an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head._

_ "Well, you'd get lost and somehow it would be my fault, so, really, I'm just thinking of all the suffering the both of us would go through when you ended up in the Bronx." She whacked his chest lightly with the back of her hand. _

_ "That's on the other side of the state," she pouted, offended, and only mostly pretending. _

_ "It's the only time we have, just you and me," he shrugged, moving his arm and taking her hand again. _

_She'd missed him. It was weird, but she forgot how much she'd actually missed him until she saw him. His thumb started making circles against her skin, again. She loved being close to him. He was still in slacks and a button-down shirt that he'd worn under his graduation robes, but had thrown on his leather jacket, despite the mild June New York. _

_She squeezed his hand. "I'm proud of you, Der." He stared at her for a second, as if debating his next move. "You've done so well." And then he grabbed her face and kissed her. She made a little noise, not expecting him to show any sign of affection in public, let alone in a dirty cab. But he was kissing her. His hands cupped her cheeks, hers clinging to his fingers to steady herself. He smelled so like himself; soap, leather, hair goop, spice, and Derek. She'd really missed him. _

_Before she completely lost her head, she pulled away. How close were they? She didn't feel like having a conversation with her mother on why they were making out in a New York cab. Plus today was about Derek. She looked over at him. He was smirking at her, but not out of malice. _

_ "I'll behave, Princess," he promised. "For now." She rolled her eyes, hoping he was being facetious._

_When they pulled up to the restaurant, Casey hastily detangled her fingers from his and scooted out of the door to hug her mother while Derek paid. _

_ "Oh! Casey, it's so good to see you!" Her mom squeezed her shoulders. "How have you been? How's work? Are you seeing anyone?"_

_ "Better grab that bag out of the trunk, Space Case, before he drives off with it," Derek called to her from the street. She glared at him._

_ "Could it kill you to have some chivalry, Derek?" He pretended to think for a pause._

_ "Yeah, probably," and walked away. Casey lunged at the cab to get her luggage. _

_George started to scold him, following his son into the restaurant. Nora shook her head._

_ "And some say five years have passed," she grinned. _

_ "Well, the cab driver doesn't seem to have cemented his ears shut," Edwin said optimistically, hands in his pockets._

_ "We weren't sure whether or not he spoke English," Casey puffed, heaving her bag onto the curb and shaking her bangs out of her eyes. "He was pretty quiet."_

_ "Derek or the cab guy?"_

_ "A little bit of both. I was on the phone with my roommate," Casey hastily lied, "so, we didn't have talk."She turned her face away so no one would see her face and call her bluff. But it really wasn't a lie. They hadn't really talked. And she had called Mason. But not in the cab. She felt hot. She bit the insides of her cheeks and followed Edwin and Liz inside. "Where's Marti?" The thirteen-year-old was missing from the family gathering on the curb. _

_ "Oh," Edwin turned and walked backwards to face Casey, "My mom took her for the day. They went into the city after Derek's name was called." He faced forward again. "Can't sit still, that girl." Lizzie punched his arm. _

_ "That is a genetic feature of all of you, then," she laughed. "George's knee shook the whole row of seats." Casey smiled. The Venturis were a fidgety bunch. _

_ "They're on their way back," Edwin sniffed, rubbing at his chin. "They're joining us for dinner." _

_ "Did anyone warn the restaurant?" Casey asked, pulling out a chair. Her mother pointing stopped her from sitting._

_ "No, no, no. You two are not sitting across from each other," she scolded, gesturing between Casey and Derek. "I'm not having you kick each other under the table or yell across it in public." Casey hesitated, barely making eye contact with Derek. He was chewing a roll slowly, glancing between the two women, visibly perplexed. _

_ "Okay," Casey said, slowly. She tucked the chair back under the table. "Where do you want me to go?"_

_ "Well, you can't yell or kick across a table if there is not a table across which either of you sit." Derek raised an eyebrow. _

_ "What?"_

_ "Derek, don't talk with your mouth full."_

_ "Casey, don't boss people around." _

_Nora heaved a very audible sigh. "If you sit next to him, neither of you can kick. And you can argue in a civilized tone without engaging the whole table."_

_ "You want me to sit next to him?" Casey pulled a face. Derek looked smug. He was chewing sloppily for her benefit and slung his arm over the chair she was to occupy. _

_ "Be nice, Casey. This is Derek's party."_

_ "Why can't he sit at the head of the table, then?"_

_ "Because I'm already sitting, Miss Priss." Casey clenched her jaw. He_ knew_ how she felt about that name. He dropped her gaze and stuffed another piece of bread in his mouth, knowing he was in trouble. _

_ "Please, Casey," Nora whispered, taking her own seat at George's elbow. Casey made another face but sat. Derek propped his elbows on the table and laced his fingers over his plate. _

_ "So, where's mom?" He looked at George. George looked at his wrist, squinted at it, and then pulled out his phone. _

_ "She's parking," he muttered, flipping his phone shut. "They'll be here in a minute."_

_ "Pass the bread." _

_ "Did she rent a car?"_

_ "Can I get a menu down here?"_

_ "Is there any water?"_

_ "Of course she got a car. She likes to be the driver."_

_ "Derek ate all of the rolls."_

_ "Mom, can I order a pop?"_

_ "Dad, can I order a beer?"_

_ "Abby! Over here!"_

_The din of the chatter was normal for a restaurant setting. It was normal for her family, but Casey had the impression that this, as the first family dinner they were having in five years, was not going to be normal. _

_ Casey was already on edge. Her mother had been pestering her about her social life for weeks. She'd been able to dodge questions when she knew they were coming; she'd been able to write down versions of responses and rearrange them in a statistically plausible conversational pattern. Because talking to her mother about Derek, or really, the way she felt about him, regardless of at whom it was directed. She was just starting her career; she didn't have a planned response for that conversation. So that conversation would have to wait. _

_Abby and George sat at opposite heads of the table and the meal progressed amicably. Marti, from Derek's other side, chatted about the tourist landmarks she'd seen that afternoon and made him promise to take her to see the rest because she'd be the envy of her whole class if she saw a show on Broadway. Edwin sat opposite Casey trying to talk to his mother and Liz about the hardships of the first year of school away from home. _

_ "The worst part is the laundry!" he explained, "I never have anything that is cleaner than a few weeks on my floor."_

_ "Ed, that's disgusting," Liz reprimanded him, reaching around for the giant salad bowl. "I've found time to wash stuff ever two weeks and take six classes both semesters."_

_ "Yeah, well," he turned to her and rested his elbow on the table nearing flipping his dinner plate on to himself. Abby acted quickly; she knew her son. "I'm not related to Casey, so I don't have the nerd jean."_

_ "Pity," Casey commented, swallowing a forkful of steamed vegetables, "Nerds get paid all the money." She glanced at him across the table. He'd narrowed his eyes at her, but Lizzie was grinning. _

_ "Well, nerds and good looking people," Derek retaliated. _

_ "Not always," Lizzie interjected, "This girl in my class is really pretty, but dumb as a rock."_

_ "What would you call them, Case?" Derek nudged her._

_ "You?"_

_ "No, Princess," he rolled his eyes, "the other ones. Hot and brainy. 'Statistically more likely to succeed,' right?" Casey made a face at him before facing forward. She felt her cheeks flush. _

_ "Only if their looks don't interfere with their ability to properly interpret the word 'statistically' and use it in a sentence."_

_ "Ah, but that would be statistically inconsistent," Edwin countered. She looked at him before Liz caught her eye. Their faces mirrored the mock shame at his use of 'big words.' They smiled together and Lizzie shook her head. _

_ "Good effort, Ed," she encouraged. "I think you meant stereotypically inconsisten." _

_ "I'll get you a word-of-the-day calendar for Christmas," Casey promised. Edwin looked put out, but they were able to chat comfortably._

_When they had all finished, George stretched and told Derek he'd buy him a dessert for the special occasion. _

_ "And all I got was a dinner mint when I graduated," Edwin pouted. _

_ "This is more of a shock," Marti said, leaning over the table. "We knew you'd graduate high school."_

_ "Ouch, Smarti, that hurts," Derek said, rubbing his chest like his heart hurt. _

_ "The truth hurts," she told him. _

_Abby laughed and sat back in her chair with her glass of wine. "So will Ed's introduction to real college life." She eyed her youngest son. "The first year doesn't count." She lifted the glass to her lips._

_ "Is that why Derek took five years? The first didn't count?" Derek threw his napkin in Ed's direction before George, Nora, and Abby all intervened. They had all witnessed the stains from other items being thrown across a dinner table._

_Casey grinned and finished the last sip of wine in her own glass. The family dynamic was certainly insane, but they were so comfortable with each other. She had almost forgotten how relaxed they could all be. _

_Derek's hand on her leg broke her out of her thoughts. She jumped, which made him jolt, too. _

_ "Jeez, and you thought we were fidgety," Edwin laughed, elbowing Lizzie. Marti pointed her fork at Derek._

_ "That's how you spill things, Smer," she informed him, stabbing at her baked spaghetti calzone. _

_ "Sorry," Casey stammered out, moving the tablecloth and looking at her feet. "I thought there was a bug on me." Derek gave her a weird look, but she refused to meet his gaze. He tried to catch her eye, but she involved herself in any other conversation. She didn't want to draw attention to them. Their immediately younger siblings had a habit of being aggressively suspicious._

_When the waiter taking care of them left to get desert, Derek dropped his hands into his lap and lightly pinched her thigh under the table. She sharply turned her head. He gave her a look that clearly asked 'what with you?' she shook her head once, so slightly that someone would need to have been looking for it. 'Not here.' He pinched at her leg again, lighter, more affectionately. _

_ "Stop," she whispered, swatting at him. She rearranged her place setting and smoothed her napkin over her lap. When Liz started talking of her plans for the next semester, Casey engrossed herself in the talk of going abroad. She didn't think Lizzie going to Mexico by herself for a semester sounded like a safe idea, and even went as far as mentioning environmental law. Anything. She knew something would happen if she engaged Derek's probing looks. She'd giggle or yell or worse. She did _not _want to do that here. _

_ "What was that?" Casey sprang away from her bag open on the bed. She hadn't noticed him leaning against the doorframe to her room._

_ "God, Derek!" She put a hand over her heart. "Don't do that! You scared a year off my life!"_

_ "Yeah, well," he shrugged, as if to say 'it happens.' He crossed his arms and stared at her. She fidgeted. _

_ "What?"_

_ "At dinner? What the hell was that about?" She didn't look at him and instead rooted around in her bag for her brush. _

_ "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant._

_ "Are you freaking out?" He knew her. She dropped her arms and looked at him. She knew he'd know if she lied._

_ "Well, yeah," she blurted. His eyebrows shot up. He probably was expecting her to fight him. _

_ "Why?"_

_ "You can't just," she stopped talking and walked to him. She tugged his sleeve to pull him into the room, checked the hallway for lurkers, and shut the door. "You can't just _grope_ me at the dinner table with our_ family_!" she whispered, walking around to keep the bed between them._

_ "I didn't grope you."_

_ "You're mom was right there, Derek. You might as well have."_

_ "Well, I'll keep that in mind for next time," he smirked, raising his eyebrows and taking a step closer to her._

_ "Der-rek," she scolded, stomping her foot. "I'm serious."_

_ "Seriously freaking out," he muttered. She glared._

_ "Derek, you can't just grab my leg under the table during dinner," she explained, crossing her arms over her chest. He gave her a look._

_ "Why not? I've done it before and this is the first time you're yelling at me." Casey huffed and dropped her arms. _

_ "That was with your team and that one dinner with Mason and what's-his-name."_

_ "Yeah," he was clearly not following her. "So?"_

_ "So, this is different, Derek."_

_ "Why? Because my mom was there?"_

_ "Because our whole family was there!"_

_ "And that freaks you out?"_

_ "Yes!" she threw her arms up. "Of course that freaks me out, Derek!"_

_ "Why?"_

_Casey didn't answer him but stared, incredulous. Was he being serious? Because the last time she had checked, they were both participating in a relationship that neither of them should have even thought about, let alone acted upon. When Derek merely stared back at her, questioningly, she spoke._

_ "You're kidding, right? You know this," she gestured between them, "is weird and that it freaks me out."_

_ "Still? Are you going to start labeling things again?"_

_ "No, God, Derek," she ran her fingers through her hair. "This isn't the kind of thing we should be parading around."_

_ "What?"_

_ "You know what I'm saying! You know that we don't have a normal relationship. You know that what people think is really terrifying."_

_ "No, Case, I don't. I don't really care what other people think."_

_ "Including your mother?" _

_ "She's kind of stuck with a genetic link for life, so," he shrugged, "she can take me or leave me." Casey stared open mouthed. He was so calm. Why did he get to be the calm on all of the time? When was it her turn to be the rational one? "Is your mom still bugging you about seeing someone?"_

_ "Of course she is. She thinks she's being a concerned mother."_

_ "Are you gonna be okay?"_

_ "No, Derek, I'm really scared!"_

_ "Of my mom?"_

_ "No, not of your mom, but of what she thinks of us. And George. And my mom. And Liz. And Ed." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's a really daunting thought."_

_ "Okay," he paused. "So, if we explained it to them—"_

_ "NO," Casey practically shouted. She took a backward leap and slammed her legs into the room's heater. A tear slipped down her face. "No, no, this is _not _something of which we could explain our way out."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because of who we are! Because of who we're supposed to be to each other!"_

_ "Jesus, Casey, I think they might understand that things just happen."_

_ "No, they wouldn't. And you know it. We'd be condemning our own fate." She sighed roughly. "Maybe it'd be for the best?"_

_ "Whoa, Case," Derek started, putting his hands up and backing away slightly. "Are you giving up on me?"_

_ "I don't know, Derek. Maybe we should give up."_

_ "I don't want to."_

_ "I don't either, but I can't do that again, Der."_

_ "Casey," he moved around the bed, "Casey, what they think really doesn't matter." She sniffed._

_ "It does to me." Her insecurity slipped out in a whisper. It was almost embarrassing. It was as if she were telling Derek he wasn't enough for her. But he was. He was; it was just that everyone else still mattered. _

_ "Okay, hey," he brushed her hair behind her ear, "hey, it's okay. That's okay, it's fine."_

_ "What's fine?"_

_ "If you don't want to tell people, that's fine, I don't care."He held her face up to his, both of his palms against both of her cheeks. _

_ "What?" Derek usually wasn't good with secrets._

_ "I don't care, Case. Tell people; don't tell people, it doesn't matter to me. I just want you to myself, okay?" She nodded. "I don't care how we're together, Princess. I just care that we're together."_

_She nearly burst into tears. He was so completely patient with her. It was beautiful. This boy who used to demand his own way and fight her to the bitter end had laid his heart out. It was amazingly and unexpectedly wonderful. _

_ "Okay," she whispered. "Okay, let's be that. I can do that. I can do that much."_

_ "Yeah?" She nodded again. "Okay." He bent and kissed her lightly. Her stomach leapt into her heart and he pulled away. _

_ "Are you still going out tonight?" she asked, as he brushed the sides of her face with his fingertips. _

_ "Yeah, a bunch of us are."_

_ "Okay. Call if you need me, okay?"_

_ "Okay," he nodded. He kissed her forehead lightly before moving away toward the door._

_ "Goodnight," she called after him, getting onto the bed without changing._

_ "Night, Case," he smirked. He pulled the door open and had nearly let it close when he stuck his head back in. "Oh, Princess," he smiled. "I couldn't give a flying fuck what's normal."_

_ "Der-rek," she reprimanded through her clenched teeth. He laughed and let the door swing heavily shut._

"He wanted to tell people? I thought you said you didn't not tell people."

"We specifically did not tell our family. I mean, the thought of doing that would send me into hysterics. Everyone else just didn't know. It was something about which I'd trained myself to remain vague."

"Because you were scared?"

"It was a terrifying reality. It is one of those things where no excuse would be tolerable, and there is no honest explanation," Casey hung her head and picked at her nails. "I didn't thing I could handle it."

"Even with Derek?"

"Derek is so unpredictable. He was difficult to gage, and I never could guess what was going on in his head. If I would have let myself think we would face it together, there would always be that little voice that asked when he was going to change his mind."

"Wow," Emily sat back against her chair. "You were so morbid. Do you still think that?"

"Well," Casey laughed, "He's still unpredictable."

"But you did know it was a secret, the two of you?"

"Well, sort of," Casey qualified, "Just from the people to whom we were both related. Everyone else would just speculate or not know."

"Okay, so when I sent you an email asking if you were seeing anyone?"

"I just skipped over that part. It was habit to avoid the subject." Emily made a face. "I know. It was childish." Casey confessed.

"A little," Emily agreed, looking sympathetic.

"So, when the real world hit, it hit hard."

_ "What are we doing?" Casey leaned her elbows against the counter. _

_ "Eating breakfast." Derek looked from his spoon to her. The summer break from the school year let him visit her more often than when either of them had been in school. _

_ "No, not like that. I mean you and me. It's been a year, Der. What are we doing?"He looked slightly perplexed as he chewed his cereal._

_ "Well," he said, around his masticated carbohydrate, "We're, you know, making do."_

_ "What?" She pushed away from the counter. He swallowed._

_ "We live two hours apart and we never see each other, but we've been doing it for a while now. It's kind of habit."_

_ "Habit?"_

_ "Yeah, we've kind of gotten used to it."_

_ "Well, it's a stupid habit," Casey grumbled._

_ "So is chewing your fingers and yet that's still happening," he smirked._

_ "Shut up." She made a face at him as he spooned more milk-soaked corn flakes into his mouth. "What I meant," she paused, "is that we should be on the same page."_

_ "Uh," he swallowed again, "Okay."_

_ "I want to break the habit." He sat up, brows narrowed._

_ "You're ending it?"_

_ "What? No!" Casey covered quickly. She understood how that sounded, especially given her tendency to freak out. "I just— I want to know if we have something here."_

_ "Here? In Kingston?" Casey looked at him, gauging if he was playing dumb._

_ "I meant if we're going to call this something."_

_ "Oh, Jesus, not the labeling again," Derek rolled his eyes as he stood. "Princess, we've been over this."_

_ "No, we haven't," Casey countered. Derek interrupted._

_ "Yeah, Case, I don't do that."_

_ "This isn't just about you anymore, Der."_

_ "Please tell me more about how I'm not a part of this."_

_ "God! Derek, listen to me for one second," Casey raised her voice and threw her arms up. He was more focused on not labeling than about the monumental risk she was taking with her heart. "I'm going to be selfish, Derek," she started. He scoffed and crossed his arms. He took a defensive posture and gestured for her to continue, ignoring her glare. She clenched her teeth. Maybe this was a bad idea. "Fine, Derek, never mind. It was something important, but you can be all self-righteous if you want."_

_ "Thanks, Case, for your permission." He noticed her expression and dropped his stance. "Okay, I'm sorry, Princess." He walked over to her and put his palms on her upper arms. "I'm listening." She peeked up at him. "I promise."_

_ "I just wanted to know if we wanted to do something that might be crazy."_

_ "Okay," Derek agreed, hesitantly._

_ "Okay," she echoed. She took a breath. "You know how you are always upset about when I have to leave your apartment?" He gave a confused little smile. "And you tell me not to leave?"_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "Okay, so, what if I didn't."_

_ "Didn't what?"_

_ "Didn't have to leave."_

_ "My apartment? You'd go nuts and clean things."_

_ "No, not," she shook her head and put a hand on his chest, "not like that. What if I didn't leave New York?"_

_ "What are you going to do in New York?"_

_ "Derek," she said, slowly and clearly. Sometimes talking to him was like pulling teeth. "Should I start looking to try to transfer?"_

_ "Like your job?" He seemed confused as to why she'd even consider such a radical idea. _

_ "Yeah?" She was extremely unsure of this idea now. It was stupid of her to even bring it up. She wished she would have just swallowed that notion. He wouldn't want her constantly around to argue or scream. And now he couldn't even pretend he didn't hear her to spare her feelings. It was a long moment before he said anything._

_ "You'd do that for me?"_

_It was not what she was expecting. He was supposed to ask why or laugh or back away. She shook her head, thinking perhaps she was in a fog._

_ "What?"_

_ "You'd change offices to be closer to me?"_

_ "Yeah?" He ran a hand through his hair. He looked a little stunned._

_ "Wow, Casey," he started. This was more what she was expected; him telling her it was too much too soon. "How," he swallowed. "How do I let you do that? How do I help?" Okay, so maybe she didn't understand what he was thinking in the slightest. _

_ "I just have to put in a request to see if there is anything close," she said. And he enveloped her. He pulled her close to his chest and held her. His shirt smelled like fresh laundry and Derek. He wanted her closer. He wanted to see if he could help. He was okay that she wanted to be with him. _

_ "Case," he pulled away, "I didn't think anyone would ever want—you know I'd do the same thing for you, right?"_

_ "What? Of course," she touched his face. "I know."_

_ "So, we're gonna give this a real shot?" He let a rare real grin creep onto his face. It was contagious. Casey felt her stomach flutter. She smiled back._

_ "Yeah, I think so."_

Emily's shoulders were hunched over the table. She grasped her empty mug and bit her bottom lip.

"You were going to move in together?" she squealed.

"We were going to see if that was a possibility with our careers. We'd been in a commuting relationship for a year and a half. We were looking for something more adult and practical."

"More adult than long distance?"

"We wanted to grow up. And we wanted to try that together."

"So, you were going to move in together?" Emily insisted. Casey smiled. Emily was weirdly enthralled.

"We were going to try."

"So, what came of that?"

"I had options to transfer to Toronto and to New York City, but Derek was further west than the city. Then he got an interview over the holidays in Toronto and one in Ottawa the following spring."

"So, you had options." Emily concluded.

"We had options."

* * *

Options! Options are good, yes?

Just like happy family dinners, right? 2,000 points to guesses as to what happens there!

P.S. Reviews are the most wonderful Christmas present! (Or holiday present if you're not into Christmas)


	14. Chapter 14

See? Didn't I say I wouldn't make you wait so long? I so love the holidays...

Cheers to KaRaEa and thecanadian13; 2,000 points each! I really enjoy hearing from everybody, so thank you so much!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I had to buy Christmas presents. Sadly, rights and royalties were not on my list or within my budget...

* * *

"So, what did you do with your options?" Emily asked, eagerly. "I promise this is my last question." Casey laughed out loud.

"I doubt this will answer five years' worth of missing information."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to trust me."

"Yeah, okay, I might have more questions. Just answer this one first."

"Well, in the fall of 2016, the position in Ottawa made Derek an offer. A really good offer. We went over the numbers and I made a pros and cons list, a couple of charts even. And we knew that it would make the most financial sense for him, if he wanted to be back in Canada."

"But you didn't have anything in Ottawa, right? A job or anything?"

"No, and Ottawa was only a half an hour closer to Kingston than Saint Lawrence had been, and in the opposite direction."

"Was that what you wanted?"

"I didn't want to make it about me. It was a great opportunity for him, with or without me in the picture."

"So, he took the job?" Emily guessed. Casey nodded.

"By Thanksgiving, he was looking at apartments."

_"Just chuck it in the box, Casey."_

_ "How will you know where to find it when you're unpacking?"_

_ "I'm not concerned on where I'll find a can opener. All cans have that tab thing now anyway."_

_Casey huffed. His version of packing was highly inefficient and just created more of a mess for the other end of the move. If he would just let her label the boxes, or even fold things nicely into them, she would have felt a little less antsy. _

_ "I don't know you can just stuff things into boxes. I mean, where is the logic of putting your socks in with your eating utensils? It seems really unsanitary."_

_Derek stood up from his position over several boxes. "I washed them both. And the laundry bin was near the drawer when I was packing and there was room."_

_ "So, you just dumped them together?"_

_ "Yeah," he shrugged._

_ "All in the same box?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "But what if you need a fork? Or a left sock?"_

_ "I'll find them."_

_ "But the box isn't labeled! And it looks exactly like all of the other boxes you have."_

_ "I'll live."_

_ " Really, Der, if you fold them—"_

_ "Don't touch it."_

_ "But if you just—"_

_ "Don't!"_

_ "But—"_

_ "No."_

_He wouldn't let her match his socks together either. She crossed her arms. He wasn't going to let her do anything. He was, however, probably going to make her help him unpack, which would be even more irritating, because nothing would be labeled. _

_ "I don't need sock balls. I have a system," he explained, twisting as he straightened. His back cracked and his shirt rose as he shifted, showing his stomach just between his hips. _

_ "Yeah," Casey snorted, "throw everything into a box."_

_ "However did you guess?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from every word. He moved towards her, a slight smirk on his lips._

_ "The powers of observation."_

_ "I know not of this magic you speak." Her arms reached to him out of habit as he drew closer, and closed around his waist. _

_ "Of course not," she rolled her eyes. He lifted her face up to his._

_ "Thanks for helping me pack, Princess," he said, his voice low. He could be so obnoxious in one moment and so gentle in the next. It made her head spin. She ran her tongue over her upper lip. He should not have been allowed to have those eyelashes. _

_ "You're not letting me help," she pouted. _

_ "You're doing a great job." And he kissed her on the mouth. Her feet grew roots and she squeezed her arms around his torso. "Very helpful," he whispered, and kissed her again. Her mind glazed over a little as she sank into his kisses. _

"He was moving," Emily reasoned. "Okay, why does that matter?"

"It was a big step for him. And for me. It was like discovering we'd suddenly become adults."

"Yeah, I remember that feeling," Emily nodded, "But why is that important?"

"Because I thought that moving was the next step for Derek and me."

"What, moving in together?"

"Well, no. Not together. Just closer."

"And Derek thought you were on a different step?" Casey closed her eyes and nodded. She had thought that he had been on a completely different planet.

_ "Can I ask you something, Princess?" he asked, lifting his face off of her stomach. Casey's brain was still in a fog. She heard him without hearing him. _

_ "What?"_

_ "I have a question for you."_

_ "Okay. A good one or a bad one?"Maybe he was finally going to tell her that he'd met someone else. Less high maintenance. Which, after rolling around on his bed for half an hour, was kind of a rude way to end things. Especially after she'd dedicated her weekend to helping him pack._

_ "A good one. Usually."_

_ "Okay, shoot," she sighed, pushing her bangs off of her forehead. _

_ "Okay." He rolled over, off of her body and onto the floor._

_ "Are you alright?" she asked at the thump. He didn't respond and she lost herself in staring at the ceiling fan. It really shouldn't have been on. It was October for Herman's sake. But she liked the noise. It was soothing and lazy._

_ "Casey?"_

_ "Yes?" _

_ "Casey?" he said again. She turned her head against the mattress to look at him. _

_ "Yes?" she repeated. He beckoned her closer with a crooked finger. She rolled over and scooted closer to the edge of the bed. _

_Derek was on his knees next to the bed, still clad solely in his jeans. His hands were fisted at his sides, but he wore a giant grin. _

_ "I know you have this thing," he started, "about being thirty or something." Casey's brow wrinkled. "But I don't care." He uncurled his fist from around a small box. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. Only so many words came with a small box. He smiled and held the box out to her. "Please, Casey McDonald, will you," she closed her eyes, "marry me?"_

_She didn't open her eyes for a moment. Maybe if she didn't, everything that he'd just said would go away. Would never have happened. _

_How self-involved had they been? Had they been deluding themselves so much that now Derek actually thought this was possible? She had been waiting for the day for him to run out of patience with her; for him to give up on her. She had never expected this. How did he think it was a possibility for her to say yes to him? How could he taunt her with the idea of a perfectly normal relationship, knowing it was something she wanted desperately, but also something that they couldn't ever have together?_

_She let out a shaky breath and opened her eyes. He was looking at her in anticipation. "Uh," she started, hesitantly. Then she breathed out a large breath. Finally, she clambered off of the mattress and knelt next to him on the floor. "Derek, I can't marry you." He eyed her, quizzically. "I mean, really, Der. We can't." His eyes narrowed._

_ "Why?" he asked in angry confusion. _

_ "Well, for starters, I live in Kingston and you're going to be in Ottawa. My job-" _

_ "So?"_

_ "We can't just ignore that."_

_ "I'll move," he shrugged. _

_ "Again?"_

_ "I'll commute. We could live in the middle." She waved a hand._

_ "Derek, even with those factors _out_ of the equation, we," she gestured between them, "can't ever get married."_

_ "Why not? I love you and you love me. That's kinda how it works, Casey."_

_ "You know why not, Derek. We're related, obviously." She looked down at her hands. "Our parents are married." _

_ "So what, Casey? They love each other. That's what people in love do. Get married." Casey was breathing hard. How could he still sound so hopeful? She got to her feet_

_ "Derek," her tone was sharp and direct. "There is no way for this to work."_

_ "Okay, Case, I get that we will be a little," he struggled for the right word as he too got to his feel, "unconventional, but that doesn't matter."_

_ "How does that not matter?!" She was yelling now, and probably crying. "Derek, this is not normal!"_

_ "Yes, it is! People in love get married all the time!_

_ "Please, Derek, please explain to me how any part of stepsiblings getting married falls into the normal category?"_

_ "Fuck, Casey!"_

_ "Don't _use_ that word!"_

_ "Why do you have to _label_ everything?" He was mad now, too. Indignant and mad._

_ "That's how the world works, Derek!"_

_ "It doesn't have to!"_

_ "How would _that_ work, huh? How would I go about telling people that you and I are involved? How well do you see that going?"_

_ "Stop, Casey," he lowered himself into a chair in the corner. _

_ "Stop? Derek, this will be worse than when Vicky pretended she was pregnant last year. This won't even compare to that!"_

_ "Are you kidding me right now?" _

_ "Why can't we just stay like this?" Her question was almost a whisper; dramatically different from the shouting. She liked the dating. It was easy and perfect for them. "You told me before that you didn't care."_

_ "Because I want to _marry_ you," he explained like she was hard of hearing._

_ "We can't," she emphasized. "It just doesn't happen. I've been willing to give up things I've always wanted for you, but a marriage just isn't possible."_

_ "You can have what you want, Case, I can give you what you want. You just have to let me." He took her hands. "I'm not saying it'll be easy, Princess, but I am saying it'll be worth it."_

_ "Worth it, Derek? Worth it? Worth having my mother tell me she can't even look at me?" she spat, "Worth our friends being disgusted by us? Worth the whole world looking at us like we're weird or disturbed? Worth the contempt our siblings will feel? The betrayal? Worth your dad seeing you as a corrupting monster?" she was crying outright. She didn't care. She was terrified and needed answers._

_ "Stop it!" he roared, shooting to his feet again. "Just stop it! Yeah, we're gonna get shit from some people, but-"_

_ "Our entire family is some people?"_

_ "Casey! Listen to me!" He pushed his hands against his temples. "I'm ready for people to know. I don't care. And," he said loudly over her attempt to interrupt, "even if I was freaking the fuck out before I asked you, I know right now. I know that I love you and that I want to marry you. But if you don't think you could ever marry me then that's probably it."_

_ "What?"_

_ "I think we could make it. I think we can be together because we love each other enough."_

_ "Derek, I don't want to lose you and I do love you, but-"_

_ "But not enough to marry me?" He shook his head. "That's how I feel, Casey. Now you know. If we can't be together the right way, maybe we shouldn't even try." _

_That wasn't fair. She hated it. He wasn't even willing to compromise. What was with the ultimatum? How was it fair that he got to shoot this at her all at once and expect her to be okay with it? Where was the rational to that? She hated him for his lack of forethought. But if that was the way he wanted to play it, she could play, too. She rubbed at her wet cheeks and glowered at him._

_ "Okay," she mumbled, keeping her voice as even as possible._

_ "Okay, what?" he asked, cautiously. _

_ "I'm tired, Derek. Tired of trying to be reasonable. Tired of trying."_

_ "What the hell is wrong with you?"_

_ "Nothing. I was fine before I got here." Her voice was overly bitter. She didn't care and pushed her hair away from her face. He didn't say anything as she moved quickly around the little room gathering her jacket and shoes. He didn't even move. She slung her bag and her purse over her shoulder and gave the room a once-over for anything important she may have forgotten. She wasn't coming back. _

_Derek just stood in the middle of the room, looking more tired than angry. "You're gonna drive now? It's eleven o'clock."_

_ "I don't care. I'm not staying here." She moved briskly to his front door and snatched her keys off the front table. _

_ "Whatever." He made a gesture like he was done with her anyway. She made sure the door slammed behind her. _

"You just left?"

"Yeah. I left and drove the 2 hours home."

"You were stupid."

"I know. It was dark and late and snowing. I could have been in an accident, I was crossing a boarder and—"

Emily cut her off. "No, I meant the whole freak out about him wanting to marry you. He obviously loved you."

"I know but we are—"

"Sort of related, I know."

"Right. And at that time I was convinced love wasn't enough. I wasn't ready to confront everything and wasn't ready for a barrage of negativity I was sure was going to follow."

"You didn't believe him?"

"Of course not. It was Derek."

"So, what happened?"

"We stopped talking. Completely."

"What? Even yelling?"

"There was no communication between us."

"Because you desecrated his heart. And then stomped on it. With heels. And spit."

"He was being unreasonable. There was no way to compromise with him. And I was done trying."

"Well, so, who fixed it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who apologized?"

"No one apologized."

"So, you're telling me you're still in this fight?"

"Well, everything else just got louder and more important."

"What happened?"

"Remember the barrage of negativity?"

"Yeah?"

"It came down anyway."

* * *

Because it always does. And just when one can't take any more.

Who starts this barrage? Anyone? 1,500 points available!

Happy Holidays, everyone! :) The little button below the giant box down here is better than Santa...

P.S. Who wants to know my points prize? I think I've got a good one! :)


	15. Chapter 15

Happy New Year! I hope all of you lovely readers have had a wonderful start to 2013! Here is the next installment! It is a long one, so I hope you have a lovely read. Enjoy! :)

I loved all of the guesses, but I'm pretty sure that no one saw this coming! :) 10 points each to KaRaEa, Silkylove13, LoveMeant2Be and garnetandgold47! Thank you all so much!

Disclaimer: Yeah, tuition for spring was due this month. So, nope, nothing. No ownership.

* * *

"How did the barrage happen?" Emily asked, concern in her eyes.

"Well, Derek and I weren't really talking, but there were a lot of questions from other people about what was going on with us. " Casey checked her watch. She would have to leave soon. But she could take a little more time for the sake of her friendship

"That probably didn't help you both."

"Not really. We took it out on each other. It was more of a challenge that neither of us was willing to lose. It was mostly yelling expletives and angry text messages."

"Wow."

"Yeah. He was mad and I was too, but in a different way. I believed that he was torturing me with things he knew we couldn't have. I thought we were on the same page as far as how we were already related. But he didn't care. About the related part. He believed that I was standing in the way of him being happy. With or without me. It wasn't fair to any party involved."

"Yikes." Emily bit her lip. "That doesn't sound like a healthy start to a relationship. Or ending, I guess. "

"It was tense," Casey agreed. "I'm sure our whole family felt it, even if they didn't know what the tension was for. "

_Casey stood over the sink, angrily scrubbing one of her mother's fancy glass plates. The set of dishes only ever came out for special occasions and Casey was the only one unafraid enough to wash them. They were plates, for Herman's sake, not ice crystals. And the way Casey was attacking them with the dish brush, one wouldn't think they could have been delicate at all._

_She was angry. Not at the dishes, but their owner. Her mother had allowed herself to be conned into hosting a family holiday party. Casey's grandmother had been convinced that she was dying for the past ten years, and at 85, had convinced her daughters that this might be her last Christmas. So, Nana Susan had guilted Nora into throwing a holiday party. Which meant Casey had been forced to return to London. _

_It was the last place she wanted to be; she didn't need the reminder that Derek was back in Canada or that he was furious with her. She didn't want to spend the holidays remembering him. He wasn't worth it. Remembering him wasn't anyway; it didn't do her any good and usually left her more upset at him than anything else. It was not Christmas-y, but seemed the mood that would taint the season. She let a dish fall back into the water as she pushed her hair off her forehead with her wrist. She felt a tap on her shoulder and braced herself, not turning right away. If it was her Nana again, telling her that she didn't have to wash anything while stacking another dirty dish onto the looming pile next to the sink, she might accidentally break something on purpose. _

_ "We need to talk," Derek growled, very near her hear. She stiffened at his closeness, willing herself not to fall over or start yelling. _

_ "I can't," she replied, yanking her elbow out of his grip. "I'm busy." Her mother's entire family was in the other room. There was no way she was going to converse with him now. Statistically speaking, they tended to be on the louder side and, with his lack of tact, something unmentionable might be mentioned. And she was still mad at him. _

_ "Look, you can make this easy or you can make it difficult; I don't care. We're gonna talk. Now."_

_ "No," she moved away from him quickly. Water dribbled down her rubber gloves and onto the rug in front of the sink. "I don't want to talk to you. At all. Just leave me alone."_

_ "Stop being a bitch for five minutes and come outside," he was frustrated._

_ "How about you stop being selfish for five minutes?" She pulled the gloves off over her fingers." My entire family is out there right now, Derek; they are having a party, in case you missed that memo. I'm not going anywhere with you."_

_Derek rolled his eyes. "Really? I hadn't noticed that we had guests, especially when Victoria sat on me earlier." Casey crossed her arms and bit back a retort that would only make her sound catty or jealous. Which she was not. Because he was an adult and was allowed to do whatever he wanted. She narrowed her eyes at him, but she kept quiet. "Let's go," his voice was softly demanding she do what he wanted. But she wasn't ready. _

_ "No. What part of 'I'm not talking to you' are you not getting?"_

_ "We can do this outside or I can start making a scene in the front room; it's up to you."_

_ "The front room? Really? You'd voluntarily terrify everyone in there?" Casey didn't believe him. He had a sense of morals and knew right from wrong. At least, as far as she knew. He laughed loudly once. _

_ "You'd be surprised what I'd do when I'm angry enough." He stared right at her and she put a hand on the counter to keep from taking a step backward. She had planned on calling his bluff; making him carry out his threat, but the way he looked at her made her hesitate. She'd seen him angry before, they fought all the time, and he'd been angry when they'd broken it off; but until now, she'd never seen him look like he did at this moment. She could almost feel the anger radiating off of his body; his fists clenched at his sides and his jaw locked. She understood how hard he must have been working to keep a calm exterior. _

_ "Fine," she blew out a breath and whipped the dish towel off her shoulder and onto the counter. "I'll go outside." She hastily untied the apron from around her waist, her shaking fingers making it difficult. She dropped it on top of the towel and looked up at him, her hands on her hips. He seemed slightly taken aback; he probably expected her to put up more of a fight. He bowed her out of the room and followed her into the snowy backyard. _

_She stopped as far from the house as the fence would allow and crossed her arms over her chest. She should have grabbed a jacket or a scarf or her boots; something to protect her from the Canadian December. She fought chattering teeth and looked up as Derek came out the back door. He threw a coat at her as he got closer and she reacted quickly to keep from being smacked in the face._

_ "What is your _problem_?" she hissed, stuffing her arms into the jacket. _

_ "I think that answer is self-explanatory, Casey."_

_ "If that were the case, I wouldn't have asked, Derek."_

_ "You have a habit of ignoring the obvious, _Casey_."_

_ "You have a habit of ignoring the rules, _Derek_."_

_ "Only when you make up rules of your own."_

_ "Oh, don't give me that. You dragged me out here, so unless you pull your head out of your ass, I'm going back inside."_

_ "I don't care if you do, Princess-" _

_ "Don't call me that," she cut across him. He didn't get to call her that. Not anymore. _

_ "I'll talk at you in there just as well." He acted as if she hadn't spoken at all. She huffed and crossed her arms. "I'm serious."_

_Casey rolled her eyes and shifted her weight. "Then spit it out. Because I was serious when I said I don't want to talk to you."_

_ "Yeah, well, tough shit, Case," he grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "We don't all get what we want." She rolled her eyes again, frustrated. _

_ "So, talk. I want to go back inside." It was quiet for a beat. Their breath hung in foggy clouds above them. _

_ "Your mom freaked out at me today."_

_ "Did you touch the party food when she told you not to?"_

_ "God! Casey! This isn't funny! It's like everything is just one big joke to you! Shut up and listen to me." Her nostrils flared as she took a very controlled breath in and then let it out, fighting to keep silent. His tone had been so blunt and full of hate that she struggled to appear unfazed. "Your mom is under the warped impression that we talk to each other. She thinks you've cracked and gone off the deep end. You're applying to law school? And for that promotion? During busy season? Jesus, Casey, are you trying to kill yourself?"_

_ "So, what? I'm staying busy, it's not anything I can't handle."_

_ "Really? Because I don't think so. Do you even know what you're doing?"_

_ "Of course I know what I'm doing," she lied. She knew it was probably the biggest lie she had ever told him, even as the words spilled out of her mouth. She wanted to be too busy to think about him. She'd done it before; it was a perfectly normal coping mechanism. Ultimately, it wouldn't matter that she'd lived a couple of months just going through the motions. _

_ "God, Casey, I can feel you forgetting me, and it's killing me," he said, all on one breath. He dropped his head and kicked at the snow with the toe of his shoe. "I was so in love with you." He shook his head, as if loving her had been his own stupidity. Casey felt like her heart had fallen into the snow at her feet. Even if she was mad at him, they had been happy and it hurt to suppose that he might think it all had been stupid. She swallowed hard as he sniffed. "Fuck. I'm still in love with you." _

_What?_

_Casey's gaze shot up to his face, pulse racing. He still loved her. She ran her eyes over his features. Behind the anger and hurt that were so clearly composed lingered a desperate hope. The lights of the house made the tears welling in his eyes shine. She felt a lump form in her throat and her nose began to run. She let out a shaky breath and sniffed. _

_He was making everything more difficult. She had drawn her lines and was determined to live by them. She had to set the moral standard somewhere. Even if it killed her, she needed rules by which to abide. And there were days where she was sure she would die of heartache. Why did it have to be him?_

_ "Casey, I want you to know that I'm still here. Against my better judgment, I still want to marry you. We can have everything you want, Case," he took a small step towards her as she started shaking her head. She'd never stopped loving him. How was she supposed to give him up again? "We can have that, Casey, if you want it badly enough. I know I am willing to fight for that. With you."_

_ "Derek," she warned in a whisper, casually brushing a tear from under her eyelashes. They were quiet enough that anyone at the house couldn't hear them; it would only sound like a normal conversation. Even if that was so far from the truth. _

_ "Every relationship takes work. And I know that you and I are worth it. I know that. You just have to want it, too."_

_ "Derek, stop," she breathed. It wouldn't work. She knew that. No matter how badly she wished for it, it wasn't going to work. They already shared a family. That wasn't something they could change or fix. _

_ "We'd be unconventional, but it's worth it, Princess. What you and I have is worth that."_

_Her head was pounding when he finished. She stared at him. This was what she had done to him. Reduced him to a boy willing to lay his heart on his sleeve. Willing to let her shoot him down again, for the small chance that her answer might have changed. Because he had to know that she couldn't possibly say yes to him. Her chest hurt, like a giant weight had been placed right over her lungs. He was completely serious and yet couldn't be. She was confused and angry and in pain. It was the pet name that made her angry. How could he think that they would be normal if they just wanted it enough?_

_And suddenly he was too close. He pressed his mouth to hers in a desperate, shaky, open-mouthed kiss. It took all she had to not sink into him; a beat passed before she could control herself again._

_ "No!" Casey jerked back, pushing against his chest. "You can't do that, Derek. You can't just kiss me and make everything else go away. It doesn't make things better!"_

_He winced and put a hand up. "Okay. Okay." Casey ran her hands through her hair._

_ "How are you still doing this to me?" she whispered. She was exasperated and couldn't think straight. She looked around, but he stood between her and the door. _

_His brows narrowed at her accusation. "How are you still doing this to _me_? I know you still love me but you're not willing to trust me at all."_

_ "Trust you? Derek, it's not about trusting you!" She took two steps to her left before returning to directly in front of him. "I'm not the only one who made a choice here. I tried to compromise, but you weren't willing to meet me halfway. So, I'm done digging my heels in with you, Derek. I'm going back to Kingston tomorrow and you'll go back to Ottawa and we'll all get on with our lives," she spat the last part out with more bitterness than she'd wanted. She breathed heavy breaths in and out. She was not going to cry._

_ "Case," his voice was too soft as he reached out to her._

_ "Don't touch me, Derek," she growled at him, but the bite had left her voice. She had missed him and couldn't logic herself out of his embrace. He hugged her and it was like going home; he was warm and gentle and smelled unreasonably good. Her knees nearly gave out from underneath him as he held her. She couldn't command her arms from clinging to him, just as she couldn't command her lungs to stop breathing. He moved to kiss her again before Casey remembered that they were in the backyard of their parents' house. With her mother's whole family inside. _

_ "No," she gasped air, struggling to remember her resolve. "We can't. There's no way for us, for this, to work."_

_ "Fuck that. There's always a way." _

_She closed her eyes. "Don't say that, Derek," she whispered. Not sure if she meant his choice of words or the message his words meant. "What could anyone think of us? There is no way." They were trapped. She was trying to find the courage and the willpower to tell him no one more time. To deny him what they both wanted from each other. To tell them both no._

_ "Fuck everyone else."_

_ "Derek," she said sadly, the words ghosting out of her mouth. _

_ "It won't matter." His thumb brushed her cheek. She took a few sporadic breaths as she tried to control the rhythm of her diaphragm, pulling in the icy winter air. _

_ "Then how come it does?" She sniffed and wiped under her eyes with her knuckles. Derek shifted his weight and nodded, chewing his tongue. She took one step back before walking around him, giving him a wide berth, just in case he felt like reaching for her again. It had been one of the hardest things she'd done; she wasn't sure she could do it again. _

_The warmth of the house felt wonderful and welcoming as Casey stepped into the mud room. She shrugged out of the coat that was not hers and moved into the kitchen. The sink sat full of half used dish water. She brushed past Derek's mother on her way into the front room. The rest of the dishes could wait. Just now she needed a drink. _

"Yikes," Emily muttered into her hands. Her nails clicked against her teeth before she dropped her palms to the table. Casey nodded, sadly, running her finger around the edge of her empty mug.

"And that's where I left it with him," she confessed, not looking up. Emily made a face.

"What does that mean?"

"We didn't talk about it again."

"Yeah, right," Emily narrowed her brows. "You said barrage. That was hardly a barrage, especially by the standards the two of you set. Remember when he threw you in my pool?" Casey laughed, smirking a little.

"Oh, quite well." She'd given all of his CDs to Marti along with a permanent marker and let her draw whatever she wanted. On both sides. "He had painted black 'x' marks on all of my bras."

"See what I mean?" Emily insisted. "So, that was no barrage. When did the shit hit the fan?"

"I just told you," Casey smiled, sadly. It was the moment of truth. "I walked inside and needed a drink."

_Casey sat at the table with her mostly empty wine glass. It had been the longest day of her adult life. She was ready for everyone to leave so she could go to bed and end this night. She could still feel his lips on hers. She stood and went into the kitchen for the open wine bottle. Because that's what she wanted. _

_She heard a shout and a tinkling of glass over the noise of the party. Great. Broken glass. Perfect. As she went to investigate, Marti skidded into the kitchen from behind the stairs._

_ "Casey!" she said, quickly. "Don't -" but that was all Casey heard before someone's beverage splashed in her face._

_ "Oh, my God," Vicki exclaimed, her empty glass clutched in her fist. "You slut." She stood there looking indignant as Casey sputtered._

_ "Oh, my God! Vicki?"_

_ "Victoria!" Fiona gasped at her daughter. _

_ "I knew it! I knew there had to have been something wrong with Miss Perfect!" _

_ "What?" Casey shook her arms, letting the liquid drip onto the carpet. _

_ "I knew there was something so twisted and wrong about you! I knew you couldn't be as extraordinary as you pretend you are. I knew you were some sort of freak!" Casey stared at her cousin, panting slightly from the chill of the drink running down her dress. _

_For years, Vicki had had a desperate need for attention. Any kind of attention: positive or negative; physical or verbal. She'd even told their grandmother that she was pregnant before dramatically exclaiming that she'd lost it four months later when she was asked about it. Fiona had to reassure her mother that Victoria had never actually been knocked up, much to her own embarrassment. So, when she started screeching at Casey, their family paid very little attention. But the pretend privacy didn't last long.  
_

_ "I heard her!" Victoria continued. "I heard Abby tell your mom your little secret." Casey's mind raced to think of something Abby might have known that Vicki might believe was a secret about her. When did Abby even get here? Sure, Casey passed her in the kitchen, but what would she know? "She knows, your mom knows, George knows, and now everyone knows!"_

_ "Knows what? That you eavesdrop on conversations?" Casey wiped at her face with a sticky hand. Vicki's assertions and confidence in what she had heard had caught the room's attention; their family stopped pretending they weren't listening to the argument. _

_ "Ha! Like that's as bad as you!" Vicki seethed. "I can't _believe_ you yelled at me for the exact same thing! But now I see why." Her lip cured up in a poisoned smile. "You wanted him all for you."_

_ "What are you _talking_ about?" Casey asked. But her voice was steadier than she felt. Her heart had caught in her throat. Her cousin couldn't possibly know what Casey feared she was talking about. How could she? They had been so careful. _

_ "That's nice, Casey. Just pretend you don't know."_

_ "I _don't_ kn-"_

_ "Just pretend you're not the home-wrecking slut I know you are. You can't hide from me; I heard them. Everyone knows. Everyone knows how you like to keep things personal." Casey was panting a little as her brain went into panic mode. _

_ "How much have you had to drink, Vicki?" Heads turned as Derek emerged on the upstairs landing. How he'd gotten upstairs, Casey didn't know, but seeing him there just served to further terrify her._

_ "Not enough to erase what I heard, Prince Charming," Victoria glared at him._

_ "Maybe enough to make you think you're hearing things?" he smirked, leaning his elbows against the banister. Vicki shook her head, smiling too widely._

_ "You're not charming yourself out of this one, sweetie," she hummed. "Not this time." She turned to Casey, "neither of you are."_

_ "Vicki, don't-" Casey started, stepping towards her._

_ "Don't what? Don't tell your whole family what you've been doing? Don't let everyone know you're not as perfect as they think you are? Don't share that you've screwing your brother for years?"_

_The silence that followed pressed painfully against Casey's eardrums. She swallowed hard, her breathing erratic. _

_ "Well, step, technically," Marti squeaked from behind Casey. "Stepbrother."_

_ "Like that makes a difference!" Vicki screeched. "They're related. It has the word 'brother' in the title. It's sick," she turned to Casey, "you freak!" She spat the last word, trying to inflict as much pain as possible. _

_The front door opened. Nora, George, and Abby all filed in, followed closely by a gust of Canadian winter. Nora looked as if someone had slapped her across the face and George seemed extremely angry. Muscles in his jaw were pulsing as was a vein near his temple. _

_ "See?" Vicki trumpeted. "See? I told you!" She pointed accusingly at her cousin. "They know what you did!"_

_ "Casey?" George called to her, not aware of the dramatics taking place in his living room. "Derek? I would like a word." He tried to motion them into privacy but Victoria gave a merciless laugh._

_ "We've just been having a lovely chat, Uncle George!" she grinned._

_ "Vicki, please," Casey started._

_ "About how your son and your wife's daughter-" _

_ "Vicki!"_

_ "-have been going at it for _years._" Victoria ignored Casey's protests and barreled through the confession that was not hers. "You know, doing it? It's nice to know that we're keeping it in the family."_

_The room was eerily quiet. Nora's family attempted to blend into the furniture and pretend that they were invisible ears to this upheaval. Abby cleared her throat._

_ "I just, sorry, I only though there might be an interest, George, I didn't know-"_

_ "You've done enough, Abby," George told her, his voice steel. _

_ "Mom?" Derek narrowed his eyebrows._

_ "In the yard, I thought I was probably right. It was supposed to be a joke. I just-I thought they knew. We'd talked about it before this ever-" _

_ "Abby!" George bellowed. "Enough."_

_Casey had never known George to yell at anyone. Sure, he had been a disciplinarian and had made rules, but he had usually gone for the disappointed approach. Casey's knees began to tremble as Abby fell silent, swallowing her tongue. _

_ "Isn't that a pretty picture?" Vicki cackled. She stepped out from between Casey and the trio of adults clustered in the front entryway. Fiona harshly grabbed her daughter's arm and began to furiously whisper in her ear as she marched them into the kitchen. "Oh, sure," she yelled, making her disruptive exit. "They have sex and I get punished." The room quieted. _

_ "Is there merit to this?" George's stare was icy as he evaluated Casey's face. She was shaking, unable to control her hands or her vocal cords. "Are you trying to be funny, Abby?" he asked, turning to his first wife._

_ "No, George, I thought that-"_

_ "Because this can't seriously be happening."_

_ "We talked about this, George. When I met Nora, we said-"_

_ "Not now." George was unwilling to let Abby finish a sentence on the matter._

_ "Mom, I can explain," Casey took a small step toward her mother, trying to control the tremor in her voice. Nora countered with a step back. She was blinking hard, as if trying to focus her vision. Her mouth was slightly agape as she regarded her daughter. She tried to speak several times before her voice would cooperate. _

_ "Un-unless you are going to tell me that this is a sick version of the pranks," she shook her head, cutting herself off. "No," she finally stated. "No, there is no acceptable explanation of this."_

_ "Mom," Casey croaked, her heart hammering loudly in her chest. Nora's eyes had closed as she leaned against George for stability and support. _

_ "I don't know where we went wrong," she whispered. "It has to be our fault; it's always the parents' fault." She looked to George, standing behind her. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Casey's pulse raced through her body as her mother muttered mostly to herself. _

_ "It can't be our fault, Nora," George soothed her, his arms around her shoulders. "This is not an environmental thing or a nurturing characteristic; no, we couldn't have," he paused. "Who could guess that their children would engage in-"he stopped speaking as his face blanched of color and a green, sweaty sheen graced his complexion. "I can't even say it." He rested his forehead on the back of Nora's hair. There were quiet murmurs of agreement from the family members around them. Everyone seemed to have similar sentiments. Casey wished at that moment that the carpet would simply absorb her; she wanted to die._

_ "What is your problem?"Derek sounded indignant. "It's not like we're actually related." He stepped lightly down the stairs, a clam appearance in place as the whole room seemed to gawk at him. _

_ "You _are_ actually related," George deadpanned. "You are the definition of actually related. Relation by marriage qualifies as an actual relationship."_

_ "I met her in high school, dad. I was sixteen; it's not like we grew up together or anything." _

_ "How does that change anything?" George insisted, looking up from Nora's shoulder. Derek's interpretation of the facts was baffling. Nora's family whispered to each other, creating a din of condemnation that floated around the room. Derek's expression and the fists clenched in his pockets hinted at his emotional state; far different from everyone else._

_ "It kind of negates the whole sibling thing," he explained, uncurling a fist. He looked quickly at Casey."We were too old to build any familial bond."_

_ "But too young, obviously, to be an adult about the situation," George countered._

_ "What is that supposed to-"_

_ "Why is this even a discussion?" George cut his son off. He looked at his wife and her daughter before continuing. "We're their parents. We can get them the help they obviously need." He nodded, sure of himself. Casey stomach churned at the look on his face. "We can fix this. There are places, people, who specialize in this." George acted as though he were only speaking to Nora, speaking in private instead of to an entire room full of his wife's family. _

_ "Dad?" Derek sounded slightly concerned as his father continued to nod. _

_ "It'll all work out in the end," George tucked Nora's hair behind her ear. "We can still fix them; fix this. You'll see."_

_Casey was in full panic. George was losing it. Was he going to have them imprisoned? Locked in an asylum? Her maternal relatives were chattering to themselves about emotional and mental stability. No one would look at her; there was no sympathy anywhere. _

_ "Dad," Derek said, louder than the first, demanding his father's attention. "Why are you acting like we're insane?"_

_ "Because, Derek, I believe that finding out that my son is," George choked over his word choice, "sleeping with my," he struggled to define Casey, "daughter is pretty insane."_

_ "Step, George," Abby corrected, "stepdaughter." George ignored her. _

_ "Obviously, you both need serious psychological help. We can work this out."_

_Casey could feel the walls closing in around her. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought she might burst. She felt hopeless in a sea of judgment. As she looked around the room at her worst nightmare taking form, her gaze caught on her sister. Lizzie was looking at Casey without truly seeing her; a blank, unknowing stare._

_ "Is that why you stopped coming home?" Liz asked, barely above a whisper._

_ "My job in Kingston-" Casey started._

_ "For Christmas and summers. Is that why I stopped seeing you? All those times you traveled? Were you just going to see him?" Casey swallowed, unable to answer. But her silence spoke louder than an explanation. "I always trusted you with stuff. With everything! My secrets," she shook her head. "But you didn't trust me? You didn't even think of me? Of us?" she gestured to Marti and Edwin. "Did you even miss me?"_

_ "Liz," Casey tried, but her sister choked on a sob and cut her off._

_ "How could you be so selfish?" Lizzie backed away._

_ "It's okay," Edwin told her, standing. He placed a hand on Liz's shoulder. George made a gurgling noise._

_ "Edwin!" he eyed his younger son. "We need to watch them more closely," he told Nora. _

_ "Oh, come on, Dad," Edwin narrowed his eyes in Derek's direction. "I'm not that crazy." He turned to face his brother completely. "I'm glad I was significant enough to mooch off of, dude, and trustworthy enough to know about your prank victims and your petty problems. Thanks for letting me know how important I was in the scheme of things."_

_ "Ed," Derek explained. "You already knew. Or at least I thought you did." Edwin scoffed. "I trust you, man, but this was," he sucked in a breath, "complicated."_

_ "Obviously. It's okay that I was too simple-minded to understand big, important grown-up stuff, like you screwing my stepsister."_

_ "Edwin," Casey started. _

_ "Just forget it. Forget both of you." He took the stairs two at a time and slammed his bedroom door. _

_ "Smer?" Marti whispered. "Couldn't you have been a grown up about this?"_

_ "What?" Marti seemed to be the only person unfazed by the commotion. _

_ "I mean, you could have done this a little smarter. You're kind of an idiot."_

_ "Thanks, Smarts," he said, unsure. Marti pulled a face at him, like she was in pain, and walked over to her mother. _

_ "You see?" George shook his head. "Your problems have plagued our whole family. What you do affects us, too. But, of course, you have an excuse for everything."_

_ "George, it just happened," Casey defended. _

_ "You are both inherently selfish and extremely stubborn about things you know nothing about."_

_ "Casey never had this problem," Nora said, softly. George turned to her._

_ "Derek, well, he wasn't ever this bad on his own." He brushed her face. "It's okay, once we separate them-"_

_ "Hold it," Derek yelled, holding both of his hands up. "I'm done with this shit. We," he pointed at Casey, coming to stand between her and their parents, "are done with this shit. We're adults. What we do is really none of your business."_

_ "You are our children. It most certainly is our business!" Nora cried, her voice loud for the first time in a long while. _

_ "We can disown you," George told his son, stone-faced._

_ "Dad, we're not eight. We both have jobs. Hell, I have a 401K for Christ's sake. I pay for everything myself. And it's Dennis that helps Casey with her house and her car so you'd have to talk to him." Derek looked dramatically around the living room. "But, look at that, he's not here! He wouldn't care if Casey sold paraphernalia out of there as long as she didn't bother him while she did it!" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "And even if he did care, rent and car insurance payments are not going to make me leave her."_

_ "I didn't mean financially, Derek," George warned. "That's not really how to disown someone."_

_ "What do you mean?" Derek sounded on edge._

_ "I can't do this. I won't do this. I cannot sit here and watch my son and a young woman I have regarded as my daughter be involved together in a romantic way. I can't advocate it. I won't let it stand. I'm not having that in my house."_

_ "So, we'll stay away from your house," Derek bit out from behind clenched teeth. Casey took a step forward. She knew that voice. She knew that Derek was using his anger to hide how hurt he was at his father's words. She had always feared this moment, but maybe Derek had been more optimistic. _

_ "I mean it, Derek," George threatened. "I'm not going to change my mind about this." _

_A hot tear coursed down Casey's cheek. She could see the tear tracks on her mother's face as she clung to her husband. _

_ "Mom?" she tried, timidly. "Mom? Mother?" Nora closed her eyes, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Casey was already estranged with her father; she couldn't bear the thought of not having her mother there. "Mom?" she choked on the last desperate plea and felt Derek slip his hand into hers. She looked up at him, as if she'd forgotten he was there and real. Up close, she could see that tears had also stained his face, next to the spattering of freckles near his nose. _

_ "I still love you, Casey," Nora sniffed, wiping unsuccessfully at streaming eyes, "But I agree. I can't support this. Don't you know how wrong it is?"_

_ "You'll be alone." George's cadence was flat and cold. "There won't be anyone there."_

_Casey's breathing became unregulated. She knew she would get no compassion from her family. It didn't even matter anymore that she'd given him up. Nothing else mattered to anyone else. She'd made her bed long ago and now, even though she had believed she had fixed the situation, she would now be forced to lay in it. And Derek. Even after everything she did to him, he stood by her. He didn't abandon her and hide upstairs as she was figuratively stoned by her family. He condemned himself with her. At that moment, Casey felt the definition of isolation constrict around them. _

_ "You will have no one," George finished._

_ "Well, no," Abby spoke up. "Not quiet."_

_ "Not now, Abby," George reiterated._

_ "Oh, shut up, George. Just because you're scary doesn't mean you control me."_

_ "This doesn't really concern you," George told her, annoyed. _

_ "Really? Because he's my son. So, I'd say it concerns me just as much as it concerns you, if not more so. I was the one who spent eight hours in labor with him."_

_ "Abby, I'm trying to get through to them."_

_ "No, George, you're trying to terrify them into doing what you want."_

_ "Abby."_

_ "I came to you because we'd talked about this. We thought it might happen the minute we saw her picture. I came to you because I thought it was funny. I thought you would have been adults about this and maybe would have addressed the potential problem instead of pretending it didn't exist."_

_ "Abby!" George tried again._

_ "You're telling them that they won't have anyone, but this is my fault. So, they'll have me."_

_"Mom?" Derek was staring at his mother like she had sprouted an extra head. _

_George's look mirrored his son's. "So, you're pursuing sainthood now?"_

_ "Of course not," she scoffed, tucking her purse into her shoulder. "I just love my kid."_

_ "And I don't?"_

_ "Hey, you parent your own way, and I'll parent mine."She looked at Marti who stood quietly behind her mother messing with her cell phone. Casey looked up at Derek who still appeared very stunned. Then Abby looked up at them. "Ready? I came to pick up Marti, but I would love to get you both out of here, if you'd like." Casey's breath caught in her throat._

_ "Mom?" Derek croaked again._

_ "It's okay," she smiled, holding a hand out to them. "It'll all be okay"_

"Holy hell," Emily stated.

There was a slight ringing in Casey's ears that muffled any exterior noise from the coffee shop.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"That was the barrage."

"Yes."

"Jesus Christ," Emily muttered, dropping her gaze to her hands locked together on the table before her. "I could never do that."

"Do what?"

"Anything that you just said. I would have become a sniveling ball of human on the floor for years."

"That's about how I felt," Casey agreed.

"And, oh, my God, Abby," Emily exclaimed.

"Yeah, we thought she must have been possessed or something. She was the last person we thought would ever come to our rescue."

"I would have, too! I lived next to them for years! She was pretty absent for most things."

"That's what I knew of her, too," Casey explained, "We were lucky that she had come to pick up Marti. Well, lucky that she stayed, not so lucky that she saw and heard us in the back yard."

"Wow. Good for her! So, you must," Emily started, rolling her hands in gesticulation.

"Have a really great relationship with her. It has been a really wonderful opportunity," Casey smiled. "She gets to know our family."

"What about everyone else?"

"Everyone else?"

"You know, Liz and Ed and Marti?"

"Mom and George freaked out at Liz and Ed. They never let them be alone in the same room together. I think George blew a fuse that night and couldn't tell that Lizzie and Edwin were only really good friends."

"Have you?" Emily started, trailing off .

"I haven't spoken to George or Nora in nearly four years."

"Oh, my God," she whispered. "Wow." She paused for a second and then bit her lip. "What happened next?"

* * *

Because stuff just went down! Did anyone see that coming? :) I hope I kept you on your toes...

The next chapter shouldn't be a long wait... Who knows what's next? 2,000 points to guessers! :)

So, points prize: I am thinking presents! For certain totals of points, a person could earn a story, a title, a line, or something along those lines!

Let me know what you think! The box down here is directly connected to happiness! :)

P.S. If any one has other suggestions for which to cash in their points, I'd love to hear them!


	16. Chapter 16

Hello readers! Happy February! I hope the wait wasn't too bad! I made this chapter long, just in case... Enjoy!

I am in love with the reviews! I especially enjoyed the reviews from the last chapter.

They are so wonderful! Special thank you to KaRaEa and garnetandgold47 for guessing 2,000 points each!

Disclaimer: Nope. But if anyone is looking for a Valentine present to me... :)

* * *

Casey was excited. Since she had moved to Ottawa, she had never been over to a friend's house. It sounded childish, but she had felt very alone. She never thought she would ever step foot inside Emily's house ever again. Her husband told her that she was over thinking it; that she was overly excited and that she was abandoning him to their children. Casey was pretty sure he was over reacting.

She had met Emily at her office and followed her to Emily's new house. She squealed inwardly, excited to be visiting another grown-up.

"This is it," Emily sighed, letting Casey into the front room. It was a beautiful, clean, open, white room. The furniture was classic and new. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Your house is so gorgeous," Casey exclaimed.

"Oh, thanks, Steven and I just got settled. And also you're not allowed to see any of the box filled messy rooms upstairs," Emily wiggled her eyebrows. "Drink? Tea?"

"That would be great, thanks!"

Emily pointed Casey into a chair and Casey settled into it. She spread her hands over the arms of the loveseat and admired how new and clean everything felt. It was like a fairytale; definitely not kid-friendly. But it was beautiful.

When Emily shuffled into the room in their drinks, she wore a giant smile.

"I feel so grown-up," she giggled, "entertaining in my own home."

"I haven't even done that yet," Casey confessed.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I haven't really had anyone," she trailed off. Emily nearly choked on her drink.

"Oh," she wiped her mouth, "I didn't think of that." She paused. "What happened after Abby, you know, played superhero?"

"Everything."

_Casey wasn't sure how long she had been staring at the rug under the coffee table. Her face was tired and tearstained. She didn't really know what to do with herself. _

_Abby had dropped them off in front of the hotel at which she was staying, before she went out for provisions. The trip over had been quiet. They sat on the couch silent, shaken, and afraid. Casey's curls were drooping around her shoulders, sections straightened and sticky from whatever her cousin had been drinking. Derek let out a long breath of air. Casey's eyes flicked in his direction without turning her head._

_ "Derek," she hesitated, almost nervous that he too would start yelling. He didn't move. She licked her lips and tried again. "Derek, you stood up for me."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Even after what I said to you. I mean, you would have been justified in throwing me under the bus, but," she turned to face him, "you defended me." _

_ "It doesn't matter," he brushed it off. _

_ "It does to me," she insisted. He sat stiffly for a moment before he moved away. _

_ "Don't do that."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Don't do that to me."_

_ "Don't do what to you?"_

_ "Treat me like that. Look, Casey, you've got to stop messing with me," he told her. "I mean it. I can't just be there for you now all because we're what's left in this mess; I'm not gonna do that."_

_ "Derek," she tried._

_ "I was so ready. For everything to just be out in the open. More than ready." He shook his head. "God, Case, how I felt about you. I thought that being in love with you was enough. Enough to make everything else okay. But you didn't. I was so sure that people would just get over a fucking technicality. Because I'd never felt like that before. About anyone. Not ever. And then my own father wanted to have me institutionalized. So, there you go. You were right. You're always right."_

_ "Derek, I didn't want to be right," she started._

_ "It shouldn't have been that big of a deal. I didn't know they were still convinced we'd be siblings."_

_ "Why did you think I was so scared?"_

_ "For some fucked up reason, I thought it was something normal."_

_ "What do you mean normal?"_

_ "Like what normal people freak out over. When they're seeing someone. You know?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "I'm not exactly your type, Princess," he explained._

_ "What are you talking about?"_

_ "I'm not the kind you'd usually go for, Case, you know, polite or whatever. And that's probably a good thing. It's a pain in the ass trying to keep up with you. I mean you're up and down and all over the place. And your fucking rules and everything."_

_ "I'm sorry I was such a burden," her heart squeezed, painfully tight in her chest. "You don't have to be so mean."The last insecurity came out as a whisper; she wasn't sure if she'd actually wanted to say it. _

_ "Casey, you broke my heart!" his voice echoed in the empty room. "More than once," he finished. He pushed his fingers through his hair. "Whatever."_

_ They were silent for another moment. _

_ "I just don't need you deciding you want me now that I'm the only one left." _

_Casey felt like he might as well have hit her. Tears pricked her eyes; she bit her lip to keep them at bay. He didn't want her. Not anymore. He didn't want to be her last resort. She had ruined everything. _

_Because that's never what he'd been in the first place, a last resort. He was her first choice. She had understood the moment she knew she loved him that she was done; it was him or no one. The way he made her heart flip over, the spine-tingling gooseflesh that trailed after his fingers on her skin, and the slow burning sensation that started in in his kisses intoxicated her to the point of addiction. She'd loved him. She'd never stopped loving him. He engulfed so much of her world that convincing herself to give him up nearly killed her. He'd never been her last resort. _

_But she didn't tell him, didn't correct him. She hunched her shoulders and rocked slightly forward on the couch, nearly sitting on her hands. Because she had had her chance and she had wasted it. _

_Abby kicked the door in as Marti herded rolling suitcases inside. _

_ "Okay," Abby puffed, "This is what we got." She and Marti unzipped the bag to show the shopping they'd brought back. Casey stood up away from the couch and excused herself to shower. She wanted to wash the night off and start over. Her whole life maybe. Because now she had no one and nothing. _

_As she tried to sleep in the overly starched sheets and brand new pajamas, she ran things over in her mind. She knew there was nothing that she could have done differently. And there was no one to blame but herself. She hugged her knees closer to her chest. Her feet were ice-cold. She breathed in and out very evenly. There was nothing she could control in this situation, except maybe her lungs. Until she fell asleep, anyway. She inhaled and exhaled deeply and it brought some comfort. She was still breathing. _

_ "Hey, mom?" Derek asked over a piece of toast. "What do we do about our stuff?" He flicked his wrist to indicate himself and Casey. Her gaze was locked on the table, and she watched the muscles rope up his arm at the gesticulation. The food they crammed onto the little hotel table was impressive. Casey wasn't sure she wanted to eat, but she had been served a plate anyway. Abby swallowed._

_ "Uhm," she seemed to mull it over. "Well, I could talk to George when I drop Marti off today," she sipped some juice. "I hope that'll work but," she shrugged. "You know your dad."_

_Derek groaned and leaned back in his chair, pushing it back onto two legs. Casey looked up as he gazed at her, sucking his teeth. _

_ "That is gonna be awkward," Marti commented, not looking up from her phone as she bit off part of a bacon strip. Abby sighed and raised her eyebrows in agreement. _

_ "Well, let's give it a try," Derek moaned, standing up. "I'll need my car to get out of here."_

_When they were all bundled, the four of them filed into Abby's rental car, Marti claiming the front passenger seat. Casey felt very out of place. She didn't know Abby that well, and in any case, Derek had made it very clear that he wanted no part in her life. That was fine; it was just one more thing. It was just uncomfortable to be sitting in a car with someone she had been in love with, his mother, and his sister. She looked at her hands and out the window at the white and brown snow on the sides of the road. If she could make it through this, then she could go home in peace. _

_Ten minutes out, Abby's phone buzzed and Marti pawed through her mother's purse._

_ "It's dad," she kept her voice low, as if that would prevent her brother and Casey from hearing in the backseat. "He says they're not home." _

_ Abby started to respond as Marti's phone started playing loud music. _

_ "Hey, dad," Marti chirped into her phone. "No, we're in the car," she paused, as George mumbled something on the other end. "Well, she's driving, dad. I know I read it. Okay, where are you? Are you with her? Okay, so where are you?" She paused again and made a face. "Yes, I'm wearing boots and a hat. This isn't my first winter. If you don't tell me where you are, mom can't drop me off. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. Bye." She flipped her phone shut and sighed. "Nora went to the hotel with her mom and George took everyone else out. He didn't want to be in the house for a while. He wants to know if you will please drop me off with him at the movies so he can yell at you quietly in private."_

_Abby blew out a breath. "Okay, great," she pulled the car onto the house's street. "Der," she turned around in her seat. "Want to just get your stuff and I'll swing back in a bit?"_

_ "Yeah, sure," he grumbled, shoving his door open. Abby smiled at Casey as she reached for the door handle. Casey gave her a small smile in return, suddenly uncomfortable at the amount of pity directed at her. _

_Derek waited for her on the sidewalk his hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat. Casey adjusted at her own coat as she pulled on her mittens. They had a four block walk before the house.  
As Abby pulled away from the curb, the snow slowly began to fall. Derek looked at his boots and shuffled his feet before gaining a normal stride beside Casey._

_ "When was your flight out?" he asked, looking up instead of at her. She was a little taken aback at his initiating conversation. _

_ "Tomorrow at 3," she replied. _

_ "Are you just going to go straight home?"_

_ "Well, I don't really have anything else anymore so, yeah, that was my plan."_

_ "Whoa," he slowed his pace. "I was just asking. You weren't the only one who got disowned last night."_

_ "Well, it kind of feels like it."_

_ "What does that mean?"_

_ "You still have people, Derek! Your mom and Marti. They're still here!"_

_ "Yeah, I guess."_

_ "I have no one. Actually no one. It's not like I could call my dad and have him magically be there for me; that's just not how it works with him. My mom's probably already called him anyway. I literally have no body. Everyone is gone; my mother, my sister, my stepfamily," she swallowed, "you. I'm alone. There is no one left." _

_They walked in silence for a moment, boots crunching in old snow._

_ "They aren't dead," he mumbled after a few more steps._

_ "What?"_

_ "Your family. They didn't die."_

_ "Yeah, I know. What's that got to do with anything?"_

_ "Well, you could go talk to them."_

_ "Why? So they can call me more names and have me put in a padded cell? I'd rather not."_

_ "You could," he shrugged. "If you wanted them back, you could just go through the motions and come out clean on the other side." She looked up at him. He was back to staring at his feet. _

_ "Why would I do that?"_

_ "You'd have the support system you said you needed. You wouldn't have to worry about clashing with them about anything more minor."_

_ "What would that solve?"_

_ "Well," he seemed to chew his tongue, "when we were, you know, fighting, you didn't want to rock the boat."_

_ "What boat?"_

_ "The stepfamily one."_

_ "Well, it got rocked. I think it actually sunk."_

_ "And you don't feel like resurrecting it?"_

_ "I don't think so."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because, as much as I believed I relied on them, they judged me for doing something for myself for once."_

_ "I was something for yourself?" he smirked at her._

_ "Shut up. Doing something out of my character."_

_ "And you don't want to go back on it?"_

_ "I can't. I mean, do you remember what they said?"_

_ "Yeah, I think that will be burned into my memory. But if you changed your mind, you wouldn't have to deal with what everyone thinks. You'll be the rehabilitated one. You know, mostly normal."_

_ "Rehabilitated?" she struggled with the word. She'd though of her affection for Derek as an addiction but not one from which she needed to be rehabilitated. "I don't think I want to do that. Even if I did, it would never undo what they said or what they wanted to do."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because that hurt. It was worse than anything I could have imagined." She pushed her fists into her pockets as they reached the house._

_ "Yeah. That was pretty fucked up."_

_ "Derek," she scolded out of habit. _

_ "I know, I know," he grinned. He ushered her up the front steps, shuffled in his pockets for his key, and let them inside. _

_The house was just as they had left it. There were glasses on all of the surfaces, a pile of plates next to the sink still full of water. There were dried puddle marks on the floor from dropped or thrown drink._

_ "It's like a ground zero in here," Casey whispered, looking around. Jackets were haphazardly piled on the floor under the coat hook and all of the lights were off. It was stunning. _

_ "Come on, Case," he put a hand on the small of her back and followed her up the stairs. _

_As she stuffed things into her suitcase, she was happy that she was an organized packer. She was able to fit her clothing, her shoes, and the small amount of items that she had resolved to leave at her mother's house when she moved. Now she was determined her erase herself from their house. She wrapped pictures of Liz and herself in shirts and gifts they'd made each other. She was going to preserve it all. Maybe they would miss her first. _

_She jumped as she noticed him in her doorway. "Ready?" he asked, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder."_

_ "Almost," she shook her bangs away from her eyes. "Is that all you brought?"_

_ "Basically," he shrugged. "Plus I drove so I can just stuff anything else in my car."_

_ "Lucky," she mumbled, as she carefully wrapped another picture of herself, Marti, and Liz at Lizzie's high school graduation. _

_ "I plan ahead."_

_ "For this?" Casey didn't believe him. He shrugged again and she rolled her eyes. She flipped the lid of her bag closed and zipped it carefully shut. She grabbed her purse off of her desk chair, packed in her laptop, stuffed her phone charger into its specific pocket, and swung the strap over her shoulder. She gave the room a last glance, hoping all evidence of her was stripped from the room. _

_ "God, Case, you even took the posters?"_

_ "I bought them," she justified, setting her suitcase upright. They walked out to the steps, the house eerily quiet. "I don't want to be here anymore."_

_ "Okay, well, do you know where I put my keys?"_

_ "You just had them."_

_ "I know. And now I don't. Where did they go?"_

_ "I don't know; they're your keys. In your pocket? On your desk? On the key hook where they were supposed to go?" _

_ "Nah, I checked there; those were the obvious places."He stepped down the stairs shaking his head._

_ "Did you check the door?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "You've left keys in the door before."_

_He narrowed his eyebrows at her as he opened the door. His keys clanked against the wood and Casey pressed her lips together. _

_ "Don't say it," Derek warned._

_ "I'm not saying anything," she said, innocently. She walked out of the door behind him and watched as he shut and locked it behind them. He nodded toward his car and grabbed the end of her bag as she trooped down the stairs. _

_ He helped her fit her bag into his back seat around the other items he'd shoved in before Abby made it back. _

_ "It's freezing," Derek complained, crossing his arms and leaning against the newly closed door. _

_ "And snowing," Casey commented. He nodded. "What's going on with you?" _

_ "What? I'm cold." His answer didn't cover the smirk gracing his lips._

_ "Why are you smiling? I mean, last night you were yelling at me and now you're all," she couldn't think of the word she wanted and just gestured at him._

_ "All what?" he asked, a smile starting._

_ "I don't know, gushy," she finished lamely. His grin was genuine and solid._

_ "I can't be optimistic?"_

_ "It's weird," she scrunched her nose. "We were disowned and thrown out of our family less than twelve hours ago."_

_ "I know."_

_ "And you're smiling."_

_ "So?" he raised an eyebrow at her._

_ "What's going on?"_

_ "Case, I was pissed earlier because I thought you were trying to be all friendly after you stomped all over me just because we were in the same boat."_

_ "Thanks for your high opinion of me," she pouted._

_ "I thought that the only reason you would say yes to me now was because I was the only one left," he smiled again, "but you said you wouldn't take them back. You said that even if they would take you back, you wouldn't take them back."_

_ "Which you didn't take to mean now that they hate me, I'd stick with you?"_

_ "What? Is that what you meant?"_

_ "No, stupid. I tried to pick you the first time."_

_ "Not really," he grumbled._

_ "Derek, I was terrified of the seriousness," she started._

_ "I know, I get that. Now. I was under the tragic impression that it couldn't be that big of a deal. Which, when yelled at my face, was not the case." He smiled again. "But guess what?"_

_ "What Der?" He pulled at the pockets on her coat to bring her closer to him. _

_ "You picked me, Princess" he grinned hugely and embraced her. "Over all of them." And he kissed her. _

Emily seemed to melt into her seat. "Aw," she cooed. "That's so sweet!"

"It was nice to have someone there for me," she nodded. "Even if we had a rough time getting there."

Emily nodded, still seeming to be in a fog.

"What happened after?"

"I had a job." Casey smiled, "we both went home."

"You liar," Emily laughed. "I mean you're obviously—" Then she gasped. "Oh, my God!" she stood suddenly, and made for the stairs. "I have to show you my dress! Don't move an inch!"

* * *

I love playing dress up! It makes me feel pretty...

We're coming up on the end; what could possibly go wrong? :)

Any thoughts?1,500 points to twist thinkers...

I'm thinking that the point scale will be along the 5,000s. The highest points will earn a story premise. Lower points will earn maybe a one-shot, a title, etc.

Let me know! Reviews are better than Valentine chocolates... :)


	17. Chapter 17

Happy March! Spring is almost here! It's been raining like CRAZY! But here is the next installment!

Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews; they were the best Valentines ever!

1,500 points to garnetandgold47 and bonniereads and stars4redvines for your guesses! I really love reading your thoughts. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: How long am I supposed to disclaim? I still own nothing. I had to ask for gas money yesterday; it's

* * *

Casey sat in the oversized armchair, her knees bouncing up and down. She heard fumbling and movement upstairs before she heard Emily's voice, muffled by the ceiling. Casey moved cautiously towards the stairs, following the noise, just in case.

"Emily?" she called, reaching the upstairs landing.

"Don't come up!" Emily called, "it is such a mess!"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she muttered, followed by more fumbles, the sound of boxes falling and Emily swearing. "Don't judge me."

"I would never," Casey laughed, "Can I come in?" There was a slight pause before Emily responded.

"On one condition," she threatened.

"Okay," Casey agreed, before she knew what she was agreeing to, and not really caring, so long as Emily trusted her.

"You can come in, as long as you tell me about your wedding."

"_We should get married." Casey nearly swallowed her fork. That was not what she was expecting when she asked him what was up._

_ "What?" she coughed, when she could finally breathe._

_ "Married. You and me."_

_ "You're crazy."_

_ "Well, why not? I love you and you love me." _

_ "We can't get married." _

_ "Why?" _

_ "It's too soon."_

_ "What? We've been, you know, you and me for years."_

_ "I didn't mean that."_

_ "Is this about you not being thirty?"_

_ "What? Oh, no-"_

_ "Because four years is a long time to wait around."_

_ "No, Derek, I just meant that we got thrown out of our family less than a month ago."_

_ "I know. So what? There's not a rule on timing or anything."_

_ "It's a little tacky."_

_ "Why? I don't think so."_

_ "Well," she looked down at her plate sadly, "no one would come."_

_ "Oh, Case," his voice was quieter, comforting, as he reached out for her hand_

_She shook her head and pulled her arm away to discreetly cover her face with her napkin , "it's just too soon."_

_ "Case, how would any of that change if we waited?" She shrugged sadly. "So, either way, whenever we get married, we'll still be the bad guys. We might as well be happy about it. Right?"_

_He had a point. Even if they threw the big white wedding she thought she always wanted, which they couldn't afford, it wouldn't make a difference. Her mother would never be there. They would always have judged and condemned her without evidence. She couldn't rely on them ever again. Her only constant was Derek. And he was looking at her from under his eyelashes, which was really unfair. She took a deep breath in order to gather her thoughts. _

_ "Okay," she decided, "You're right. Let's do it."_

"So, you went and got married?" Emily squealed through the door.

"Well, not immediately," Casey qualified, leaning back against the door from her position on the floor. "I'm a planner, so I started looking at houses and jobs so we could live together. I made a budget and did research; I wanted to feel like I got everything I'd hoped for. And so did Derek. He found a very economical and perfect for us officiate and location."

"What do you mean by perfect for you? You weren't married by Elvis Presley or anything, were you?" Casey laughed.

"No, although Derek lobbied for some TV sports icon before he saw my binders of ideas."

"That probably sobered him up," Emily snorted. "Oh, dammit," she muttered. "Casey?" Her voice was very near the door. Casey scrambled to her feet.

"Yeah?"

"Could you- Can you do up the laces?" Emily asked in a small voice, poking her head around the door.

"Of course!" Emily stepped out of her room, glowing. Casey could tell immediately how special the dress made Emily feel. The wide smile on her face was very telling.

"What do you think?" she asked Casey, shyly.

"Oh, my God," Casey gushed, "Emily, you look so beautiful!"

Emily beamed and fiddled with the ends of ribbons that were supposed to lace up her back. "Would you mind?" she asked, holding them out to Casey. Casey secured the back of the bodice as Emily swayed in front of her mirror, admiring herself. "It's so new." Her voice was quiet, but her smile made her eyes light up. "I can't stop smiling." She spun in a slow circle, trying to see as much of the dress as she could.

"Oh, you shouldn't! You look amazing! It is a gorgeous dress!" Emily giggled.

"I feel so pretty." She gazed at herself in the mirror. Casey beamed at her friend's happiness. The excitement was contagious. Emily piled her curls on top of her head and then explained how she was unsure how she wanted to have her hair, and still hadn't decided about a veil. She brought out three pairs of heels and played dress-up. Casey was having an amazing time. Planning was her favorite; her husband said it was because she was bossy. But she loved knowing how things work and how they all fit together.

"I like either the gold or the navy," Casey mentioned, looking at the shoes peeking out from under Emily's skirt as she held it up.

"Not white?" Emily bit her lip, her head cocked at her reflection.

"It'll give a pop of color," Casey explained, "plus, not everyone will notice your shoes, unless you're planning on hiking your skirt up." The two women laughed good heartedly and admired the outfit for a little longer, feeling like high schoolers again.

"Okay," Emily shook herself a little, "It's time to get out of this thing before I ruin it. Or, you know, forget to take it off before Steve comes home." She gave one last twirl before having Casey unlace the back.

Emily carefully folded the dress into its place in her closet with a silly look on her face. Casey smiled at her, remembering full well the emotions that put that same expression on her face.

"I know," Emily breathed. "I look crazy. Steve says I look lost or drugged a lot of the time now."

"No, you look like you're getting married," Casey assured her. "It's completely normal, trust me."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, plus when it gets closer, if you're anything like me, Steven will want those looks back instead of- "

"Bridzilla?" Emily guessed.

"Not exactly," Casey laughed. "More like, 'do what I say because I said so and don't ask questions; it's my wedding.'"

"What's the difference?"

"A budget?" Casey smirked, following Emily back down to their drinks.

"Here, I'll warm these up," Emily said, grabbing both mugs. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," Casey settled back into the loveseat feeling a little lightheaded at all the giddiness.

"Now you know what I want to know," Emily scolded Casey as she came back with the tea. "Tell me everything! What did you wear? Who was there? Where did you hold it? Did you guys dance? I can't imagine him dancing voluntarily, I mean without peer pressure that is. Did Nora and George pull their heads out of their asses? Because they had to get over it eventually, right?"

Casey shook her head. "No. I haven't spoken directly to my mother in over three years. And it's—" she swallowed hard at the lump that was suddenly in her throat, "they haven't exactly taken it well." She shook her head, desperately wanting to change the subject. "But the March following all hell breaking loose, we had planned all we could and finally decided that it was then or never."

_"How do I look?" Casey asked pulling at her dress and adjusting the thin strap. It was a little sexier than she would have liked, but a big, white wedding dress, complete with train, veil, and heels seemed out of place and absurd for a courthouse wedding. Derek didn't answer her but his eyes raked over her body, his mouth slightly open. Derek ogling her in public made Casey feel a little uncomfortable and she blushed before Abby smacked her son. _

_ "You look beautiful, Casey," she said, arranging a curl against Casey's shoulder. "Just- if he wasn't an indication." Derek narrowed his eyes at his mother, but then turned to look at the people milling around the courthouse. _

_Casey glanced at him. His black suit and tie made him look slimmer than he already was, but he looked extremely sophisticated, especially with the white Oxford button-down she'd begged him to wear. He refused to button the jacket, but that didn't matter. With his black slacks belted to his hips and even put on shiny black dress shoes. His hair was shorter and pushed out of his eyes. He looked very handsome. Casey smiled. They could have been going to prom. Her white dress hemmed above her knees. In spite of all of the material, it felt a little more like a slip than a gown, but rustled when she walked and she had loved the sweetheart neckline. There were no fancy embellishments or lace, but the folds in the fabric created a beautiful design and hugged her ribs before dropping into the skirt. Her white flats were simple but just right for her dress "Alright," Abby started, pulling at Derek's jacket and tie, "what time is your appointment?"_

_ "One-fifteen."_

_ "Do you have everything?"_

_ "Yep."_

_ "Your license paperwork?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "Your identifications? Both of them?"_

_ "Yes, mom."_

_ "Money?"_

_ "Got it."_

_ "Rings?"_

_ "Well, I handed them to you, so..."_

_ "Right. Yes. Who's the other witnesses?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "You need two witnesses for a marriage to be valid in Ontario. Who's the other?"_

_Casey and Derek looked at each other. He paled a little. "We only have you, mom." Abby mumbled something and Derek cursed under his breath. He ran his hands over his face. Casey knew he'd been planning since New Years. He wanted to be sure she thought it was perfect, be sure she felt like it was good for them. One tiny detail was lost, however. Casey's palms started to sweat. She looked around, trying not to panic. Maybe it was a sign. She and Derek locked eyes; he looked worried too. He knew she was scared and prone to freak outs. He started toward her. Then suddenly, he stopped and broke into a confused grin. Casey whipped around. How could he be smiling? And then she saw her._

_Liz. Hobbling up the steps with her crutches. She was clutching the rail, hopping her way up the long staircase. Tears pricked behind Casey's eyes. Liz was here. She'd come. When everything else was falling apart, her sister appeared. Casey could barely believe this was real. She covered her mouth with her hands and hurried to the stairs. How was she here? They embraced, Casey careful not to knock Lizzie over. Liz laughed a little as she gave Casey a one-armed hug._

_ "How, what?" Casey started, wiping at her cheeks, "you're here."_

_ "Obviously," Liz rolled her eyes. _

_ "__I thought you hated me."_

_ "You're my sister; I'm not allowed to permanently hate you."_

_ "But you're here! How? Your foot is broken."_

_ "I know," she looked down at her boot. "But my sister is getting married. So I'm here."_

_ "How?" Casey insisted. "How did you know where we were?" _

_ "I didn't. Ed called me this morning and Abby told him yesterday. Apparently Derek had asked him about it, too."_

_ "Derek and Ed are talking?"_

_ "Yeah, for about a month." She looked down at her feet. "You could have told me." Liz shot her a sad look. _

_ "I know. But I didn't know if you'd want to know. After everything that happened," she trailed off. _

_ "I know," Liz nodded, "I was there. And I was hurt. And then Ed reminded me that we already knew. That we had known before you did. So, I really had no right for being mad that you caught up. You should have called."_

_ "I'm sorry. I should have. I was just scared. We didn't need any more dramatics. And I didn't know that Ed and Derek were talking again."_

_ "I know; I was a little shocked at first," Liz started to grin, "Besides, I am an expert drama queen." The sisters shared a smile. That was Casey's domain._

_ "So, did Edwin drive?"_

_ "No, he couldn't get off work. He's kind of pissed that you didn't tell him either. But he's picking up Marti later so she doesn't hear it from George or Nora."_

_ Casey paused. "So, how did you get here?" They walked closer to Abby and Derek. _

_ "I called my lawyer," Liz said, stone-faced. Casey's stomach dropped. She couldn't mean who Casey dreaded she meant. There was no turnaround for him. Not after everything. _

_ "What do you mean?" she asked, nervously. _

_ Lizzie smiled and turned her head to look at the stairs, her draped necklace clicking against her crutches. And then Sam came up the steps. Casey's jaw dropped open a bit. Sam. From high school. Sam. Her first boyfriend. Sam. _

_ Derek shouted at Sam from behind her and walked stiffly over, halting in front of his high school best friend. They appeared to exchange pleasantries, both with hands shoved in their pockets. Derek finally grinned and stuck out his palm to shake Sam's hand. _

_ "Case! Guess who that hot-shot lawyer who sued that constriction company for crushing Liz is?" Derek called to her as they walked over. _

_ "Congratulations," Casey nodded, "That's so great." She didn't leave her sister's side. _

_ "You know," he shrugged, "it's all for the publicity." They laughed good-naturedly as Sam straightened his tie. "So, what brings you fine people here today, dressed up so fancy?" he asked with a funny, amused look on his face. _

_ The mood sombered quickly. This subject was still an open wound and they weren't ready for more loud reactions. Last time was hard enough. What if Sam thought similarly?_

_ "Well," Casey started at the same as Derek began to explain. They both stopped. _

_ "Do I have to start guessing?" Sam smiled at them. Derek reached for Casey's hand. _

_ "We're," he started, "we're gonna get married." He sounded as if he were holding his breath. Casey was familiar with how he reacted to most situations, and she was sure she could hear his heart beating next to her. _

_ "You're together. As in, you and Casey? For real?"_

_ "For real."_

_ "And you want to get married?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "To each other?" he looked between the two of them. "Did both of you completely forget high school? I mean, Derek was an asshole."_

_ "Hey," Derek defended himself angrily. Casey grinned._

_ "Yeah, I know," she acknowledged quietly. "I lived through it."_

_ "But I guess he did try to kill me when I tried to date you," Sam mused. _

_ "Not kill you, per say," Derek countered. "And, Casey, you know you're not thirty yet?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "Okay, I'll trust you. But I can only defend one of you if you try to kill each other later."_

_ "What?" Casey placed her free hand over the one that held Derek's, not quite sure she knew what was going on._

_ "Conflict of interest," Abby whispered. _

_ "I know, mom," Derek mumbled._

_ "So, if you both know what you're getting into," Sam warned._

_ "Yeah," Derek said, cautiously. He sounded as apprehensive as Casey felt. _

_ "Sweet, let's do this thing," Sam rubbed his hands together. _

_ "Wait, that's it? You're okay with this? No scary interrogation? No legal or dictionary definition of related?" Casey scarcely stopped for breath. "I mean you're acting so normal. You know this isn't normal right? You don't think we're deranged? Or disturbed? Like certifiable and should be locked up? You don't think there's something wrong with us?"Sam cracked a smile. _

_ "Oh, you're definitely certifiably deranged, but," he shrugged, "I don't care."_

_ "Sam, people literally run from us. They usher their kids away if they know us. Our own parents disowned us; we haven't spoken in months! And you're fine?"_

_ "It happens," he shrugged again. "Parents don't know everything, no offense Abby. And I know you guys; love is unpredictable and it happens, others be damned. I already knew. Well, guessed, really, but I had a feeling about you." He pointed a finger at Casey and smiled. "There was something about you." Derek slung an arm over her shoulders and pressed his lips to her temple. She hadn't seen him so happy in a long time. _

_ "Okay, okay, everyone," Abby looked at her watch and herded them all together. "This is it!" Liz grabbed Casey's hand, carefully balancing near her sister. "Are you ready?"_

_ "Ha," Derek swallowed. He sounded confident, but Casey knew him and his eyes hid the fear that had settled in the pit of her stomach. "But let's go." He looked over at her, beaming. He kissed her on the mouth and lead her back into where the judge was waiting for them. _

"Twenty minutes and a couple of signatures later, we were married."

"By a judge." Casey nodded. "In a court room." She nodded again. For a moment, she was afraid that Emily would laugh, or think that she'd given up on the fancy affair she'd blathered about in high school. The quite was eating her alive. "Well, no one can say you're predictable," Emily smiled.

"What?"

"I mean, I thought you'd fight tooth and nail for that fairytale, binder wedding you created in high school."

"My fairytale changed," Casey shrugged, "When I finally understood that we were on our own, it didn't matter how anymore, it just mattered that it was him."

"Aw," Emily cooed at her. "You guys are so cute! What happened next?"

"Well, Ed brought Marti up and we went to dinner."

"All of you?"

"Yeah, it was really nice. It was like we were normal for a little bit."

"That's so amazing!"

"Yeah, Marti was mad that we didn't wait until she could drink, but it was a really nice party."

"Like your own miniature reception! That's adorable!"

"Thanks," Casey laughed. "Okay, now tell me about your wedding!" she rearranged herself on the couch, excitedly changing the subject. Emily's grinned widened brightly as she launched into flower arrangements and centerpieces.

Casey was so excited to be having a grownup conversation that wasn't about work or babysitters. She felt vibrant and alive. Emily had heard what she had feared telling her. And she hadn't run screaming. She hadn't condemned her to insanity; hadn't been disgusted. It was nothing like she'd had pictured.

She had never expected to be surprised by a person's reaction to her life. People had given her looks of superiority and distrust. They had treated her differently if they knew who Derek was supposed to have been. Some who said they wouldn't care judged her, even if they didn't know it. The last time she had felt relaxed about spending time around someone from her past had been Sam.

She had written off his acceptance of them as part of his good nature, but with Emily's mirrored response, she began to think that somewhere, someone had the idea before they did. Emily had even made it sound like she had been waiting for it on the first day they saw each other. Which made Casey's head spin because there was no logic to her and Derek. There never had been, and they certainly didn't make any more sense now.

It hurt every time people pretended they didn't know her. Whenever people moved quickly away from her or grabbed their children away from hers or sent her nasty, condemning emails, a part of her crumbled up and died. Eventually, she'd just given up. She stopped saying hello to people she'd known, she stopped going near home; she stopped telling people her story. She kept to herself and formed armor out of hurt feelings and anger.

The buzz of her phone startled her. She'd ignored two calls from Derek earlier; he knew where she was and when she would be back. She had put it on the calendar on the fridge and on sticky notes on the television, his steering wheel, and on their children's doors. He should have found at least one of them. She wasn't going to answer until she looked down at the blurb of the message on the screen in her lap. And her heart faltered and dropped into her stomach.

"Oh, my God," she stood quickly, nearly dropping her phone. "Emily, I'm so sorry, but I have to go."

"What? What happened?"

"You know how I said Nora and George weren't exactly supportive of Derek and I having a relationship?"

"Bit of an understatement," Emily mumbled.

"They—well, George—served us. With papers. A few weeks ago." She closed her eyes and shook her head, not truly believing this was real. "He thinks that our mental state makes us unfit parents."

"What?"

"They've subpoenaed our children for testimony. He's suing us for custody."

* * *

That would probably be the worst text message to get ever.

2,500 points for thoughts or feelings! :)

I'll post points soon so y'all can cash in!

This giant box right down here is lonely. Cheer it up with some letters! :)


	18. Chapter 18

Hello everyone! Happy April! I hope everyone has had some spring-like days (or maybe just some warm days?) Here is the next bit!

I really love every review. They are amazing motivation and always great insight! Plus they make me happy so there. :)

2,500 points to bonniereads and to KaRaEa! Thank you for guessing! I love "listening" to the reactions to my writing; I get to where I can't stop smiling. :)

Disclaimer: Nope. I have too much to pay for and only got a lint roller for Easter.

* * *

Casey was exhausted. She had never read more in a single day in her entire life. Probably. Her eyes hurt and she was really hoping that she'd remembered to grab her glasses off of the desk before she left; it'd been on her list, but it was the end of a rough day and sometimes not everything got checked off.

She pulled her car into her garage and sat for a moment. Her house looked quiet and mostly dark. The porch lights were on and the lights on the second floor. It was late. She yawned and grabbed for her bag, happy for the weight of her laptop; at least she'd remembered something.

The kitchen was dark but the counter tops were clean. She hung her purse on the hook and dropped her keys on the table. She meant to hang them up in their proper place, but today was a day that was never meant to have happened. She could hear her family upstairs, slightly muffled by the ceiling. She was so glad to be home.

She wandered around her kitchen, checking the dishwasher and moving the melt-able plastic toddler forks to the upper rack. He never checked the chart she made on proper dish loading and would probably complain if melted plastic broke another appliance. She looked to make sure nothing was left in the sink or the microwave and that he'd remembered to put the leftovers in the Tupperware she'd set out for him.

He had. The note he'd left in the fridge blatantly read "knock it off nerd-o." He was so eloquent and kind.

She took the stairs up to the second floor and saw the washroom light on without any occupants. There were little puddles everywhere and towels were strewn over the floor and countertops. He must have attempted to bathe them both at once. Which didn't fully explain the helmet full of water resting in the empty tub, but did account for the amount of water around the room. She kicked a mostly dry towel around the floor as she rearranged the counter top and gathered everything that was sopping wet. She had to back track to the washing machine, but when the load of laundry hummed as it started to agitate, she was happy to have one more thing done.

Derek was sitting against the wall in between the doors to their children's rooms. He had his knees bent and his arms draped over them. His head was down and he could have been asleep, except that his face jerked up as he heard her approach. He gave Casey a real grin as she reached him and turned to sit next to him. He had a great smile; it made her feel fluttery, even now.

"Hey," he kept his voice soft, just in case their son decided that he wasn't tired because everyone else was so much more exciting. Derek took her hand and held it in his lap as she relaxed against his side.

"Hey," she whispered back. "How were they?"

"Loud. And slippery." Casey held in a snort.

"That's why we don't usually bathe them together. Especially when one gets loose."

"Yeah, that Anna's a speedy runner." They locked eyes and had to look away quickly before they laughed and broke the quite spell that had fallen over their house.

"She's pretty sneaky," Casey agreed, "she must be related to you."

"Well, obviously," he muttered into her hair, "You couldn't be sneaky to save your life."

"Yeah, well, you'll be sad that she's not like that when she's a teenager and dating."

"Oh, no," Derek shook his head, "no boy is getting anywhere near enough to date her."

"So as to encourage the sneakiness?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Oh, dammit." He clearly hadn't thought that through.

"You could fend boys off with a hockey stick. Or a real stick," she smirked. Ed had joked that Derek had been "blessed" with Anna because of his high school and college reputations involving the female populations. And he was going to pay karma back for every "penny."

"Or I could just train Conor to beat them up."

"Yes, that's it, Der. Teach our son to be violent, because that's the answer to your daddy-daughter issues."

"Well, if Conor handles it, they won't be daddy-daughter issues, now will they?" She rolled her eyes at his obvious pride in this brilliant epiphany.

"So, did you have any problems with putting them down together?" she asked, changing the subject back to what she really wanted to know. He shook his head.

"Not really. She picked a story, he picked the next. Anna fell asleep halfway through his story and so I just put him down after that."

"Wow. You got luck with that one."

"I think it was because Nanu picked that counting animal book again," Derek explained, using his favorite nickname for his son. Casey was only slightly concerned that her son wouldn't understand that "Nanu" came from his own inability to say his name and was not a second name he had in addition to "Conor."

"Yeah, she usually drops off at about the eight salamanders with that story anyway." Derek nodded and brushed his thumb over her knuckles.

"Yep. And Conor only got up once because Spot had gone missing." Their son had a talent for leaving his stuffed zebra 'Spot' in places he couldn't remember later. The sad call of 'Bot, are you?' got to her every time and she routinely forgot to scold him for getting out of bed when the zee-ba was involved.

"In our room?" she guessed.

"In our room," he confirmed. Ninety percent of the time it had been lost in their room and she sent him off to bed with no comment. Maybe it was her worry that her son wouldn't know that 'Spot' was actually stripped and not spotted. It would be Marti's quacking cow all over again.

They sat in comfortable silence, Casey breathing in the moment. She rested her head on his upper arm, comfortable. It made up for the rest of the day, right here. It made everything all better.

"So, how did it go with Sam?" Derek finally asked. She made a face but sat upright again.

"Fine," she stretched, suppressing a yawn. "It was mostly research." He raised his eyebrows at her, asking for more information, but she ignored him as she tried to stretch her shoulders.

"What kind of research? Did you guys find anything?"

"Of course," she responded, moving to get up. It wasn't an easy task in her pencil skirt, but she was a professional woman, so she managed without looking completely graceless. "I'm an excellent reader, dear," she reminded him, kissing his cheek before offering her hand out to help him up.

"I know that, _dear_," he narrowed his eyes at her as he stood. "What did Sam say?"

"Basic law stuff," she shrugged. She laced their fingers together as she lightly pulled him toward their room. She liked him. A lot. His look of annoyance at her refusal to give him the information he wanted made her want to giggle. He was adorable and completely hers.

"Caseeeeey," he whined, stomping his feet in perfect mimicry of his daughter.

"Der-rek," Casey whined back, shutting the hall light off as she entered the bedroom. She let go of his hand and shut the door behind him as he flopped across their pristinely arranged bedding. She kicked her heels off in the direction of her closet and watched as Derek watched her get ready for bed. "Stop oogling me, Venturi" she scolded him.

"Stop withholding information," he hesitated for a slit-second, "Venturi." He made a face as if the name tasted sour. "That whole last name thing was a lot more affective when it didn't sound like I was interrogating myself." Casey smiled in agreement as she pulled off her blouse and disappeared into the bathroom. She sniggered as she heard him collapse back onto their comforter with a louder than necessary "oh, come on!" as an indication that he was disappointed in her choice of place to undress.

When she'd finished washing her face and brushing her teeth and changing, she emerged and pushed him off of the bed they were supposed to be sharing.

"You are so mean to me," he pouted. She kissed him as she arranged herself under the blankets.

"Sam's pretty sure that we can get it thrown out," she finally told him, her face more serious. The pout immediately dropped of Derek's face.

"Really? That's awesome! Right?"

"Yeah, it is. It means that this won't really go to trial."

"Well, that's good, then." He changed his clothes with an absent minded look on his face. Casey bit her bottom lip slightly transfixed. "Stop oogling me," he reprimanded, smirking. She gave him an innocent look as he glared at her. "So, what makes Sam think that we can get it chucked out?" he changed the subject as he slipped in next to her.

"Well," she started, "first, George doesn't have an established relationship with our children, so that's a big part of it. And then there's the fact that my mother has only ever seen them twice."

"And, you know, the fact that we're not actually mentally crazy."

"Yeah, that, too."

"So, how did we get to the point where George was able to get that subpeanut, or whatever?"

"Sam thinks that he got a subpoena because he knows people. He's a well established lawyer and people probably owe him favors, but that won't mean they'll grant him a trial or a verdict. Favors only go so far."

"Okay, that's good. Sam told me that Anna just cried through hers anyway, so that can't be helpful, right?"

"I have no idea. They could spin it that she was terrified to say anything, but she's two, and they had one of those child psychologists in there to make sure nothing weird went on."

"Nothing weird?"

"Like overly aggressive questioning or something to try to confuse them."

"Okay, I thought you meant like touchy-feely weird."

"Oh, gross, Der."

"It happens, Case, and I'm not letting it happen to them. Especially when you abandon the three of us to go hang out with Sam and Emily."

"Yeah, it's complete abandonment when I'm building a case against your father."

"You said we didn't need one!"

"We _shouldn't_ need one. The burden of proof is on George. All he has is when you were arrested in New York for that one fight with your entire team, nice going, by the way. And that, you know, we're technically related through him and Nora."

"Well, great. Way to make me feel really confident, Princess."

"Shut up. We're going to be fine. Don't be an ass."

"Casey," he said, very seriously. "Don't use that word." She hit him with her pillow a few times and glared at him.

"We're going to be _fine,_" she emphasized, smacking him a last time. "Jerk."

"Good. Because George is not touching my kid. Either of them." He took her hand and kissed her wrist. Casey watched him as he processed this information.

"Hey," she bumped his shoulder lightly with her own. He looked up at her. "You're a good dad," she told him, softly. He searched her face, she assumed he was unsure if she was joking or not. She smiled and kissed him. "You know, for someone who thinks a subpoena is called a subpeanut." He narrowed his brows at her. "Because it's so close to the real word," she struggled to keep a straight face. She knew she was pushing it. He growled at her and nearly pounced, attaching his mouth to hers. She laughed as he kissed her, making every effort to kiss him back.

She loved him. He probably had no idea how much, but she loved him. He was weird; probably more than was strictly necessary, but it was completely him. And it probably always had been. He'd been there to pull her off her high horse and integrate her in social situations. He'd taken care of her and kept her grounded.

Granted, she'd picked up after him as well. She'd deflated his ego when he needed it, she'd introduced him to the idea that he was smart, and she had been there to hold his hand when he needed the support. They were complements of each other; completions.

It didn't need to make sense to anyone else. It made sense to them. They had built a beautiful family, regardless of how anyone else saw them.

And she'd been accepted as a normal person to an old friend. The unfortunate situations where people from her past would hide or run or usher people away from her had made her scarred of anyone who knew about her. But Emily had made her feel so normal. She had said that she'd seen it coming. Casey wasn't sure how that happened, because _they_ hadn't seen it coming. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter that she knew. Because she knew and she had stayed. They'd even made plans together for later in the week. She was relieved to feel so… normal.

Because she and Derek weren't. Normal. In any sense of the word. And that was just fine. It was so them and completely perfect.

She lay awake, listening to him breathe. It was a soothing familiar sound. She knew him; how he breathed, how his heart sounded, how warm his skin was when he slept.

And she knew he understood her more than she understood herself. He didn't care that she organized their closet or their toiletries; he didn't mind that she alphabetized the spices and the pantry, he didn't care that the fridge was categorized and properly labeled. And she didn't care that he had no intention in helping her in any of those endeavors.

They weren't planned out. They weren't as organized as she had originally hoped. But it was how they were. A complete mess making attempts to be organized.

"Derek," she whispered to the dark room. He might have been sleeping, he was harder to hear when she was sitting up. "Der?" He grunted at her; he was awake. "I love you." Silence. Casey nudged him. "Der."

"What?" he grogged, turning over in a huff.

"I love you."

"Yeah, okay," he mumbled flipping back over.

"Der-rek!" she whined, nudging him again. "That's not what you are supposed to say." He didn't move. "Der-rek!"

"Yeah, okay, fine, Case, love you, too. Now shut up and cuddle me."

She snuggled close to his back, failing to suppress a giant grin. He loved her. And nothing else really mattered.

* * *

And we're almost done! I think I'll do one more (because I am doing one more)

Here are the points as of now:

LoveMeant2BE at 8,510

KaRaEa at 6,510

Sunshine-Midnight123 at 5,000

bonniereads at 4,000

garnetandgold47 at 3,510

thecanadian13 at 2,500

stars4redvines at 1,500

Silkylove13 at 10

Wow. Was I stingy on points or what? Okay, 5,000 points to who can tell me what comes next!

The box down here would like you to tell me your thoughts. I mean I would like it too, but it's mostly the box...

Let me know what you think and how you want to spend your points! :) [if I did my math wrong or if I skipped you, please let me know!]

P.S. Did anyone notice that they keep changing formats? What is this? Facebook? :) [I also don't own facebook]


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